Maybe a man who's incredibly insecure.
Yeah I thought someone might misunderstand what I meant here.
Notice I said "a man who's interested in a woman," not "a man who already has a woman." There's a difference; the former faces a real threat that he may not win her posed by other available males, and the latter has only a potential threat based on variable factors specific to his situation, one of which
may be his own emotional insecurities.
No, the real threat that another man might take away what you want
before the beginning of a relationship is just a fact. Until you've bagged a woman that you want, every other man is a potential threat to take her away.
Look at it this way. Say I run a restaurant on the corner, and another eatery opens up right across the street. That restaurant is a
real threat to my profits in that it might take away what I want; customers. That doesn't automatically mean that I'm an insecure person. I might be, but my emotional balance is not
necessarily determined by this, since it's an objective fact (and not a "feeling") that what I want may be taken away from me.
In a way you're right, because
before there is a relationship (even after to a lesser degree), every man's position with a desired woman (and vice-versa) is "incredibly insecure." But that has no bearing on whether those involved are emotionally insecure.
Once a strong, firm relationship is established, there should be little to no threat from other men. I'm not threatened by other men when it comes to my wife, because I know we have a strong relationship.
So let's apply it to the situation at hand. Regardless of the BL's emotional security, if -- IF -- he is "romantically interested" in OP, any other male is a potential threat to take away what he wants. Especially an unattached male sleeping in the same apartment! Does that
automatically mean he is emotionally insecure? No, of course not.
"Feeling" threatened is a different animal, and yes, may be caused by insecurity, or perhaps just a heightened sense of competition. But, that's not what I was talking about.
Which, of course, this band leader definitely could be. Sounds like it.
No argument there.
