'undermining' keyboardists 'authority' what would you do in my position?

[4stringNaeem]

Hope it works out for you. I think that MOST if not all of the people here on Talkbass have been in situations like your own. And it quickly becomes apparent that being in a band is about more than having a compatible musical vision, but finding people who can work together well. I would venture a guess that no matter who the keyboardist worked with, she would no doubt be a nightmare in any band.

Chalk this up as a learning experience. And if you have misgivings about a project based on the personnel involved? Trust your instincts. Because very often they'll serve you well to stay away from sketchy people.

Yeah I will. I've not been to a meeting that went as bad as this, its normally a few rehearsals in that I can tell if the people are going to be difficult for me to work around and usually quit soon after. I've never left straight after the first meeting. Oh well its a learning experience as you said and its even nicer to know I'm not alone in feeling like this aha.

Thanks again for the advice. This is also appreciated and something I shan't forget

 

[Ewo]

I'm in agreement with the earlier posts: that band can't possibly be salvaged. Walk away from it.

I don't figure that all the people in a band have to be BFFs for the band to be good--but they do have to maintain professional working relationships. And the thread-starter post described many indicators that was not gonna be the case: ego, dependency, class envy or something like it. DOA, I would think.

 

[travep]

Ok...the age gives it some context. Someone above is right...we've all been through that. You will always have personalities and you, as most of us has, will develop opinions about band dynamics. I can say that you will get better at recognizing quirky, ego and crazy and you'll be able to quickly sum those dynamics up and make healthy decisions about where you spend your time. This is not a good situation, as I think you have determined, and it's most likely due to immaturity at the moment. Of course, there may also be that element of crazy too ;-)

 

[1958Bassman]

Yeah I'm working with the singer on wednesday as we're starting our own project. She seems to be a bit upset as to which way things have turned out but I guess it doesn't help when everytime an opinion differs to the keyboardist (and guitarist), we get bombarded with stupid comments which I can't take any more but I guess she has more patience aha.

And I was laughing more because I found it just plain weird. I was angry of course but I just found it shocking how them getting their own gear could be percieved as a bad thing if they have the money and want to be "professional"

"Someone being so consistently wrong without a criminal act"

Aha that made me laugh a bit.

This- "(i had suggested somewhere else such as a cafe but majority outvoted me to a park as they didn't want me to spend money)". They didn't want you to spend money at a cafe. Paying for their equipment is different- it's for THEM.

I would probably get in her face and say "THIS ENDS NOW!". She thinks you're talking behind her back- let her know that if you hear that she does this, it will become an ugly situation. She probably thinks it's OK for her t do that, but not others. She needs to learn this, and several other lessons, about dealing with people. Ask who made her the leader. It seems she was demanding that the band reform and she forced someone with religious objections to go to the meeting. That can't last long and it shouldn't.
Thanks for your comment (and for the chuckle)

 

[4stringNaeem]

I'm in agreement with the earlier posts: that band can't possibly be salvaged. Walk away from it.

I don't figure that all the people in a band have to be BFFs for the band to be good--but they do have to maintain professional working relationships. And the thread-starter post described many indicators that was not gonna be the case: ego, dependency, class envy or something like it. DOA, I would think.

True. I did think something similar but at first but put it down to my feeling annoyed how I was expected to provide everything.

And about the BFFs thing, I think it's better when people aren't as close as I'm sure the friendship could be hurt if a member can't take criticism. Just my two cents though, I'm not hugely experienced.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

 

[DWBass]

So after that fiasco I think I should leave. Would that be a correct decision?

Really? I'm surprised that you hung around for the entire meeting. The minute I heard that "I" was supplying all the gear, I woulda hightailed it outta there so fast, I woulda been a blur! And why did the bassist even show up? Do you really want to be in a band with that 'B**ch?

 

[4stringNaeem]

Ok...the age gives it some context. Someone above is right...we've all been through that. You will always have personalities and you, as most of us has, will develop opinions about band dynamics. I can say that you will get better at recognizing quirky, ego and crazy and you'll be able to quickly sum those dynamics up and make healthy decisions about where you spend your time. This is not a good situation, as I think you have determined, and it's most likely due to immaturity at the moment. Of course, there may also be that element of crazy too ;-)

Aha
I would like to think I'm getting slowly better at recognising the traits of the band dynamics, of course I still need work but I suppose the bad experiences will help me to understand what NOT to look for. As for the crazy... maybe...

Thank you for your comment

 

[4stringNaeem]

Really? I'm surprised that you hung around for the entire meeting. The minute I heard that "I" was supplying all the gear, I woulda hightailed it outta there so fast, I woulda been a blur! And why did the bassist even show up? Do you really want to be in a band with that 'B**ch?

Aha no I don't want to be in that band. And I was shocked that she'd just outright said it. I DO wish I'd have just waked off earlier though. It would've saved me a lot of time aha

Thanks for sharing your views

 

[travep]

I might also diverge a little from those that indicate that you don't have to be friends with band mates if everyone is professional. I would suggest that in that age range, look for people you enjoy hanging with. A lot of emphasis is placed on "professionalism" around this site and most of the advise is really good...the above is good as well. I would just caution you about thinking too much about that at a young age in a band that, more than likely, is not going to pay a "professional" wage. This is not to say you don't want to take things seriously and do the right thing like a professional would. However, this stuff is supposed to be fun. You may, of course, take this with a grain of salt...as you might have guessed, I do this stuff mostly for fun

 

[RustyAxe]

So after that fiasco I think I should leave. Would that be a correct decision?

Good grief man, do you really have to ask? If they were the LAST band on earth I'd be polishing up my solo act.

 

[4stringNaeem]

I might also diverge a little from those that indicate that you don't have to be friends with band mates if everyone is professional. I would suggest that in that age range, look for people you enjoy hanging with. A lot of emphasis is placed on "professionalism" around this site and most of the advise is really good...the above is good as well. I would just caution you about thinking too much about that at a young age in a band that, more than likely, is not going to pay a "professional" wage. This is not to say you don't want to take things seriously and do the right thing like a professional would. However, this stuff is supposed to be fun. You may, of course, take this with a grain of salt...as you might have guessed, I do this stuff mostly for fun

Yeah that's true. The other bands I'm a part of are great. I didn't know the members prior, everyone has their parts sorted every rehearsal and communicates properly. What's more is that everyone has their own gear aha
And it's still fun for me. It may seem strange to say but I still get that fun feeling when practising just as I did when I started out aha. Even if all I'm practising are scales :3

Thank you for your advice and comments

 

[4stringNaeem]

Good grief man, do you really have to ask? If they were the LAST band on earth I'd be polishing up my solo act.

Haha I just wanted to be sure. I was still a bit unsure it was the right move and if it could come back to bite my behind in the future. I now realise the worst they can do is throw abuse which is pretty silly.


Thanks for your comment

 

[xgator4u]

WOW. Just WOW.

cue Twilight Zone music...
1. Bassist quit because making $ is against his religion?
2.Guitarist is deathly afraid of dogs, but that is the NORM where you are?
3.This is a college band that has not played in a while and you are 18 ?
4.What instrument/involvement are you supposed to provide? these others already have all slots. 2 keyboard players???
5.None of these "musicians" has an instrument?

That is just the weirdness that I can immediately recall.

Do NOT attempt to adjust your T.V.

 

[4stringNaeem]

WOW. Just WOW.

cue Twilight Zone music...
1. Bassist quit because making $ is against his religion?
2.Guitarist is deathly afraid of dogs, but that is the NORM where you are?
3.This is a college band that has not played in a while and you are 18 ?
4.What instrument/involvement are you supposed to provide? these others already have all slots. 2 keyboard players???
5.None of these "musicians" has an instrument?

That is just the weirdness that I can immediately recall.

Do NOT attempt to adjust your T.V.

1. He believes that music is a sin and that earning money doing so clashes with his beliefs and teachings.

2. I don't know why that is its just a lot of people are scared of them. It IS weird.

3. In the UK, college years are from 16- 19 with some students finishing a year earlier.

4. I am supposed to provide, PA, a Guitar and amp as well as a pedalboard, a bass and an amp, a drum kit and a second keyboard for the other keyboardist. with the keys we usually have one playing lead guitar parts (which the guitarist can't play -- we don't have a lead guitar as we don't have lead parts in all songs) or use one as a synth or for solos. That role is usually mine whilst the role of chords or any brass parts in a song (chords are are meant to layer with guitar) is given to the other keys player.

5. The only members with gear is myself and the vocalist who has microphones for herself and for mic placement on stage should we need it

Bit weird aha.

Thanks for commenting

 

[cheapbasslovin]

By leaving you allow the keyboardist to reestablish her authority. It's clearly the most selfless thing you can do.

 

[4stringNaeem]

By leaving you allow the keyboardist to reestablish her authority. It's clearly the most selfless thing you can do.

Does it? Oh well I'm sure if the others are satisfied with the way she runs things then that's fine.

Thanks for commenting and sharing your views

 

[xgator4u]

1. He believes that music is a sin and that earning money doing so clashes with his beliefs and teachings.

2. I don't know why that is its just a lot of people are scared of them. It IS weird.

3. In the UK, college years are from 16- 19 with some students finishing a year earlier.

4. I am supposed to provide, PA, a Guitar and amp as well as a pedalboard, a bass and an amp, a drum kit and a second keyboard for the other keyboardist. with the keys we usually have one playing lead guitar parts (which the guitarist can't play -- we don't have a lead guitar as we don't have lead parts in all songs) or use one as a synth or for solos. That role is usually mine whilst the role of chords or any brass parts in a song (chords are are meant to layer with guitar) is given to the other keys player.

5. The only members with gear is myself and the vocalist who has microphones for herself and for mic placement on stage should we need it

Bit weird aha.

Thanks for commenting

WAY weird.
Previous posters conjured up "Cartman",
early on in that "band" meeting I would have too.
"Screw You, I'm going HOME".

 

[4stringNaeem]

WAY weird.
Previous posters conjured up "Cartman",
early on in that "band" meeting I would have too.
"Screw You, I'm going HOME".

Aha I really wish I did.
But oh well I can learn from it all I suppose.

Didn't realise it was that strange aha.

Thanks for sharing your views

 

[socialleper]

DRAMA!
If someone isn't in to it, you can't force them. Music is something you either want to do or you don't do it.
And you need to say "You play keyboard, you play key f'ing board, STFU!"

 

[steweDbass]

There are better things for you on the horizon I'm sure, you don't need these people holding you back. Run! Don't look back. I recall, I had a similar situation....I left quick sharpo and toured with some "professionals" who just plain wouldn't do any of the poopie you just listed... All the best!