I could write books on that subject, tons of douchebags...
First off, keyboardist girl. Music diplomas and everything, all psyched up before the "audition". Rehearsal comes up, she's fishing for the intro to "enjoy the silence" by Depeche Mode with only her index finger. Seven unsuccessful attempts till I reached the "stroke" point and kicked her flat out.
Another keyboardist girl, comes up to rehearsal with hand written notes off guitar tabs. Had no idea what that was about and I would have no problem if that... "method" worked for her, but guess what? It didn't. Several botched attempts at VERY simple songs and she was out before the one hour mark.
Douchebag guitard kept grinding about how he wants me to play that, not play that, keep quiet during that, stop playing overall over parts the other guitard told me to play, etc. At one point, he got pissed and left the rehearsal cause me and the drummer were figuring out a rhythm while singer and the other guitard figured out some other lines - while he was just sitting there just looking around. Obviously said guitard had it out for me since I played a guitar solo better than him or something, so I left them altogether. The other guitard was no better at that band either...
Another guitard with the Malmsteen complex kept insisting I play EVERY song in the list note for note. I was down with that, no problem. Thing was, he had the notes wrong, and when I played them right he wouldn't take it. Not even when I played it along the original track in the studio. Still insisted something was wrong... Guitards...
Same band, keyboards girl (guitard's girlfriend) made everyone's ears bleed with the highs on her synth. After about 800 suggestions she should take a look at her EQ I quit.
Same band (again), litter drum-tard was trying to play a double-kick thingy with one kick and the floor tom. Noone even bothered NOTICING the NOISE. All that in ONE rehearsal. Suffice to say there wasn't another one (for me).
A while ago, in an originals band where I wrote everything, we go for a rehearsal and half the people are missing. Keyboard player's a ghost, never talked to him, never seen him again, guitard sent an SMS after an hour and a half into rehearsal that he couldn't make it (ever again, apparently) and singer chick called five days later telling me that we played songs we didn't agree upon (there were four songs agreed beforehand and she never actually showed up!). That band was quickly over, since bass player couldn't play straight 8ths with a pick to save his life and the drummer obviously practiced another playlist!
Another drum-tard, during a gig just drops about five tunes just because he felt he couldn't play'em. Right before we were about to play those tunes, and right after an array of continuous rehearsals on those exact songs, which went quite well.
Another guitard, right before a gig, decides to change up his tuning, and casually strolls in and tells us we're gonna play everything in drop C, just because his guitar sounded more BROOTAL to him that way. Mind you, were were in E standard. I just walked away when the others just said "ok".
Another band, bass player comes in, sets up and gets out a thumbpick and a fingerpick. I'm thinking "cool, an alternative style or something". Boy, was I wrong! He couldn't play a single thing right, half the time he was overly loud (a bass blanket over EVERYTHING) and the other half barely audible. After that, he had the nerve to "school" the rest of us (all of which were regularly gigging musicians for years and playing together a loooong time) that our levels were screwed, and that our (actually perfect pitched) singer was off all the time. He immediately got the boot.
I was in another band where the guitard was pretty much the definition of "guitard". Dude wasn't actually a "bad" bandmate but he was stupid to the point of retardation! I caught him trying to find the FX loop on his amp under the cabinet for god's sake!!! :scowl:
Drummer was no better, either. Thought he could outplay Peart and couldn't hold down Pink's "you and your hand".
Another band, we get a girl vocalist. That one's funny. She couldn't quite reach the high notes, so everytime a song called for one of those, she turned on "growl" mode. And I mean death metal screechy growls! Her excuse was "it sounded more -in your face-". We were playing pop-rock.
I got much more of those but I think those are enough for now!