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What Is The Craziest Thing You've Ever Experienced?

I can't top the first few posts in this thread, but one of the most disturbing things I've experienced was being on a jury in a murder trial. The victim had been severely beaten with a big metal flashlight, raped, and then strangled. The coroner was on the witness stand for a whole day showing photos of the body and all the injuries, including the ones showing that she had been raped.

I've also lived through the Rodney King riots in '92, the Northridge earthquake in '94, hurricane Wilma in '05, and DC's sowmageddon in '10.
 
A little over two years ago I had a mitral valve repair, a quadruple bypass, a maze procedure and a pacemaker installed. After the surgery the had me highly sedated. The second day I could hear everyone in the room but I could not see, speak or move. My wife told me I made some really weird faces and twitched. I thought I was dead and was trying to tell them I wasn't. Freakiest experience ever. I still think about it every so often.

Surgery sucks. I have 2 stories about that.

I had a mitral valve repair a few years back.
I had that same thing for a while after surgery where I couldnt move, talk or interact but could hear everyone else... freaky..
The worst part of it was coming to shortly afterwards, while still intubated.. I have a killer gag reflex, the kind that causes issues at a normal dentist visit... to have your mouth locked open and with tubes and all sorts of stuff going down your throat and to be completely awake and being told to try not to gag or talk as it can damage your larynx...sucks.

Then there was a hernia repair many years ago. They sedated me pretty heavily and gave me some sort of local anesthesia that..... didnt work....:help: So I'm laying on the table, unable to move or speak, while I'm feeling the doc cutting, and slicing my nether regions. After what seemed like an eternity somebody finally notices that my eyes are wide open and I'm trying to scream... oops
 
Was not in Pakistan when there were no US troops involved in the conflict between the USSR and Afghanistan, not teaching small unit ambush and assault tactics. Our CIA handler was not a bat s&!t crazy former gyrene officer from Tejas or Oklahoma, depending on what day it was and how much Jim Beam he had under his belt at the time he was telling you for the umteenth time how folks in Tejas (or Okie) didn't give a damn how they do it in California, out here you do it my way or I rip off your head and s&!t down your neck. One guy said he didn't get it, the guy drank all the time but you never saw him drunk. I told him nope you never saw him sober, but I'm straying from the point.

LSS one day we captured a couple Russian regulars while not running a training operation across the border in Afghanistan. We had orders to not take any prisoners but when the ambush went down these guys jumped off one of the trucks and threw their hands up so the boss said f@(K it, turn 'em over to the spooks and let them sort it out. We get back across the border and take these two cods to our handler. He starts cussing about all the paperwork and ass chewings and on and on and on, then just like that he drew his Hipower and popped both of them in the face so quick the second guy didn't have time to react before both of them were in a heap on the ground. Cowboy is wiping the glop off his piece and face like it's nothing, then he turns to us and says "Next time you s%!tbirds pull some grabastic s$!t like this it'll be YOU turned into fertilizer."
 
Was not in Pakistan when there were no US troops involved in the conflict between the USSR and Afghanistan, not teaching small unit ambush and assault tactics. Our CIA handler was not a bat s&!t crazy former gyrene officer from Tejas or Oklahoma, depending on what day it was and how much Jim Beam he had under his belt at the time he was telling you for the umteenth time how folks in Tejas (or Okie) didn't give a damn how they do it in California, out here you do it my way or I rip off your head and s&!t down your neck. One guy said he didn't get it, the guy drank all the time but you never saw him drunk. I told him nope you never saw him sober, but I'm straying from the point.

LSS one day we captured a couple Russian regulars while not running a training operation across the border in Afghanistan. We had orders to not take any prisoners but when the ambush went down these guys jumped off one of the trucks and threw their hands up so the boss said f@(K it, turn 'em over to the spooks and let them sort it out. We get back across the border and take these two cods to our handler. He starts cussing about all the paperwork and ass chewings and on and on and on, then just like that he drew his Hipower and popped both of them in the face so quick the second guy didn't have time to react before both of them were in a heap on the ground. Cowboy is wiping the glop off his piece and face like it's nothing, then he turns to us and says "Next time you s%!tbirds pull some grabastic s$!t like this it'll be YOU turned into fertilizer."

Sounds like terrorism to me!
 
Was not in Pakistan when there were no US troops involved in the conflict between the USSR and Afghanistan, not teaching small unit ambush and assault tactics. Our CIA handler was not a bat s&!t crazy former gyrene officer from Tejas or Oklahoma, depending on what day it was and how much Jim Beam he had under his belt at the time he was telling you for the umteenth time how folks in Tejas (or Okie) didn't give a damn how they do it in California, out here you do it my way or I rip off your head and s&!t down your neck. One guy said he didn't get it, the guy drank all the time but you never saw him drunk. I told him nope you never saw him sober, but I'm straying from the point.

LSS one day we captured a couple Russian regulars while not running a training operation across the border in Afghanistan. We had orders to not take any prisoners but when the ambush went down these guys jumped off one of the trucks and threw their hands up so the boss said f@(K it, turn 'em over to the spooks and let them sort it out. We get back across the border and take these two cods to our handler. He starts cussing about all the paperwork and ass chewings and on and on and on, then just like that he drew his Hipower and popped both of them in the face so quick the second guy didn't have time to react before both of them were in a heap on the ground. Cowboy is wiping the glop off his piece and face like it's nothing, then he turns to us and says "Next time you s%!tbirds pull some grabastic s$!t like this it'll be YOU turned into fertilizer."

Good thing you weren't there!
 
Here's my crazy story:

When I was a freshman in high school, my best friend (we'll call him Randy) called me around 9:30 at night, asking if he could spend the night. Of course my parents said no.

He apparently went to another friends house for the night.

The next day, he shows up at school. We're all hanging outside in the smoking area (yeah, I'm old) when Randy showed up.

He starts telling us that the night before, there was a fire in his house. We all laugh and make jokes about how he was freebasing dynamite. Even Randy laughed.

Then it got crazy. Third period, we hear him called to the office, where the police took him into custody.

Apparently his mom (no dad in the picture) was really abusive, and This particular night, Randy had enough.

He tied up his mom and his 3 year old sister, lit the place on fire and walked away. Spent the night at a friend's house and went to school the next day like nothing had happened. Murdered his whole family and then came to school and joked about it.

I was 15 when I lost my faith in humanity.

We never saw him again.
 
Mid 80's was traveling the Baltimore beltway when I noticed a motorcyclist sitting on his bike on the shoulder 3 feet from traffic traveling in the fast lane. I remember thinking... that doesn't look safe. No sooner had that thought left my head when a box truck blocks my view of him and I then see bike and clothes go flying in the air. He was still sliding to a stop when I pulled up next to him in the median. He had been knocked completely out of his clothes. I covered him with a coat I had in the trunk of the car. Truck driver was running back in shock. I told him to go back to his truck and wait for the police. He never knew what hit him.
 
My father was a construction employee for a utility company. He worked in real remote places that had Hydro Electric Powerhouses.
When I was 10, he took me, my 13 yr old sister and my mom to stay a couple weeks at a small encampment near one of these hydro plants. A few small cabins that the utility company let employees stay in while they worked.

On day, my sister, me and two other kids with a german shepard went hiking. We came up on a pond. Maybe 100' in diameter. Lying next to the pond was a partially eaten horse. It looked liked it had been dragged there.

The dog starts going into the water. When he is in about up to his chest, he stops and begins to growl.
We all look out towards the direction the dog is growling and this giant head emerges from the middle of the pond.
Then this thing comes up high enough for it's shoulders to show. It is at least three times the size of a man.

The dogs starts back-peddling and we start screaming and haul ass out of there. We get back to the cabin and hysterically tell my mom the story. Shes says that my dad, when he gets back from work will go check it out.

Later, he goes with my sister and I and when we get to the pond.... no dead horse. Nothing. My dad took his rifle with him but nothing found.
 
I had a couple experiences to offer, but this seems to have turned into the best "I saw a dead person" thread, so I'm out. No experience there.

-Mike

Or it could just be that for a lot of us our craziest experiences involved someones death.
Im certainly interested in hearing your crazy experiences, Mike!

Here's one not involving death:

SO, Im young and stupid and a bunch of friends decide to go to a club in Hollywood. I was probably 18 or 19 and quite reckless. My friend attempts to get into the club with his older brothers ID so that he can buy drinks (its worked plenty of times in the past). However, he gets stopped at the door, because the ID has expired. We go to the car to get his real ID, but he gets turned away again when they realize he was just here with a different ID. Since our friends had already paid and gotten into the club we decide to walk around Hollywood for a while. At some point we enounter a seemingly homeless man who asks us if we toke. We probably should have left then, but being young and dumb with want of something to do we say 'Of Course'. So, we follow the guy around a corner into some storefront where he pulls out a crackpipe. My friend and I look at each other with a WTH expression and begin trying to make our exist. Thats when the homeless guy starts yelling "SNAKES! IM SEEING SNAKES" and starts getting fidgety. Now we're really trying to get out of there when a homeless woman rounds the corner. The man asks us if we'd like to join the two of them and we're really trying to leave. Thats when the woman begins undressing in the middle of the street. Top off. Pants down. Arms in the air. In the middle of the street. Thats when we bolted like lightning. To In N Out.
 
I am an electrician. In May of '06, I had some work to do at a regular customer's house. We did a lot of stuff at his house, and we'd work on the houses he flipped (pre housing bubble). He has a house on a small finger of an inlet with about 250' of bulkhead. He's got multiple boats and various watercraft. All of his a/c and pool equipment, in addition to his dock electrical panel, are located on one particular side of his house. He had a brick wall built to hide these items, but for some reason, the masons stopped the wall 3' short of including the dock subpanel. I had to move it. No problem. Believe it or not, it took all day. It was almost 100 degrees, which made it pretty miserable. Hooked everything back up and went down to the docks to test. I'm walking along the dock, which stretches the length of the bulkhead, and I see something in the water near the boatlift. I'm watching as I'm walking, and it kind of looks like a giant sock puppet. My eyes are fixed on this object. When I get to about 20' away, I realized it was a dead man. Apparently, he floated in with the tide and his foot got hooked on the lift. I stopped and looked around, almost expecting someone to jump out of a bush with a camera saying "We got you!" He was fizzing. His flesh was stringing away from his body, and sea life was eating him. Naturally, I call 911. I told her I found a floater. She didn't believe he was dead. I told her he was. She's getting short with me, and I'm barely keeping it together. She responded, "How do you know? Are you a doctor? Have you been trained in emergency healthcare?" "No. He's dead. He's floating face down in the water, and animals are eating him. He's dead!" The operator wants to know my location. I told her I didn't exactly know. It was someplace I was familiar with but didn't know the address. Eventually, the police showed up. I ended up having 5 officers/detectives ask me the exact same questions. Fortunately, a neighbor had a boat ramp in his backyard and that was how they pulled him out, surrounded by media. All of the reporters wanted to speak with me, but I wanted no part of it. The police let me slide out, avoiding them all. Watching the news, they said he was found fully clothed by an unidentified electrician. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt turned inside out, a pair of pajama pants, and socks. I'd hardly call that fully clothed. It looked a boat or two ran over him. He also appeared to have two puncture wounds that looked like slits in the back of his head, left side, right about where the skull and neck meet. I instantly thought "meat fork". Never found out who it was or how he died. Part of me wants to know, another part doesn't. What a tough day.


A man is out hunting with his friend and accidental shoots him. He call a doc on the cell phone and screams I shoot my friend and I think he's dead.

The doc says whoa, first let's make sure he's dead.

Blam Blam Blam.

OK doc, I'm sure he's dead. What now
 
I'm hiking in an altered state in one of many forests around NJ. I came upon a man who who burned and quite possible drunk.

He's looking for something, His hatchet. That he threw at his friend who ignited him. Amazed I heard more of the tale of Burnt Bob, which was the name he gave me before heading to saner pastures.

I have a witness.
 
In and Out. Perhaps the best hamburger chain. A rather short chain. If you ever get near one and like burgers try it out.


Or it could just be that for a lot of us our craziest experiences involved someones death.
Im certainly interested in hearing your crazy experiences, Mike!

Here's one not involving death:

SO, Im young and stupid and a bunch of friends decide to go to a club in Hollywood. I was probably 18 or 19 and quite reckless. My friend attempts to get into the club with his older brothers ID so that he can buy drinks (its worked plenty of times in the past). However, he gets stopped at the door, because the ID has expired. We go to the car to get his real ID, but he gets turned away again when they realize he was just here with a different ID. Since our friends had already paid and gotten into the club we decide to walk around Hollywood for a while. At some point we enounter a seemingly homeless man who asks us if we toke. We probably should have left then, but being young and dumb with want of something to do we say 'Of Course'. So, we follow the guy around a corner into some storefront where he pulls out a crackpipe. My friend and I look at each other with a WTH expression and begin trying to make our exist. Thats when the homeless guy starts yelling "SNAKES! IM SEEING SNAKES" and starts getting fidgety. Now we're really trying to get out of there when a homeless woman rounds the corner. The man asks us if we'd like to join the two of them and we're really trying to leave. Thats when the woman begins undressing in the middle of the street. Top off. Pants down. Arms in the air. In the middle of the street. Thats when we bolted like lightning. To In N Out.
 

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