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Wives/Girlfriends at practice
- Thread starter T-Forty
- Start date
- Jul 30, 2006
- 2,315
- 453
- Disclosures
- Endorsing artist:Regenerate Guitar Works Carvin, Micheal Kelly Guitars
Our significant others / friends will drop by on occasion, and we use to opportunity to try out new stuff and get reactions, but the time is always limited to like a half hour or so...
My girlfriend comes along with me to every practice. We practice in a two room office space, one room for our rehearsing and a "green room" of sorts for chilling on breaks. My gf stays in the green room and reads and digs listening to our jams. She's friends with my band, sings in a band herself, and my drummer is often at her bands practices (I would be too if I wasnt at work) as he sometimes fills in on drums for them. We also ofte have friends stopping by our spot to hang out with whoever is there. Our practices are still taken seriously and are quite productive.
With my last band, a 2 piece, rehearsals were held in my garage. My wife was there every week, and my drummer always brought his gf, who was friends with my wife. They went and hung out front while we practiced. No problems ever.
Extra people at rehearsal only becomes a distraction if you let them.
With my last band, a 2 piece, rehearsals were held in my garage. My wife was there every week, and my drummer always brought his gf, who was friends with my wife. They went and hung out front while we practiced. No problems ever.
Extra people at rehearsal only becomes a distraction if you let them.
You mean if they get mad when you tell them to shut up or leave the room?
Seriously, what we have to also remember is that music sometimes is a fun social thing, and sometimes it's straight up work. I prefer the latter, and don't take part in many outfits that are just fun. I have spent way too much time getting my game down to not treat it like my profession, even if it isn't.
I am not saying that my situation is for everyone, but I am anal enough in picking who I would be willing to work with as is. This also doesn't apply when I am filling in for a situation. It's not my situation and i couldn't care less what goes down as long as my end is covered (meaning getting paid after the gig).
Flip side is, if they aren't a distraction, then it is fine. Some have said 'they go into another room or they go online'. They aren't really causing anything. There was one chick (wife of the drummer where we practiced) who would suppossedly be working online in the room, but occassionally have to throw her two cents in.
Maybe I am just an ass, but I don't seem to remember an agreement between the other fellers where her input is wanted. Turns out none of us felt that way. We were cordial, but we soon changed practice spots.
We've never really discussed it (been playing together for about 2.5 months). Our rhythm guitarist's wife comes if she isn't working. She usually sits and watches and doesn't say anything much of anything. Occasionally, I hand her my camera before practice and ask her to take a few pics, so she is now the band photographer.
If she starts wanting to have input on the music (apart from "I love that song!") or distracting her husband, then I guess we'll all have to discuss a "no SO" rule.
If she starts wanting to have input on the music (apart from "I love that song!") or distracting her husband, then I guess we'll all have to discuss a "no SO" rule.
Maybe my friends are just respectful enough to not interfere? Then again, we dont ask for, or expect for anyone to provide their input, and no one so far as felt so inclined to give any.
We hang with them when we're on a break or something, but as far as the rehearsal itself goes, we've never had to deal with telling anyone to shut up or leave the room. But I always like when a friend wants to stop by, they usually bring some treats for breaktime.
We do try to not take ourselves too seriously, but making music is a serious thing, regardless of how much fun we're having in the process.
We hang with them when we're on a break or something, but as far as the rehearsal itself goes, we've never had to deal with telling anyone to shut up or leave the room. But I always like when a friend wants to stop by, they usually bring some treats for breaktime.
We do try to not take ourselves too seriously, but making music is a serious thing, regardless of how much fun we're having in the process.
Sounds like a pretty laid back situation, which is nice. Maybe I just hang out with high strung people
Either way, we probably have similar treats running at practice, I am usually more willing to deal with a donkey farting in the room if that is the case.
allow me to reiterate, our new member's gf is the only person i have seen who has not been a distraction in 25 yrs of playing in bands. and its only been a month or so, hopefully nothing will change.
on the one hand, often those that hang out seem to wanna "contribute" some how, and thus butt in. on the other, when the band is working out a tough spot or experimenting with parts/arrangements or whatever, it can get touchy with people pushing their ideas or trying to constructively critize someone else's playing. then, it is real awkward to have outsiders in the space. whatever communication flow has been established between the band members is thrown off by knowing others are listening. most outsiders don't really wanna know what goes on in practice to make the band sound so good on stage.
fortunately for me, my wife has never been to a practice of mine in 20 years (and many bands)
on the one hand, often those that hang out seem to wanna "contribute" some how, and thus butt in. on the other, when the band is working out a tough spot or experimenting with parts/arrangements or whatever, it can get touchy with people pushing their ideas or trying to constructively critize someone else's playing. then, it is real awkward to have outsiders in the space. whatever communication flow has been established between the band members is thrown off by knowing others are listening. most outsiders don't really wanna know what goes on in practice to make the band sound so good on stage.
fortunately for me, my wife has never been to a practice of mine in 20 years (and many bands)
It really depends on the people in your band and the people you have visiting. It also depends on what your band is trying to accomplish for a specific practice. If you're concentrating on writing new material, it would most likely be a boring process for outsiders. Whereas tightening up a set might not be.
We just had a friend sit in on practice last weekend. We were running through our set in preparation to record some demos. We used the opportunity to get some outside feedback. He even made a suggestion on one of our newer songs that we were still feeling out the arrangement for (and we liked it enough to use it).
Unless we're working on new material, if visitors know that they shouldn't expect to really be acknowledged (till your on break that is), then I really don't see a problem with them being there.
We just had a friend sit in on practice last weekend. We were running through our set in preparation to record some demos. We used the opportunity to get some outside feedback. He even made a suggestion on one of our newer songs that we were still feeling out the arrangement for (and we liked it enough to use it).
Unless we're working on new material, if visitors know that they shouldn't expect to really be acknowledged (till your on break that is), then I really don't see a problem with them being there.
. Long as the people know to just listen no problem here !
I support the no visitors policy. Even being observed by silent guests changes the group dynamic.
Rick Auricchio
Registered Bass Offender
No way. It is practice or rehearsal, not a performance. It is impossible to NOT perform when there are any spectators. It affects everyone in the band.
I've acted in local plays where the director had a strict no-spectators policy during rehearsals. She's absolutely right.
I've acted in local plays where the director had a strict no-spectators policy during rehearsals. She's absolutely right.
Most of my main band's rehearsals are just the three (or four, when we still had a lead guitarist) of us. Sometimes the drummer's girlfriend will come near the end. But that's okay, because by then we're pretty much just reviewing stuff and running through songs, and she sits quietly on the couch (though once she took a few pictures). It helps that she often brings water or other drinks.
My girlfriend came to one rehearsal, but she sat quietly the entire time. We've had other friends there, too, always with the understanding that we were rehearsing and so not likely to pay much attention to them and so they'd essentially be basically hanging out by themselves until rehearsal was over.
A previous side project of ours was awful about it, though. Mainly the singer, who would bring girls and be flirting with them, and the second guitarist, as he would show up late (we later found out that this was because he was screwing the drummer's now ex-girlfriend half the time), bring random girls (almost always different ones that nobody else knew) and be flirting with them while we were trying to work.
I'm okay with friends or girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands showing up as long as it's not for the whole rehearsal every rehearsal and they know that they need to shut up and let us rehearse.
My girlfriend came to one rehearsal, but she sat quietly the entire time. We've had other friends there, too, always with the understanding that we were rehearsing and so not likely to pay much attention to them and so they'd essentially be basically hanging out by themselves until rehearsal was over.
A previous side project of ours was awful about it, though. Mainly the singer, who would bring girls and be flirting with them, and the second guitarist, as he would show up late (we later found out that this was because he was screwing the drummer's now ex-girlfriend half the time), bring random girls (almost always different ones that nobody else knew) and be flirting with them while we were trying to work.
I'm okay with friends or girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands showing up as long as it's not for the whole rehearsal every rehearsal and they know that they need to shut up and let us rehearse.
I generally think no girlfriends at practice is a good rule of thumb.
If theyre the kind to think their input is valild or want to sit there whinging about how long it takes etc or they distract the band member being all oooh smoochy smoochy grr i wanna go now i already made plans for today roarrr!! then she needs to GFTO.
If they sit there quietly, or better yet sit on the couches outside the actual rooms etc then its no big deal, i guess i like to take it on a case by case basis.
Ideally partners should realise that rehearsal is likely going to be very boring for them and just stay home, and not be a jealous pshycho because of their partner spending time with the band. hahaha
If theyre the kind to think their input is valild or want to sit there whinging about how long it takes etc or they distract the band member being all oooh smoochy smoochy grr i wanna go now i already made plans for today roarrr!! then she needs to GFTO.
If they sit there quietly, or better yet sit on the couches outside the actual rooms etc then its no big deal, i guess i like to take it on a case by case basis.
Ideally partners should realise that rehearsal is likely going to be very boring for them and just stay home, and not be a jealous pshycho because of their partner spending time with the band. hahaha
Not sure why someone not in the band would want to sit through what must be incredibly tedious, anyway. I doubt it's very fun to hear people play the same songs (badly) over and over again, stopping in the middle of them quite frequently to address problems, talk about things like measures and chords and who's doing what at which time and so on. It sounds quite dry.
