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Would/does your band do WEDDINGS? Are they that bad?
- Thread starter CoffeeLove
- Start date
That's because you don't play weddings!
usually the bands themselves are tight & well rehearsed. It’s something about hearing the same vocalist all night. It just gets stale very fast. All of the songs sort of mesh together.
I agree that DJ has important role at wedding. It's unfortunate if the organisers want the band to cover the whole event. The best weddings I have played at had both: band and DJ (or somebody playing the role of DJ).
I've never played a wedding but 25 years on, people still rave about the band Mrs. and I hired. I wouldn't mind playing in a band like that one bit.
They can be fun, but many of them suck so it's a mixed bag.
I played one where we were hired by a bandmate's brother. We went to the bar after loading in and were refused service becasue we were considered "employees". The groom pleaded with the event manager who showed him the contract and we had to play the wedding sober. That would have been OK except for our alcoholic fiddler who was beside himself.
The most stupid one so far was when we were hired by a bride who was an ex-girlfriend of a friend of the BL. The fiddler (different one, but also an alcoholic...hey, this is not only about alcohol!) and I arrived first to discover we were playing at a monstrous estate on the shores of the Hudson River. The bride was a college dean marrying another college dean and her father was a billionaire financier. The BL knew nothing about her background, so we played the wedding for less than $1000...vaguely remembering $600? We could have asked $6000 and she would not have blinked. There were a lot of toasts, went on almost an hour. Our total play time was less than two hours but the BL started having fun so wanted to keep playing, everybody in the band said no. We went home with about $100 each in our pockets.
Let's see, a good wedding story? The reception was in a community hall and as soon as we started playing, the bridge and groom got up from the table and started dancing. Within minutes, everyone was on the dance floor. At the end of the night, the bride's father came to thank us for the music. He had no shirt on and was covered in sweat.
Then there's just weird ones:
We drove from Mass. up to Vermont, about 3 hours one way. After setting up, I was walking around the grounds and who do I see but a former BL!!! Turns out he was a cousin of the bride. I had him get up and do some tunes with us.
The BL told me the sax player would be there early to play a cocktail hour set by himself. When I arrived, there was a guy in accordion playing with him, and he was good! They were doing 1930s-40s standards. After they finished, I asked who the accordion player was. The sax player said. "I don't know, he just asked if he could play a tune. He was good, so I let him call the rest of the set." I told the BL and he had the guy come up for some tunes with the whole band.
We were doing back to back gigs in NH, playing an outdoor festival in the afternoon and then doing a wedding later that night. The grandfather of the bride told us he had a piano in the car and would like to play some on our breaks. We said OK, he set it up and was very good. The sax player opened up his clarinet case and started playing along. The BL told the rest of us to chill out and he let them play for an hour.
Honorable mention:
I was not playing this time, I was attending the wedding of my nephew. The band was smoking, the floor was packed all night, the best wedding band I have ever seen. Something about the bass player looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. Later I was in the john when he walked in. That was when I figured it out. I asked him "Are you Joe Nerve?". It was!
I played one where we were hired by a bandmate's brother. We went to the bar after loading in and were refused service becasue we were considered "employees". The groom pleaded with the event manager who showed him the contract and we had to play the wedding sober. That would have been OK except for our alcoholic fiddler who was beside himself.
The most stupid one so far was when we were hired by a bride who was an ex-girlfriend of a friend of the BL. The fiddler (different one, but also an alcoholic...hey, this is not only about alcohol!) and I arrived first to discover we were playing at a monstrous estate on the shores of the Hudson River. The bride was a college dean marrying another college dean and her father was a billionaire financier. The BL knew nothing about her background, so we played the wedding for less than $1000...vaguely remembering $600? We could have asked $6000 and she would not have blinked. There were a lot of toasts, went on almost an hour. Our total play time was less than two hours but the BL started having fun so wanted to keep playing, everybody in the band said no. We went home with about $100 each in our pockets.
Let's see, a good wedding story? The reception was in a community hall and as soon as we started playing, the bridge and groom got up from the table and started dancing. Within minutes, everyone was on the dance floor. At the end of the night, the bride's father came to thank us for the music. He had no shirt on and was covered in sweat.
Then there's just weird ones:
We drove from Mass. up to Vermont, about 3 hours one way. After setting up, I was walking around the grounds and who do I see but a former BL!!! Turns out he was a cousin of the bride. I had him get up and do some tunes with us.
The BL told me the sax player would be there early to play a cocktail hour set by himself. When I arrived, there was a guy in accordion playing with him, and he was good! They were doing 1930s-40s standards. After they finished, I asked who the accordion player was. The sax player said. "I don't know, he just asked if he could play a tune. He was good, so I let him call the rest of the set." I told the BL and he had the guy come up for some tunes with the whole band.
We were doing back to back gigs in NH, playing an outdoor festival in the afternoon and then doing a wedding later that night. The grandfather of the bride told us he had a piano in the car and would like to play some on our breaks. We said OK, he set it up and was very good. The sax player opened up his clarinet case and started playing along. The BL told the rest of us to chill out and he let them play for an hour.
Honorable mention:
I was not playing this time, I was attending the wedding of my nephew. The band was smoking, the floor was packed all night, the best wedding band I have ever seen. Something about the bass player looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. Later I was in the john when he walked in. That was when I figured it out. I asked him "Are you Joe Nerve?". It was!
The word “bridesmate” rather than “bridesmaid” seems rather Freudian....You might even bring home a bridesmate
Yep, the weddings i've played have been like that.. Like the Jackson Browne song "They're the first to come and last to leave". Soundcheck has to be done before any of the guests arrive. We bring our own PA, can pack it in after the last guest has left.
We've been hired as a musical back drop.. which is fine. The bride and the groom should be the center of attention.
We don't advertise that we do weddings.. sometimes people reach out to us after a gig. If they dig what we do, then we're open to it.
It's nice to be able to contribute to somebody's special day.
I refuse to play wedding receptions but I do play cocktail hours before the main reception.
I voted for fun. As they generally are amongst the better gigs and generally pay better than the average gig. Crowd involvement is 100% guaranteed but realize you are NOT the focus of the evening.
However, there are some pitfalls. You will often be required to setup early and disappear until much later. This is fine if you don’t have to travel far for the gig but sucks if you do. The band’s behaviour needs to be top notch. You will likely have to dress a little fancier than normal. You will be dealing with and taking orders from all of the following at various points in the night: the bride, the bride’s friends, the bride’s parents, the wedding planner, the groom’s buddies and so on. Be prepared to sacrifice your artistic morals for the whims of the customer. If something goes wrong, you will most certainly hear it from the bride, the bride’s mother or the bride’s father.
It helps if you sign a contract!
But that’s just a generalization!!!
However, there are some pitfalls. You will often be required to setup early and disappear until much later. This is fine if you don’t have to travel far for the gig but sucks if you do. The band’s behaviour needs to be top notch. You will likely have to dress a little fancier than normal. You will be dealing with and taking orders from all of the following at various points in the night: the bride, the bride’s friends, the bride’s parents, the wedding planner, the groom’s buddies and so on. Be prepared to sacrifice your artistic morals for the whims of the customer. If something goes wrong, you will most certainly hear it from the bride, the bride’s mother or the bride’s father.
It helps if you sign a contract!
But that’s just a generalization!!!
I would have no problem playing a wedding, though I doubt my band would ever be hired for one. Our demographic is aging Baby Boomers 
Maybe for someone on their second or third wedding...
That said, I've heard many wedding bands over the years and most of them I have hated. Too loud, terrible mix, too many people on stage. I happen to be planning a wedding for one of my daughters at the moment and can I tell you, wedding bands are way expensive. $10K to start and if you want to add horns that's another $600 (in other words, more expensive for two extra guys than my entire band for an evening, LOL).
My daughter decided to go with a DJ/Live musician combo, which apparently is a thing now. Guy spins records and there's a drummer at the same time.
Maybe for someone on their second or third wedding...That said, I've heard many wedding bands over the years and most of them I have hated. Too loud, terrible mix, too many people on stage. I happen to be planning a wedding for one of my daughters at the moment and can I tell you, wedding bands are way expensive. $10K to start and if you want to add horns that's another $600 (in other words, more expensive for two extra guys than my entire band for an evening, LOL).
My daughter decided to go with a DJ/Live musician combo, which apparently is a thing now. Guy spins records and there's a drummer at the same time.
At one point I wanted to put together a wedding band...figured it would at least pay very well. I have some friends that do a ton of weddings and most have shared enough stories to make me think otherwise. They said most of them are fine but the bad ones are bad. And there is lots of hurry up and wait...still, I think if the pay was good enough I would be ok with that.
I'd like to be in a wedding/corporate band...but am in an acoustic trio (happy hour band) and a 5 piece rock/variety band (bars, community events). We have performed at 6 weddings over the past few years. Each was for either family, friends or fans. Always a great time, decent money and fun.
On the flip side, I used to DJ weddings and it got to the point where I dreaded it due to stereotypical "bridezillas". I quit, sold all my dj gear and dedicated myself to my band... and haven't looked back. Yes, DJ's make more money than bands in my area but doing what I love is a great "trade off".
On the flip side, I used to DJ weddings and it got to the point where I dreaded it due to stereotypical "bridezillas". I quit, sold all my dj gear and dedicated myself to my band... and haven't looked back. Yes, DJ's make more money than bands in my area but doing what I love is a great "trade off".
I used to play in a couple of wedding bands, and the negatives were having to wear a tux and the responsibility of conforming to a rigid agenda all night-- The dinner set; the arrival of the married couple; the married couple's big song; the standing motionless and quiet on the "stage" while every friend and relative in the world toasts or (roasts) the couple at great length; and the dance set, which often forces you to play some really corny stuff.
On the other hand, the dinner set can allow you to get experience at playing jazz and Latin/Brazilian music (albeit very politely). And the pay is much better than you'd get playing "Brown Eyed Girl" and "Mustang Sally" at Dave's Bar & Grill from 10:00 PM to 2:00 AM on Saturday night.
Now, there are OTHER types of weddings, and I've played at some where the couple specifically DOES NOT want a traditional band... they want a rock band which will play Grateful Dead tunes all night, for example. Those are more relaxed and fun, and still pay well.
On the other hand, the dinner set can allow you to get experience at playing jazz and Latin/Brazilian music (albeit very politely). And the pay is much better than you'd get playing "Brown Eyed Girl" and "Mustang Sally" at Dave's Bar & Grill from 10:00 PM to 2:00 AM on Saturday night.
Now, there are OTHER types of weddings, and I've played at some where the couple specifically DOES NOT want a traditional band... they want a rock band which will play Grateful Dead tunes all night, for example. Those are more relaxed and fun, and still pay well.
I played in a well organized, successful wedding band for a while. The bl wasn't a jerk, we all got along, the musicians were pretty good (good enough for typical wedding repertoire), and the money was fantastic. The only non-musical downside was the bl's rehearsal location, his home, was nearly an hour from my home. So far, so good...
My ultimate problem was the setlist. Until we got to Kool and the Gang (doesn't every wedding band play that one?), I was losing my mind with boredom. I had been considering giving my notice, and one night...
I'm playing and singing the backups for "looking for love in all the wrong places" and after the second verse, I decided to quit. I told the bl on our next break, and he freaked out. I guess my message didn't come out clearly, he thought I was walking out of the current gig. After we laughed that one off, I told him I would play as long as he needed to find another bass player to replace me. I did, and the guitarist quickly brought in a friend, another good player, and I was outa there a few weeks later.
My ultimate problem was the setlist. Until we got to Kool and the Gang (doesn't every wedding band play that one?), I was losing my mind with boredom. I had been considering giving my notice, and one night...
I'm playing and singing the backups for "looking for love in all the wrong places" and after the second verse, I decided to quit. I told the bl on our next break, and he freaked out. I guess my message didn't come out clearly, he thought I was walking out of the current gig. After we laughed that one off, I told him I would play as long as he needed to find another bass player to replace me. I did, and the guitarist quickly brought in a friend, another good player, and I was outa there a few weeks later.
The last wedding I attended there was a really good band that was way too loud. Older guests (like myself) were leaving because it was just too loud. We couldn’t even have a conversation at our table. It was painful.
We were manly a Band with occasionnal corporate and weddings.
We now are mainly a wedding band with occasional corporate and bar gigs. Pay is better, people are happy (most of the time) and ready to party. We offer a package deal, I do the animation during the dinner, we play, and also, we handle the "DJ Music" part.
We offer the Groom and Bride our repertoire and we build the setlist together. Any special request that we can't (on don't want to) play goes on the DJ music part. We typivally play 2 1h sets, with 30 minutes of DJ music between them, and 1h of DJ music after our sets (which we use to tear down the equipment, so no time wasted). And we always have the option to play a 3rd set for an extra.
Doing this all by ourselves is a lot of work, but it is a lot of fun too and the pay is good.
We now are mainly a wedding band with occasional corporate and bar gigs. Pay is better, people are happy (most of the time) and ready to party. We offer a package deal, I do the animation during the dinner, we play, and also, we handle the "DJ Music" part.
We offer the Groom and Bride our repertoire and we build the setlist together. Any special request that we can't (on don't want to) play goes on the DJ music part. We typivally play 2 1h sets, with 30 minutes of DJ music between them, and 1h of DJ music after our sets (which we use to tear down the equipment, so no time wasted). And we always have the option to play a 3rd set for an extra.
Doing this all by ourselves is a lot of work, but it is a lot of fun too and the pay is good.
I love wedding gigs and I've ran the gamut from uppity Lake Champlain locations to hippie and Fairy/Rainbow festival type couples. Straight catholic shotgun weddings in the middle of the winter to fully unplugged island same-sex ones as well.
This. Sure they can be a drag and I've got a million hilarious war stories from them but they can also be good if the band is great. Financially you can work as little as 4 nights within a month and take home the same wage as someone working a full time job.
Don't think it's just an easy gig, in some ways it is, but the market is so saturated now that it actually involves a lot of effort and work to stand out enough to get the bookings. You are selling an experience.
