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Using Noise as a Weapon

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Matt Till, Apr 2, 2004.

  1. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    Well, have you done it? As a college kid, I often have no choice. Example:

    We were throwing a party a while back... by we, I mean my roomates. I don't drink or smoke. Eventually, this lame guy they know shows up, and brings about 40 people with him. He brings them because he can't throw parties at his tiny apartment, so he throws a party at ours.

    I walk into my room which became the pot smoking room somehow. I did not $#*$ing apreciate this one bit! So I figure, what do mellow pot smoking hippies hate more than anything? Cannibal Corpse. I blast it through my stereo. They clear out. I shut/lock the door and put up a sign on the door, "NO *$%#ing POT IN MY ROOM!"

    This party is getting out of hand, and everyone is annoying me, trashing our apartment, etc. I realize then that 75% of them were underage, as was I, so I wasn't harboring minors. So I did what any bass player would do. Turned on my Boss OB-3, amp to 11 and played a song I like to call, "Get out of my apartment, I hate you all." Which is just me strumming all the strings and letting it sustain for as long as it wants.

    I get yelled at, but, I can't hear them that well. I yell, people eventually get the point and yay, party is over. :hyper:

    I've decided in my new apartment, that if my neighbors don't start being quiet after midnight (I've asked them several times) that when I get up at 7 in the morning that they will recieve a similar song called, "How do you like a bunch of damn noise when you are trying to sleep?" :p
  2. Sundogue


    Apr 26, 2001
    Wausau, WI
    I remember in the early eighties my band played a lot of outdoor venues and we had a 10,000 watt outdoor concert PA, that we kept in the back half of a modified LARGE schoolbus.

    Our singer was moving and we decided to throw a party. The upstairs apartment dwellers had been considerable pains in the asses, where they cranked up their stereo until all hours of the night on a regular basis.

    Until the night we threw our party that is. For whatever reason, that night they wanted it quiet. My singer told them that we weren't that loud (which we weren't) and that for the entire time he lived there, they kept him up all the time. Well, they got more irritated as the night wore on, until finally our singer said, screw it...let's bring in the PA and have a REAL party.

    We hauled in the entire PA and laid the speakers on the floor, pointing up at the upstairs tenant. Then we cranked it. God, that was a riot.

    Now that I'm older, it would not be something I would do...but it was fun at the moment.
  3. Matt, that is very immature and exceeds good taste. I approve, nicely done.
  4. I dont do this to people directly, but more towards the memory of someone I have had a run in with. I'll get my 200w amp (not that big but in my small room its very effective) turn it all the way up, raise the mids, making sure the treble is around -5 and the bass is at 0, making sure my earplugs are in, detune my stings down an octave, so its real harsh and crunchy, play slap as fast and as hard as I possibly can for as long as I can, occasionally yelling out "****ING BASTARD!!!". This is how I manage my anger and still remain a pacifist, so darn effective! Shakes all the negative energy from my bones... probably some marrow as well. Not sure if im using my bass like a weapon, but Im pretty sure if I did this to anyone directly they'd be intimidated. I could live without bass.
  5. NativeBass


    Sep 20, 2003
    Oh man, so this bassist from a band I played a show with one time was talking me down to all the musicians in my age group in town. Which would have been fine, if I couldn't play bass well at all. And absolutely was NOT fine because he is terrible. Anyway, I happen to be friends with his drummer and before a show they were going to play he ran out to find the guitarist and the crowd was getting restless so I got up and started jamming out fusion style with the drummer (The band in mention was a butt rock band) so we jammed a bit and played some changes and I started showing off my double slap and hammer on technique, circus tricks to be sure, but I don't think anyone in the crowd could tell (except for a few of the guys that I was being talked down to) that I wasn't that talented. Anyway, the bassist and guitarist came back and proceeded to put on a very mediocre show.

    Long story short; if you're going to talk sh!t about someone who's better than you's playing, don't let them show you up on your own gear. Hahaha.
  6. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    :eek: Whoa, you must mean something other than octave here... and you must sound like Fieldy!

    or something...

    Not me!
  7. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    I dress to impress...


  8. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    That was a wonderful story Matt. I also agree with baba.

    My story: My neighbor in the house i grew up in had his bedroom wall connected to mine. If I farted he'd bang on the wall. Any noise whasoever after midnite and he's blast classical music at 6AM. I had enoughh.

    My parents went away for a week, I got out my sequencer, keyboard and 130 watt peavey amp. I recorded my fist hitting the upper register of the keys, and the lower register, looped it in the sequencer, put my amp against the wall and turned it up. 12 AM I turned it all on and went out.

    Neighbors told me the next day that the cops were there, but they didn't wait around for my return - so I didn't get in any trouble concerning that. I'm not sure what the guy next door did - there were actually no repurcussions when I returned except for his music blasting the next morning, which I knew was coming. I was still awake anyhow. Went to sleep in my parents room. Ahhh, the joys of adolescence.
  9. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    I haven't had the opportunity to use noise as a weapon, but I've certainly had to use it as a distraction. My new roommate had just moved in to the room next to me; she was young, cute, and had a boyfriend who liked to spend the night alot. They were not discreet. They were loud. The sounded a little violent.

    I had to turn my bass on and work on music with big thick headphones alot to avoid listening to their lovemaking. Pleh.
  10. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    A sequencer... brilliant! :p
  11. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    great stuff joe. I would have loved to see your neighbor's reaction. Probably dented his wall banging so hard to get the "music" to stop.
  12. D.A.R.K.

    D.A.R.K. Supporting Member

    Aug 20, 2003
    as an audio engineer who works too much, i would have to say 80%
    (i'm being really giving) of the groups i work for are dangerous weapons and should be banned.
    anyway, if it's late and everyone is dallying too long post-performance
    after 3 announcements to shut the venue, the frequency oscillator
    on an old soundcraft makes a good icepick in the ear:
    set the frequency to 4k and slowly bring it up in the mains...
    (not too much, this will actually dammage ears if too loud)
    viola! everyone leaves in a hurry ;)
    also, i've heard of a riot controll device which consists of a subwoofer built onto a truck which delivers such a loud blast at a specific sub frequency that everybody within the area has a bowel movement
    -hard to riot with a pantload i suppose. :D
    p.s. my ns 5 eub is a ladykiller
  13. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    You once again prove to rock.....

  14. Heh a few months ago I wrote an screenplay for English class called "The attack of the susceptible-to-low-frequencies-killer-aliens" in which a whorde of killer aliens attacked the Earth, but, get this, low frequencies kill them! :D So anyway, they go about taking over the world, when one breaks into the room of a promising young bassist, who is practicing at the time, and dies. The young bassist, called Dan, realised their weakness, assembled an army of bassists, double bassists, cello and tuba players, and set about wiping the aliens out. Then he became king of the world. I got an A. :D It was using music as a weapon, just not in "real life".
  15. jewbacca


    Dec 21, 2003
    Musical weapons...
    my neighbors above my apartment at the time decided to have a soccer party and listen to 70's disco music...a wretched combination.

    the second time that happened, i wasn't going to deal with the music and them doin it upstairs and the stomping bumping crazying yelling...

    it was lovely, i plugged in my 6x10 and swrbass750 preamped out into a 4x15,4x10,2x6,4 horn 3000 watt pa that was in my living room because of the outdoor show i had played the day before..

    I then proceeded to make loud bass noises along with my some kmfdm running through the PA, i was having a good old time, after 10 minutes, i stopped. the music had stopped upstairs, as had the pounding.....all of a sudden :knock knock:

    i open the door expecting cops... it's the neighbors..."can you try and keep it down!"

    i told him that's what it sounded like on 1, i asked if his stomping dork party was done, he said no, and that he intended to proceed...i told him that it appeared i had 9 more notches to go and i needed to test this stuff out sometime..

    2 weeks later he got evicted because the neighbors on either side of him complained about loud music and bass at 3 am.



    mars attacks...except it was highend crooning.

  16. Sweet revenge on the soccer dork party. I love it.

    Speaking of which, my next door neighbor is one of those jokers, with even worse friends. There's no reasoning with them, but a low B seems to remove unwanted pests from the area. Not mega loud, just loud enough to resonate through the walls. (They're doing that stuff after posted noise hours)

    Oh, and that does sound like mars attacks part 2, heh.
  17. I use my 100 watt Fender Bassman amp when my Lanlord plays his music too loudly. He quiets down after somet things start rattling :).

    I would love to hook my bass up to my friends fathers music room. He's really into music. Probably has around 1-2,000 CD's and I know for a fact over 10,000 in audio gear.
  18. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    Unrealistic! The second they cruised down a main street, all the kids would cruise by thumpin' 50 Cent and that would be the end of it!
  19. Moongarm


    Apr 10, 2004
    My old roomate in college had neighbors below us who used to argue non stop. One night after sick of it and repeated complaints going unheard we sat around thinking of what is more annoying than a disfunctional couple argueing. Of course there was only one option. Barry Manilow!

    We found some tunes on the net and burned them off on a disc popped it into our stereo and cranked it up. The scene is as follows.
    Her name was lola
    I can't believe you slept with that whore!
    She was from copa
    Well if you'd ever put out and not sit around on your fat arse all day.
    Copa Cabana

    The neighbors across from us who were just getting home and walking to their apartment heard it and knocked on our door crying they were laughing so hard.
  20. Passinwind

    Passinwind I know nothing. Commercial User

    Dec 3, 2003
    Columbia River Gorge, WA.
    Owner/Designer &Toaster Tech Passinwind Electronics
    if it's late and everyone is dallying too long post-performance
    after 3 announcements to shut the venue, the frequency oscillator
    on an old soundcraft makes a good icepick in the ear:

    Nice! I prefer Kate Smith, cranked right to the edge of clipping. Although, the bartender used to use my band as the last call, go away message pretty regularly at one time at open mike nights.

    As far as neighbors, slide bass pushed to feedback works wonders at 6-7AM or so, maybe an hour afrter they finally get to sleep.

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