+1. The general level of immaturity associated with sex is unbelievable. Good on you Ron.
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WHOHOO!!! I'm sterile!!!
- Thread starter Barfly
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+1. The general level of immaturity associated with sex is unbelievable. Good on you Ron.
It's not always down to responsibility. I had a condom break a while ago. thankfully nothing happened. It seemed to happen to a guy I was in a band with as well on numerous occasions. Accidents happen and those accidents can definitely be dream killers.
Well then in that case it really boils down to what is more important to you. the "dream", or getting some tail.
If the "dream" is more important, don't be doing any boinkin, as the chance of your "unfavorable outcome" will always be there. No contraceptive is 100%, save for a surgical procedure (and sometimes not even then)...so weigh your options against your goals, and roll the dice, if you simply must.
I'm curious to what this elusive ideal "dream life" it is you speak of that a child couldn't help you share, if that were to happen, planned or not.
Just curious. Not trying to ruffle your feathers. Please don't say "rock star". I have two kids and have done 4 tours. Hell, tho not easy, PacMan is on the road or in the air constantly, and constantly rocking out...seems to have a great life. Many other cats out there with kids living "the dream". You can live whatever dream you want and still have kids in the equation.
So again, weigh your options and choose wisely.
If the "dream" is more important, don't be doing any boinkin, as the chance of your "unfavorable outcome" will always be there. No contraceptive is 100%, save for a surgical procedure (and sometimes not even then)...so weigh your options against your goals, and roll the dice, if you simply must.
I'm curious to what this elusive ideal "dream life" it is you speak of that a child couldn't help you share, if that were to happen, planned or not.
Just curious. Not trying to ruffle your feathers. Please don't say "rock star". I have two kids and have done 4 tours. Hell, tho not easy, PacMan is on the road or in the air constantly, and constantly rocking out...seems to have a great life. Many other cats out there with kids living "the dream". You can live whatever dream you want and still have kids in the equation.
So again, weigh your options and choose wisely.
Rakie
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to...
This is for sure the way I plan to go.
I Like kids but they just aren't for me, and I don't see a kid being in my life.
I Like kids but they just aren't for me, and I don't see a kid being in my life.
Rakie
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to...
Sorry, I disagree... If you don't want a kid thats a changed life style that you may not want...
You hit it with the "Willing to take on the challenge" statement..
I don't follow the rules of society, I'm not into the 9-5 job, find a wife and have our two kids and a dog, with a mortgage. Not the life I want at all, thats like death to me. Having two kids would completely ruin what I want to accomplish in my life. With the career i've chosen I wouldn't be around to raise them, and thats not acceptable to me.
Although, I will say I think id be a GREAT father.
Rakie
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to...
I'll give you mine buddy! Well im a recording engineer. I want to spend several years as a tracking engineer, I like mixing and mastering but I really enjoy tracking. I also really enjoy live sound, id love to be the sound engineer and travel for a major act. Some of my instructors have recorded clients all over the world.
If I were to have a child I wouldn't be ready till my late 30's at least...
Rakie, I applaud your thoughts and your commitments, and find them awesome. And people, please realize I'm not up here soapboxing "pro-kids / everyone should have them or you're missing out" shpeil. I'm really not. I love kids. Other don't want them, and that's awesome too... I'd rather a child be loved than resented, you know?
I just chimed in because I found it troubling that kids were viewed with much disdain by some here, when some of those people want their "cake (read: poontang)" without acknowledging the possibility of having to possibly "eat" it(read: father or mother a child)too. You can't have it both ways...you run the risk just about every time, moreso if you're not smart is all I'm saying, and if so, man up and all that....just ask yourself how important it is...
To each their own, and to all a great life. I'm out.
Ron
I just chimed in because I found it troubling that kids were viewed with much disdain by some here, when some of those people want their "cake (read: poontang)" without acknowledging the possibility of having to possibly "eat" it(read: father or mother a child)too. You can't have it both ways...you run the risk just about every time, moreso if you're not smart is all I'm saying, and if so, man up and all that....just ask yourself how important it is...
To each their own, and to all a great life. I'm out.
Ron
I'm fully aware of the risks involved with "poontang" both from an STD perspective and from bearing children. If one came about as an accident. Well its something I'd rather not think about but I would do right by it.
The career that I'm lining myself up for is in the technological aspect of manufacturing. As you know manufacturing over there and here is leaking out of the country like air from a burst balloon. There are jobs in that field here but for the truly great jobs I may need to leave the country. Having a child would prohibit that.
Should I ever wish to return to college and pursue a masters I would prefer doing it full time allowing full concentration on research and assuring the project would be completed to my best ability. With no distractions from working life (ie doing it part time) or from raising a child. Which means saving a lot of money and living a very modest life style for two years. Having a child dependant on you is going to pretty much prohibit that approach.
simple things like doing something on the spur of the moment. Get a last minute ticket to a concert oh wait no one to mind the kid. Getting pissed with your friends and staying out all night and not have to worry what the hell your going to do about the kid the next day. See some cheap plane tickets for a weekend break, forget about them. That basic freedom to come and go and do as you please because your child is dependant on you.
I mean I dislike the idea of having a pet as a dependant let alone a child.
You may see what I'm saying as complete fear of responsibility. But it's not that I'm irresponsible. I live up to the duties and requirements that life brings to me. I just don't see that life involving a kid.
Plus I don't see this world that surrounds me as a particularly good environment to raise a child. Crime, drugs, war, mob mentality,religion, child obesity the list is endless. It's not like those things are ever going to go away.
I see purposely having a child as a selfish things as well. Does the world really deserve to have your (I'm not speaking about you in particular but everybody including myself) legacy? Something that as closely resembles you genetically as possible. The purpose of having one to satisfy your need for self fulfilment. Its not a selfishness that only affects you but the world that surrounds you and the world long after you are gone.
I can see many many negative reasons involving having children and very little if any good reasons. I have even gone so far as to question my own parents as to why they bothered having children i.e. me and my sister.
I have no doubt that all of this will rub all the daddies and those who want kids up the wrong way. But those are my feelings on the matter and I don't think someone from an internet forum is going to change that any time soon.
Shadow, I apologise if my comments were taken as "questionning your mettle", but they really weren't. I thank you just the same for your thoughts. You def have a good head on your shoulders, and far be it for me to want or even try to change your mind.
Again, sorry folks if I sounded preachy, or my thoughts viewed as "simplistic" and I'm not trying to draw a linear outcome for every turn, as all cases are different...just trying to get some to think a little more clearly, and sometimes black and white scenarios are a good starting point. You can't just go off blindly tagging tail without fear of repercussions...I know it's a big "duh", but still, some think it.
Sorry to have totally screwed your otherwise jubilant thread Mr. Barfly.
Again, sorry folks if I sounded preachy, or my thoughts viewed as "simplistic" and I'm not trying to draw a linear outcome for every turn, as all cases are different...just trying to get some to think a little more clearly, and sometimes black and white scenarios are a good starting point. You can't just go off blindly tagging tail without fear of repercussions...I know it's a big "duh", but still, some think it.
Sorry to have totally screwed your otherwise jubilant thread Mr. Barfly.
Rakie
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to...
Oh no we get you Ron, what it is is this. If you don't want a kid, somebody talking about how great they are is a complete contradiction to your own thoughts, which we all understand. I think subconsciously people not in the mindset to have children in their lives acknowledge that as not a "happy" thing, but rather a weight keeping you down. Not that it is, or isn't. I think it just kinda surprises people to have a varying opinion still.
I love hearing peoples opinions, and I dont' really tread on anybodies beliefs, but i'll gladly share my own.
I think to put this into prospective for you, id say this. We tend to place ourselves in situations to relate to them, and for somebody not really/willing that is shocking.
Imagine say, (God forbid) that somebody you knew passed, and somehow the word got out they wanted you to take their children, you were just called by social services to confirm this, RIGHT now.
.. That's a scary thing, regardless of if you want to or not, thats a shocker. Now imagine if you didn't want to, but were obligated... If you can imagine that vividly, you'd know exactly how some feel.
Kinda hard to explain people's way of relating things to themselves seeing as personality is involved, but thats my take on reaction's to situations like this.
I love hearing peoples opinions, and I dont' really tread on anybodies beliefs, but i'll gladly share my own.
I think to put this into prospective for you, id say this. We tend to place ourselves in situations to relate to them, and for somebody not really/willing that is shocking.
Imagine say, (God forbid) that somebody you knew passed, and somehow the word got out they wanted you to take their children, you were just called by social services to confirm this, RIGHT now.
.. That's a scary thing, regardless of if you want to or not, thats a shocker. Now imagine if you didn't want to, but were obligated... If you can imagine that vividly, you'd know exactly how some feel.
Kinda hard to explain people's way of relating things to themselves seeing as personality is involved, but thats my take on reaction's to situations like this.
Again, I totally understand your take, I'm certainly not blind to any of this, and appreciate your rationale completely, but...
that opens up a whole new can of ethical/religious/familial worms I dare not get into here. Let's just say I appreciate this scenario entirely, but it's really not entirely germaine to the spirit of this thread, as it is not the focus of the outcome between two person's sexual encounter. In this case it's a matter of family bond and the like... the concept of "God Parents" and all that...
But to go back to that for a moment, without getting into it let me assure you I know from that all too well. We had a tragedy in my family 3 weeks ago. And that is where I will leave it. I thank you again for your thoughts, and again, apologize to anyone who might have taken my view as being preachy.
Ron
that opens up a whole new can of ethical/religious/familial worms I dare not get into here. Let's just say I appreciate this scenario entirely, but it's really not entirely germaine to the spirit of this thread, as it is not the focus of the outcome between two person's sexual encounter. In this case it's a matter of family bond and the like... the concept of "God Parents" and all that...
But to go back to that for a moment, without getting into it let me assure you I know from that all too well. We had a tragedy in my family 3 weeks ago. And that is where I will leave it. I thank you again for your thoughts, and again, apologize to anyone who might have taken my view as being preachy.
Ron
I had my family doctor talk me out of it a few years back, right after our 2nd child was born. But last year, it really was time.
I couldn't imagine our lives without our 2 human hurricanes around. would the house be cleaner? Yup. Would we have nicer stuff? Probably. Did the kids take that from us? No way!!!
I couldn't imagine our lives without our 2 human hurricanes around. would the house be cleaner? Yup. Would we have nicer stuff? Probably. Did the kids take that from us? No way!!!
I don't think you posts were preachy or anything Mon. At the suspicion that my thoughts on the matter may ruffle some feathers I just threw everything I had to say on the matter in to one all inclusive post.
It's all about personal values, really. See, what might be rewarding about having children for some people is completely the opposite to me and many other people. Having children goes strongly against my values; it goes against everything I stand for. *For me* (and for many people) there is almost nothing more rewarding than a childfree life. For others, having children is most rewarding. Just because one person feels having children is the most rewarding thing in life doesn't mean it is or should be the same for everyone. Decisions about breeding should be made responsibly and according to one's OWN values tempered with logic; NOT according to other people's views or pressure.
Yes I think there can be cultural factors involved. You get married and have kids not because you necessarily want to but because that's what everyone else does and thats what everyone expects of you.
This isn't always the case or anything or the thoughts of the culture that a person is surrounded by. However I do think that it certainly is a real thing.
lol ..
now the cool thing is if your with a woman for awhile .. or even for a short time and she tells you she's pregnant .. and if she does this to hook, line, and sinker you ...
you can then bring up the point that your neutered.
See her reaction.
Would be priceless!
now the cool thing is if your with a woman for awhile .. or even for a short time and she tells you she's pregnant .. and if she does this to hook, line, and sinker you ...
you can then bring up the point that your neutered.
See her reaction.
Would be priceless!
There are so many people who shouldn't be parents, or are accidently parents that I commend anyone who decides they don't want kids and then doesn't do it. Being a parent is something that should be a choice, unfortunately it's not always that way.
My fiancé had his daughter at age 20. One of the things he loves about me is he said (when we first met) that he had wanted to be a touring musician but he couldn't because he had a daughter. And I said " that's bull****, you can do anything you want to do." And ever since I've been pushing him to follow his dream.
There's no doubt that he's a good dad and a darn good musician. His daughter is a little rocker, and I'm sure she'll pick her instrument soon! I think she wants to play drums.
Anyway, congrats to all the "neutered" men! Congrats to all the parents! And congrats to all the people who are making the right choice for them.
My fiancé had his daughter at age 20. One of the things he loves about me is he said (when we first met) that he had wanted to be a touring musician but he couldn't because he had a daughter. And I said " that's bull****, you can do anything you want to do." And ever since I've been pushing him to follow his dream.
There's no doubt that he's a good dad and a darn good musician. His daughter is a little rocker, and I'm sure she'll pick her instrument soon! I think she wants to play drums.
Anyway, congrats to all the "neutered" men! Congrats to all the parents! And congrats to all the people who are making the right choice for them.
hey you were a baby once...Stuff STILL comes out of your mouth and bum....and nose.
I can handle the stuff that comes out of my own body
I guess I'm still thinking in immediate for kids. Right now in my life, no way... but I never know how I'll feel about it when I get older.
