Indeed, it's I've seen some ridiculous car audio(and house wiring, actually) jobs. And even when it's done right, I think the designers of those multi-plugs in car audio are secretly laughing at all the installers out there: "MUAHAHAH! Let them try and declip this connector without my patented 16 prong, 32 axis declipper!! I WILL RULE THE WORLD! And the funny part is, my declipper won't fit under the dash of any known vehicle!"
Yeah, it shouldn't take 10 minutes. Well, maybe for your iron to heat up, but soldering itself is a 3 second or less affair. Wait until the iron is hot. Tip should be shiny, fresh solder from the spool should liquify instantly on contact.
With wire to wire connections, make sure things are making good contact mechanically(before any solder is applied). Touch the tip for ~1 second or so to heat the wire some. Then touch the solder briefly to the tip, this creates a solder bridge which transfers heat more efficiently. Then you should be able to move and feed the solder to the rest of the area being soldered.
Remove the iron and solder when the pieces are coated, but not drowning. Big globs aren't better.
Solder should flow smoothly, like water and fill in gaps. If not, your iron isn't hot enough and you won't get good contacts. You also tend to, counterintuitively, put more heat into surrounding pieces that can't handle it. The only are this SHOULD be a problem are when connecting the pots which are big hunks of metal that act as heat sinks and keep the joint from reaching proper temp. Even this, tho, isn't hard w/ a decent iron and proper solder bridging.
If the solder instantly liquifies, but doesn't stick, the surface was contaminated and you should clean it first. Often, solder has flux-core so pre-cleaning isn't necessary on decent condition parts. However, finger oils, smoke and other evidence of gigging, as well as new components(sometimes coated w/ oil) can be stubborn. You can buy standalone flux to clean things. YOu can usually do well enough w/ a swab of denatured alcohol, or even just a hard rubbing w/ a clean cloth. the flux-core solder will do the rest.