Dismiss Notice

Psst... Ready to join TalkBass and start posting, make new friends, sell your gear, and more?  Register your free account in 30 seconds.

Vocalist Audition

Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by Ben Rose, Sep 16, 2004.


  1. Ben Rose

    Ben Rose

    Jan 12, 2004
    Oakland
    At recent auditions for a jazz program, an aspiring vocalist had selected "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" as one of her audition pieces.

    But there was no tomahto, just 2 tomatoes...no potahto, just 2 potatoes.

    She sang the whole song without changing the pronunciation of like words. :D
     
  2. That's a very old joke…

    I first heard it done by John Fortune & Eleanor Bron in a programme called "Where Was Spring?"

    John Fortune (sings to EB):

    "You say potato and I say potato…
    You say tomato and I say potato…
    potato… potato…
    tomato… tomato…

    (stops singing)

    You know I can see absolutely nothing wrong with this relationship…"

    I wonder if the auditionee did this on purpose?

    - Wil

    PS: Great signature! ;)
     
  3. Ben Rose

    Ben Rose

    Jan 12, 2004
    Oakland
    Yeah. I wondered that too, but she sang the whole song that way.

    OMG.. Did I steal your signature? Wasn't intentional. :meh:
     
  4. Ben Rose

    Ben Rose

    Jan 12, 2004
    Oakland
    There...that's better.
     
  5. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Hey, Pho, just move to Hawaii. We don't do no steenkin' Daylight Savings Time out here.
     
  6. Ben Rose

    Ben Rose

    Jan 12, 2004
    Oakland
    Tempting. My sister-in-law lives in Lihue. And Hawaii does a much nicer climate than Arizona.
     
  7. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Lucky sis...Kauai is amazing. No wonder everyone in Hollywood wants to shoot their flicks there.

    The best saimin shop on the planet, Hamura's Saimin, is in Lihue. Usually you'll find musicians there after hours, they stay open nice and late.
     
  8. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    PHOBE, if DST is bringing you down and you can't do Hawaii, there's always Saskatchewan.

    Say it: "there's always Saskatchewan".
     
  9. Ben Rose

    Ben Rose

    Jan 12, 2004
    Oakland
    Marcus,

    What's saimin?


    Demon,

    "there's always Saskatchewan".."there's always Saskatchewan".."there's always Saskatchewan".."there's always Saskwach"..doh

    Not working yet, I'll keep trying.
     
  10. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
  11. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    NYC
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    This is a story related to me by Jim Ferguson -

    They're doing a house rhythm section open mic for singers and a woman comes up and wants to do OVER THE RAINBOW. She doesn't know what key, so they take a second and get that sorted out and count it off.

    "Some....where," Only she doesn't make the octave, she sings it as a major 7. But treats the rest of the melody as if she had ie modulates down a half step. AND PROCEEDS TO DO THAT EVERY "A" SECTION.

    Jim said that by the time they got to the last A section (after head in and solos and the head coming out) she had modulated the tune out of her range.
     
  12. Reminds me of the old joke where the bandleader tells the singer, "Now on this tune, I'd like you to sing bar 15 in 7/8 time, modulate up a minor 2nd at the bridge, enter 13-and-a-half bars into the tenor solo and end on a flatted 5th."

    "I can't do all that!" gasps the singer.

    "Why not?" inquires the leader. "You did last night."
     
  13. Ben Rose

    Ben Rose

    Jan 12, 2004
    Oakland
  14. Monte

    Monte

    Jan 9, 2001
    New Albany, MS
    Pho is awesome. There are literally over a dozen Pho houses within 2 miles of me, due to the large Vietnamese community in OKC. It is comfort food for me in the winter.

    Monte
     
  15. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    NYC
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    It's my understanding that a lot of Southern cities are offering an inauthentic version fairly cheaply, if purchased for groups of diners.

    In fact, driving through Atlanta I saw a billboard that said


    FAUX PHO FO FOA, ONLY $4
     
  16. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Similar to Pho, just more stuff in it, in true Hawaiian style. Kind of a "Mo' Pho"..... :meh:

    My fave is the Wonton Saimin, preferably in a bowl the size of a basketball.

    Since this thread has wandered so far from it's original gist (no thanks to me, as usual), any fans of shabu shabu out there? The Japanese soup that you cook yourself at the table? That is the Cadillac of noodle soups. It's more like an event. I have some concerts next spring in Japan; you know I'm heading to the shabu shabu house!
     
  17. What a wonderful site this is!!
    I'm on my way to the store, even as we speak! I've been in a food rut for many months now without knowing about it.
    Anyway, after reading all this stuff on oriental syle noodles and looking at some of the recipes on these links...I think i'm OUT of my rut.....
     
  18. Ben Rose

    Ben Rose

    Jan 12, 2004
    Oakland
    Yeah...after all of these food posts I had to grab a bucket of Pho yesterday. It was delicious.
     
  19. PhatBasstard

    PhatBasstard Spector Dissector Supporting Member

    Feb 3, 2002
    Las Vegas, NV.
    Years ago (early 90s) I'm playing a show with The Coasters at the (dearly imploded) Sands casino. Now the Sands was the home of the Rat Pack back in the day so when one of the regulars, an old timer that claimed to have known and sang with Sinatra (one of the Coasters backed him up on this) asked to come up and sing some "Frank" we figured OK, no problem.

    So the Coasters introduce him, we decide on the Sinatra tune he wants to sing, and off we go................

    First, he has NO timing whatsoever (totally lost). As if that wasn't bad enough, he "sings" in a gruff, atonal voice that is totally devoid of pitch.
    The audience is starting to laugh, but we're way ahead of them as we've already got tears running down our face when the guy, seeing the audience's reaction turns to the band, and in all seriousness says:
    "Uh....this mic is really off" (as if the mic was out-of-tune).

    We had to stop playing we were laughing/crying so hard.:D :D :D
     
  20. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Hah! Once, at the Four Seasons Wailea, the room manager of the club asked us to let this inebriated young babe sit in at the piano, saying "she can play". The drummer (Mike Buono, again) and I waited for her to kick off a tune, but she proceeded to just stomp down on the sustain pedal like she was driving an eighteen wheeler, and loudly tear off a whole bunch of discordant arpeggios, all the while muttering how she wasn't used to this particular piano. Finally, she uttered one of my favorite lines ever, and I quote;

    "What chord is this piano in?"

    I just turned to the manager and said "See ya in twenty minutes...enjoy!" and Mike and I split, laughing all the way. A classic example of a manager thinking with his "other head".