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What to do when your lead singer complains

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It kind of seems like you are doing everything you should be doing. The singer is not happy with things, and you are taking his feelings into consideration, and are trying to compromise to make him more comfortable. At the same time, you are the songwriter, partially by design, but primarily out of necessity. As a result you have to be considering the integrity of the music. It is a balancing act, and no one ever said bands and writing music for bands was supposed to be easy. I think you should continue to do what you're doing. Listen and talk with your bandmates, take their desires and capabilities into consideration, but also remain true to yourself, and the music. The fact that you are concerned and asking for feedback speaks well for your actions.
 
Your vocalist needs to listen to other types of music and focus upon the old school Ska and Punk Rock...not HC or "punk," but punk rock. Even just some straight-up reggae Bob and Yellow Man are great starters.
Fishbone, old Faith No More with the late Chuck Moseley on vocals.
Consider recommending punk compilation albums; usually different styles in/on one volume. Consider pre-2000 release years. One new band to have them listen to is "The Chats" from Austrailia. New band, old school vibe. Or even "Wonk Unit" out of UK.
First time vocalists, regardless of genre, are always nervous/uncertain and will typically gravitate to what is familiar, as we all can do.
I really don't think one's sexual prowess has anything to do with it. Re: Straight edgers.
PunX nOt deAd.
 
Didn't read past page 1, so apologies to any missed updates or duplication of input ....

1. If this is your project you can do whatever you want when the LS complains - listen, ignore, tell him to pound sand, take away his mic, fire him, etc ... All of these options have consequences of course.
2. Just because the LS has no prior band experience doesn't mean he doesn't have an ear or other practical awareness of how things "should" sound. I agree that I'd be wary about his/her opinions, but everybody has to get into their first band sometime and prior band experience does not necessarily make someone's knowledge or opinions more or less valuable.
3. It is possible for your bass line to be to intrusive to vocal and other players, and I don't just mean too loud. I don't get the "not fair" statement, but you could be overplaying and dominating the sonic space, which for most people, is not really pleasant to listen to. I'm not a SKA guy at all, but from what little I've heard it's a very "busy" genre - so it seems hard to believe you could be too busy - maybe your LS is just not that familiar with SKA? Without samples, it's impossible for any of us to provide feedback on the viability of the LS's complaint.

In your shoes, I'd be inclined to record a song or two that the LS is complaining about. After rehearsal, instruments down and off, you listen to it together and talk about it as a group with egos in the other room. Listen to the whole package, not just your individual parts. Is it something you would want to listen to? Collectively and objectively, decide if you all like what you hear and figure out what would improve it if you don't. If you can't agree on some acceptable solution (if one is needed), then perhaps you're not all in the right band. you should all have a collective agreement about what sounds "good".

Your story sounds pretty "young", and if that is true, then welcome to the world of bands. There is always going to be someone who's not happy with something and the politics will ensue.
 
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for a little bit of background information, he likes the new generation party ska punk and pop country whereas i listen to older generations rocksteady ska & 2tone.

If the band can figure out how to split the difference, then so much the better. It may also be a matter of being too prominent in the mix for him to deal with. That's his problem and your problem to solve together.
Also he is a virgin and i get all the chicks, is that a factor?
Um, you are the bass player. This statement cannot be true.