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What would you do?

dbase

dbase

Supporting Member
Jan 3, 2008
8,228
28,212
South Jersey, USA..
#1
Three piece band I'm in got a gig request at a local VFW for a surprise b-day party for an 85 yr old vet. My two guitar players are vets also. I said sure, the other guitar player said absolutely but the third said he's not so sure.. I said.. If its because the gig is a one hour drive, you can go with me and save gas. (he's a cheapskate) He said "It's not the money, I just don't want to be put out".. What does that mean? Put out. We like to play when we can so here's a chance to play for a new crowd and we would be doing an old man a nice favor. I called him again to ask if he finally made up his mind and I would drive him but he has not returned my calls. At this point I'm thinking, **** it... I quit.
I give our business cards out so we might get to play occasionally.. we don't charge money, we do a one hour gig for fun. Being the BL is a pain in the ass... too much drama keeping everyone on board.
What would you do?
 
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#3
I would play the gig without him. If you're playing for fun, and there's no money in it, I don't see a problem with him not coming out. Two guitars should be enough.
I wouldn't quit the band because of it. To me, playing for free is an optional thing.
Make the most of it, and kudos for supporting our vets. Those guys have done much more for us than we could ever do for them.
 
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#4
If there was ever a reason to play a show for no pay, this is it. Good on you guys for wanting to do this. Sounds like there is something else bugging your guitar player on this one. May be worth a sit down to see where he sees himself in this group. Not sure of your instrumentation, but I would consider trying to go without him too. Since it is an hour set, you may be able to cherry pick your set list so the missing member is not noticed too much.

Good Luck OP!
 
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#10
You either play the gig without him or don't play at all. When you're accepting charity gigs the WHOLE band needs to be on board. What would I do? I'd start looking for his replacement now ... that silent treatment he gave you indicates to me that he might be as done with you (the band) as you are with him. Because if it were me in his shoes being pressure to play a freebie when I'd already clearly said "no" ... I'd be done with you, too.
 
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#12
PS_0037_PUT_OUT_REV_COLOR.jpg
 
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#13
dbase said:
Three piece band I'm in got a gig request at a local VFW for a surprise b-day party for an 85 yr old vet. My two guitar players are vets also. I said sure, the other guitar player said absolutely but the third said he's not so sure.. I said.. If its because the gig is a one hour drive, you can go with me and save gas. (he's a cheapskate) He said "It's not the money, I just don't want to be put out".. What does that mean? Put out. We like to play when we can so here's a chance to play for a new crowd and we would be doing an old man a nice favor. I called him again to ask if he finally made up his mind and I would drive him but he has not returned my calls. At this point I'm thinking, F#@% it... I quit.
I give our business cards out so we might get to play occasionally.. we don't charge money, we do a one hour gig for fun. Being the BL is a pain in the ass... too much drama keeping everyone on board.
What would you do?
Click to expand...
Network for a local guitarist willing to do the gig :) try bandmix or Cl go to an open mic night they are all playing for the fun, so you are more than half way there.
 
#15
dbase said:
Three piece band I'm in got a gig request at a local VFW for a surprise b-day party for an 85 yr old vet. My two guitar players are vets also. I said sure, the other guitar player said absolutely but the third said he's not so sure.. I said.. If its because the gig is a one hour drive, you can go with me and save gas. (he's a cheapskate) He said "It's not the money, I just don't want to be put out".. What does that mean? Put out. We like to play when we can so here's a chance to play for a new crowd and we would be doing an old man a nice favor. I called him again to ask if he finally made up his mind and I would drive him but he has not returned my calls. At this point I'm thinking, F#@% it... I quit.
I give our business cards out so we might get to play occasionally.. we don't charge money, we do a one hour gig for fun. Being the BL is a pain in the ass... too much drama keeping everyone on board.
What would you do?
Click to expand...
I've played lots of fund raisers---- that does not mean the musicians worked for zero pay. If it's run well, the musicians can get paid a fee less than they typically get and money can be raised for the cause. Raffle prizes are easily gotten for free if people hustle for them and are an excellent source of revenue.
If you sell enough tickets in advance--- buy a decent door prize ($100 or so) and let someone attending the function win it.
Make the admission affordable for vets ($5)---- there are able bodied vets that are more than willing to support their comrades in need.

Yes--- I have done freebies---- hospital and nursing home gigs where the audience can't come to see you.
Also--- food banks, homeless shelters, animal causes.
 
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#17
I'd say do some quick re-arranging on your set list so the songs work with one guitar and bass, and play the gig. If the third guy wants to be a stick in the mud, let him. Why should you suffer?

I play in a five piece, but we've done several "lite" gigs, dropping the drummer and one of the guitarists. (Not because one of our band threw a hissy fit, though. Generally at the request of the venue or because of scheduling issues.)
 
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#18
Slevage said:
I've played lots of fund raisers---- that does not mean the musicians worked for zero pay. If it's run well, the musicians can get paid a fee less than they typically get and money can be raised for the cause. Raffle prizes are easily gotten for free if people hustle for them and are an excellent source of revenue.
If you sell enough tickets in advance--- buy a decent door prize ($100 or so) and let someone attending the function win it.
Make the admission affordable for vets ($5)---- there are able bodied vets that are more than willing to support their comrades in need.

Yes--- I have done freebies---- hospital and nursing home gigs where the audience can't come to see you.
Also--- food banks, homeless shelters, animal causes.
Click to expand...

To me, playing for charity means the band should really not receive any $$. Just my two cents.

my band has played 2 charities this summer with a third scheduled for 9/23. I would never consider accepting payment for this. I think the childrens hospital and womens shelter needs the $$ more than I do.
 
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#19
Is he anti-war in some way? Maybe he thinks that vets have a tendency to glorify war, one way or another, and he doesn't want to deal with it. Or, maybe the opposite, maybe he's pro-war and doesn't think that vets are supportive enough. Or, maybe he's somewhere in the middle and doesn't want to deal with the feuding sides. Or, maybe it's all just something he'd rather forget.
 

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