What makes someone think they're a vocalist?

[Joebarnes]

So, my band has been going through everyone's favorite challenge: replacing our vocalist.

The last one was a decent singer but high on the crazy scale. She told us that her boyfriend was locking her out of the house so she had to sleep under the porch and various other outlandish stories. And then one day, she moved an hour away from the rehearsal spot. Considering she didn't drive, a problem.... now she's completely left the city and moved to an island. Of course, we had given up on her when she moved the hour away.

So, that has left us with the now seemingly monumental task of locating a singer. So far we have had:

1. a guy who yelled (yes yelled, not screamo or anything) into the mic for an hour

2. a girl who wanted us to grunt backing vocals to one of her songs (yes, grunt. not sing)

3. a girl who could sing in Spanish beautifully but you couldn't understand a thing she said in english

and two of the most monotone guy singers I have ever heard, one just bland, and the other bland and couldn't hit a key.

So, what I would like to know is what makes someone think they can sing and front a band? We talk to them and ask if they have experience and links, and they pretty much all do, and when they get out, they suck. And our expectations are really NOT that high.

So far out of 5 people, we have had only 1 that actually owned their own mic and stand. What the heck is that? Sure, we have our own mics and stands and PA setup, but I really don't want everybody drooling over my mic if I can avoid it.

We have given each of them 2 of our (originals only) songs on mp3's with lyrics and asked them to learn the songs. Not memorize them, but know them well enough to sing with the band. Not a one of them could make it through one of the songs without a lot of coaching from us.

What is everyone's experience and suggestions to avoid this? We have been connecting with people from various locations; craigslist, open mic's, karaoke nights, referrals from friends bands, so we're doing our legwork here.

I know people are going to say "do it yourself", but the guitarist can't sing and play at the same time, and I'm very "pitchy, dawg", so not really an option.

 

[Dantreige]

I know people are going to say "do it yourself", but the guitarist can't sing and play at the same time, and I'm very "pitchy, dawg", so not really an option.

I could not sing and play when I started either. I learned. Here is your answer: Do it yourself.

 

[GlennW]

Alcohol

 

[MattZilla]

I could not sing and play when I started either. I learned. Here is your answer: Do it yourself.

+2

Les Claypool took this advice and look at him now! He ain't Jack Bruce but he gets paid!

 

[SactoBass]

Joe:

We went through the same thing when we were searching for a lead singer. O----------M----------G. We had no idea there were so many human beasts who could not sing. Not only could they not sing, but they actually hurt your ears when they opened their face hole.

It took tremendous patience on our part, and, after about a year of auditions, we finally found a person who could sing half way decent.

Btw, we were primarily using the Craigslist cesspool for our advertising to find a singer. That probably explains why we got so many under-evolved neanderthals.

 

[Moe Monsarrat]

What made me think I'm a vocalist? I got paid (and laid).

 

[hrodbert696]

Oh, come on! Everybody knows that if you really really just BELIEVE, you can DO it! Don't bother studying or practicing or anything, just BELIEVE!

:/

Actually, of the crew you listed, I would go with Spanish girl. So she's got a thick accent. You can figure that out. If she can sing, she can sing.

 

[two fingers]

All you have to do is watch American Idol or X Factor (or some other reality talent show) for about 10 minutes at the beginning of the season to see that there are TONS of delusional people out there.

The people themselves aren't the ones who bother me. The ones who bother me are their FRIENDS and FAMILY. Why would you LIE to someone and TELL them that they sound amazing...... when they SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!

Friends don't let friends sing when they can't.

So, I think part of the problem is this tendency we have to try and protect the fragile psyches of people we love. But in the long run I think we do them as disservice.

Somebody TOLD those poor bastards then can sing. And that is the real crime.

 

[johnpbass]

Applause at Karaoke night

 

[nojj]

What makes someone think they're a vocalist?

Delusions of grandeur

 

[agreatheight]

What makes you think you can play bass?

 

[tubenutq5]

American Idol and X-Factor. Pitiful.....

 

[remainthesame]

go with the spanish girl. music is a universal language. you might have problem communicating but at least youll have a great singer.

 

[MonetBass]

I blame their tone-deaf friends and family telling them on a regular basis "You're so good! You should perform!" Uh, no.

 

[two fingers]

I blame their tone-deaf friends and family telling them on a regular basis "You're so good! You should perform!" Uh, no.

My point exactly.

 

[AuntieBeeb]

I blame their tone-deaf friends and family telling them on a regular basis "You're so good! You should perform!" Uh, no.

I, for one, am grateful that my family told me when I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. It probably spared me a lot of embarrassment when I was younger.

 

[eukatheude]

go with the spanish girl. music is a universal language. you might have problem communicating but at least youll have a great singer.

+1

 

[Chromer]

Seems like the common factor is your band?

(Oh relax, this is the Humor forum.)

There are a lot of strange cases out there, for sure.

 

[hdracer]

I blame their tone-deaf friends and family telling them on a regular basis "You're so good! You should perform!" Uh, no.

There are plenty of singers that have made it big that can not sing.

Bob Dylan , Tom Petty, Geddy Lee,Yoko Ono,Linda McCartney, Kurt Cobain, Neal Young,Eddie Vedder, Iggy Pop, Dick Dale,Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson all told them that anyone can make big as a singer.

 

[bluesblaster]

I had to do it out of nescesity, I never really pined to be a vocalist, still learning as I go along. I think as long as you can sing mostly on pitch and do it with feeling you can get by.