What to do with lead singer?

[KPAX]

Nobody here can tell you what to do or offer much advice.
There are many different ways a successful band can operate. What works in one band may not work in another.
You have to be honest with yourself and find what works with your band-mates. That could mean replacing some members but a singer is a MAJOR component.

 

[Dkerwood]

Hmmm... I wonder if he's not a little worried about what the band is snowballing into. After all, besides the booked gigs, you're looking at a soundtrack deal, a sponsorship (which carries with it WAY more gigs- I'd be shocked if it was much less than 50 a year)...

He signed on because he liked to play music but it still lives in "hobby-ville" for him. Nothing inherently wrong with that. You've gotten a taste of success and now wonder where that might eventually lead. You're worried that losing momentum here might result in 40 years of wondering what might have been.

From what you've said here, I think you all need to evaluate what's going on. Friction between you and your wife, the drummer and his wife? Is a bit of success worth the strain on your marriage? Please realize that you've already accomplished more than most of us have ever done.

That said, I don't think you're pushing too hard on the "1 a month" rule. Some gigs fall from the sky, and you don't turn them down. I do think that you need to work HARD to confirm gigs with your bandmates before confirming with the venue. I can't imagine that you would ever have trouble contacting your bandmates within 12 hours of any gig offer, max. What kind of opportunity needs a "confirm this second" answer?

People don't like to feel like their lives are out of their control. The singer just got married? Then he's having to adjust to sharing control of his life with his new bride. And now he's feeling pressure to play out a little more than he thought he signed on for- his life is even more out of control. Who would blame him for trying to regain some of that control? I suspect when he said "once a month," he probably meant 6-8 gigs a year (in my experience, most people don't literally mean once every calendar month- it's just easier to say than "once a quarter" or the like).

Bottom line is this- you guys need to rectify your desire for success versus his desire for control and balance that against healthy home lives. The band is supposed to be fun. If you're not happy in the studio and he's not happy on stage, then you may need to change the situation. FWIW, I do like the idea of having him be the non-performing member of the band. Bring on a fourth guy to sing and play guitar live, and then you guys can be a four piece in the studio and on certain shows.

Best of luck!

 

[Eilif]

I feel if we play out or not- we're a band. I am committed to playing music with a couple of friends- for me that is a band.

That sounds like a pretty clear indication that you are on different pages.

Also, you mention that your wife is starting to get annoyed at your mid-life crisis. You might be better advised to take care of business at home rather than trying to up your band's profile.

One last thing. When we get a gig offer everyone gets consulted before the singer/leader says yes. Once in a great while, we'll get a sub if it's an important gig, but it's not that hard to tell the booker to give you some time and to call or email all the members of your band. Getting a good gig is not worth stepping on the toes of your bandmates, and definitely not worth the embarassment of possibly having to back out of a gig.

I understand your excitement and desire to keep the band going, and the importance of striking while the iron is hot. However, it sounds like you have different expectations than those of your singer and your wife, and you can't force either of them to get on board with your plan.

 

[Snakeman1066]

"One last thing. When we get a gig offer everyone gets consulted before the singer/leader says yes. Once in a great while, we'll get a sub if it's an important gig, but it's not that hard to tell the booker to give you some time and to call or email all the members of your band. Getting a good gig is not worth stepping on the toes of your bandmates, and definitely not worth the embarassment of possibly having to back out of a gig"

While i agree....we only have a small number of venue's here that support original bands and sometimes they need an answer on the spot or they will ask somebody else....two of the shows in question were booked this way the others were agreed to before hand....


figured i would chime back in on the discussion...

the drummer has picked up a Pintech endorsement.....i am in the process of possibly accepting and endorsement (Details to follow).....we are headed into the studio to record said song for the soundtrack to the horror movie in November....production company is paying for the studio time....

we rented a practice space more central to everyone...which has me weirded out just a bit (as until now we have been set up at my house in a extra room )

we are playing the dates i booked plus one added date....then we are taking most of November and all of December off to record and finsih off the 4 songs we have in the pot...and spend time with family....

the sponsor has already told us that we will have to attend a minimum of 24 sponsored shows in our region next year....which will require us to travel to points in Ok. La. and Tx.....starting with a new years eve show....and we all agreed to this in writing....

singer apoligized for (as he called it a knee jerk reaction) to us getting too busy....i think he simply lost it for a second....new wife, new job, new band, lots of responsibility all at once....I just turned forty my clock is ticking....I can't help it!

we also bought a used Reaper computer based work station from a local studio who has recently upgraded....the plan is to record the 8 original songs we have now plus the new 4 and then cut it down to 10 for a self titled release on our own label....with the possibilty of bonus tracks

we just sent out an order for t-shirts, decals, can and bottle cozy's and various and assorted swag.

i think things have worked themselves out....but only time will tell

we are opening for a signed national act saturday night on the 5th....so wish us luck...

i will keep everyone updated

 

[xgator4u]

OUTSTANDING!!! What is the name of your band?

 

[JustDavid]

Great!!!!