Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
When Harry Met Sally
- Thread starter disenchant
- Start date
it's not always true
first of all you have to realise that men are genetically programmed to mate with as many fertile females as they possibly can... I could personally mate with hundreds per year if the opportunity arose without ever wanting anything else from the interaction... it's because we can produce zillions of sperm and there's effectively an endless supply...
so we're not evolutionarily designed to make fantastic choices over who we sleep with... any woman is frequently better than no woman at all
(compare that to women who have to make far more careful mating choices as they have alimited number of eggs during a relatively short fertile period and are potentially stuck with offspring as a result)
so when you hear that men often would like to have sex with their female friends, it's only a result of the fact that men would like to have sex with 95% of the women of childbearing age on the planet anyway
I have some female friends I would refuse to have sex with, but that's because they're fat, ugly or because i've already had sex with them
I can be friends with women but I've usually said to myself "I'd hit it" or "I wouldn't hit it" by that point.
You mean the ones that are always in a great mood and always approve of everything you do and allow you to hang out with the guys without having to check in every 15 mins and think it's awesome when you fart/burp out loud and love the way you look in you fav pair of old nasty jeans and can listen to you banter on incessantly about music and bass guitars and who are always in the mood for wanton sex and who somehow manage to look incredibly pretty while also maintaining a hot bod? Oh and they never cut their hair short. Those ones you mean? yeah me too
Guys don't really want that. That's me, and I can't get a guy to stay with me to save my life.
*burp*
It's 100% true.
I know a woman who just didn't believe this no matter how many times I told her. The first time that one of her male friends made a move on her, she hesitated to tell me because she thought I might say "told you so". The second time, when a male friend made a pass, she wondered if I might be right. The third time it happened (with a 3rd "friend") she finally started to believe me. I said "told you so".
Male friend = a guy who wants to have sex with you. He may or may not ever make his move. It's the guys that never muster the courage to make a move that make women believe that there are guys that just want to be friends - but even those guys want sex, they just don't know how to go about getting it (and that's why they go around making "friends" with women)
I know a woman who just didn't believe this no matter how many times I told her. The first time that one of her male friends made a move on her, she hesitated to tell me because she thought I might say "told you so". The second time, when a male friend made a pass, she wondered if I might be right. The third time it happened (with a 3rd "friend") she finally started to believe me. I said "told you so".
Male friend = a guy who wants to have sex with you. He may or may not ever make his move. It's the guys that never muster the courage to make a move that make women believe that there are guys that just want to be friends - but even those guys want sex, they just don't know how to go about getting it (and that's why they go around making "friends" with women)
I'm serious. I'm not going to say I'm all hot and stuff, but I don't think I'm butt ugly. And I seriously don't care if my BF goes out with his buddies or whatever. And I think burping and farting are funny, although I don't appreciate Dutch Ovens. And the guy I was seeing was a bassist, and he talked for hours about his band, his bass, computers, stock trading, etc. I found it all interesting. And I was always up for getting it on. So, if that's what guys want...WHY THE HELL DID HE BREAK UP WITH ME??
haha, who said I was kidding?
IL is a long ways from Buffalo, but if you can make it I'm sure something will be going on.
IL is a long ways from Buffalo, but if you can make it I'm sure something will be going on.
Did you have sex with him? If so, he probably felt he "conquered" you so it was time to move on to another woman. He'll keep you in his back pocket in case he is home alone some Saturday night.
-Mike
Go ahead and say your all hot and stuff...most of us (I'm sure) have seen your pic. You've got reason to say it.
Why did he break up with you? Good question. The only thing I can think of is...While men might want to jump every woman we meet (in our minds at least), we can also be incredibly stupid.
I'd say that the answer can be found in the number of page views and replies to the threads that you create.
Thanks, you all make me feel better. It doesn't always matter what you look like on the outside, sometimes we all feel like losers on the inside from time to time.
He's either gay, or maybe your opinion of these women as being "fat" isn't his standard of "fat". The married part really sounds gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). How do the husbands of these women react to this guy?
I'm not saying you attract gay guys, this behavior just sounds gay'ish. Guys can't be "friends" with women - Harry was right on.
What I just typed sounds stupid now that I read it.
But I'm stupid!
That's my wife's favorite movie of all time. Well, in the top 3 or 4, at least. As a result, she has asked me the exact question you did. My answer?
"A guy will categorize any woman he meets as 'Yes, I would' or 'No, not at all' within less than 2 seconds. It falls on a spectrum, though. The closer you are to the 'yes' side of the spectrum, the harder it will be for him to spend any degree of time with you without thinking a LOT about it. You may never know this, though. He could be shy, married and serious about it, or a host of other things that will make his interest a secret for him alone. That doesn't mean he's not thinking about it, just that you'll never know. If you're anywhere on the 'no' side of his spectrum, though, the thought will never again cross his mind."
We're just made that way. That's not an excuse, that's an explanation. If you're startled, you'll flinch. If you see something big rushing at you fast, you'll cower. If you get burned, you'll pull your hand away. For a guy, along with the rest of the set of human reflexes, we have a "yes/no?" reflex wired into that lizard brain at the base of the spine. It's not a bad thing, necessarily: if we didn't, we'd probably spend *all* our time talking about sports and playing bass.
"A guy will categorize any woman he meets as 'Yes, I would' or 'No, not at all' within less than 2 seconds. It falls on a spectrum, though. The closer you are to the 'yes' side of the spectrum, the harder it will be for him to spend any degree of time with you without thinking a LOT about it. You may never know this, though. He could be shy, married and serious about it, or a host of other things that will make his interest a secret for him alone. That doesn't mean he's not thinking about it, just that you'll never know. If you're anywhere on the 'no' side of his spectrum, though, the thought will never again cross his mind."
We're just made that way. That's not an excuse, that's an explanation. If you're startled, you'll flinch. If you see something big rushing at you fast, you'll cower. If you get burned, you'll pull your hand away. For a guy, along with the rest of the set of human reflexes, we have a "yes/no?" reflex wired into that lizard brain at the base of the spine. It's not a bad thing, necessarily: if we didn't, we'd probably spend *all* our time talking about sports and playing bass.
It has nothing to do with how you look (even though I agree with Officer 'Wiz on this one)... when a guy's not wanting to tie himself down, he will manufacture a reason to leave. You can laugh at every fart, watch every bad movie, talk about music and cars and computers, and have sex all day long, and when he sees something else that's nailable, he'll throw all the cool stuff away to bang something else. It's just the way certain guys work... no girl will ever be too cool or sexy enough to leave her.
The trick (and I've tried to console many female friends who've been in the same predicament as you with this) is that you can't beat yourself up over it... you couldn't possibly change his mind, no matter how many... you get the picture. All you can do is chalk it up to a loser who had no idea how good he had it, and move on.
Sucks, doesn't it? Oh well... once you've moved on, he'll be missing you a lot more than you'll miss him.
The trick (and I've tried to console many female friends who've been in the same predicament as you with this) is that you can't beat yourself up over it... you couldn't possibly change his mind, no matter how many... you get the picture. All you can do is chalk it up to a loser who had no idea how good he had it, and move on.
Sucks, doesn't it? Oh well... once you've moved on, he'll be missing you a lot more than you'll miss him.
