Would/does your band do WEDDINGS? Are they that bad?

[Big Hoss]

I voted no, we are a mixed covers band that tends to be, well, not the best options for weddings.

A sample of our typical setlist.

I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying. Toby Keith / Sting.
Jolene. Dolly Parton (If our Fem singer is with us)
Jessies Girl. Rick Springfield.
Maybeline. Chuck Berry
Whos That Man. Toby Keith.
Give It Away. George Strait

Shall I go on or do you get the motif?

Yes, we tend to play divorce parties.

For the angry Gen X divorce party we have been known to cover The Mentors songs, mainly from Up The Dose, and You Axed For It. I won't list their titles here as the obscenity filters would kill them anyway.

 

[Benjamin Earl]

Weddings require an event coordinator. If someone isn't prepared to be (or isn't good at being) the coordinator, then it can be a stressful gig. Usually a wedding planner or someone at the venue is in charge, but a good wedding band will be prepared to take control of the event. The best wedding bands have top notch leadership and experience in making the event run smoothly, and the best bands will insist they are fully or partially in charge of coordinating the event.

Music diversity is also key. Weddings are not usually like bar gigs where you show up and play the songs you know. (It is possible to do this, but the wedding couple would need to know you are not capable of changing up your style.) You will need to know the right songs for the right situation. You will get requests for songs that are quiet, loud, slow, fast, dance-able, rock, pop, country, line dances, waltz, etc. It is OK not to play everything, but you should be ready to accommodate the wedding couple and their guests. If the father of the bride wants the chicken song, then you better have that chart or the mp3 on queue. If grandma's table is 2 feet from the band, then you better be ready to play chill. The best wedding bands are prepared and experienced to cover any situation.

Finally, you need one or two people with a microphone that is VERY good at public speaking. They need to be energetic, fun, and engaging.

 

[jnuts1]

So you are getting $1000 per person per wedding?

between 700 and 2k depending on what's requested

 

[bass12]

As has already been mentioned (or at least alluded to), there are various "tiers" of wedding band, as well as different kinds of weddings (and a range of possible expectations from wedding organizers). I've played weddings that were laid back affairs with bands that did not specialize in weddings. These bands were hired to "do what they do", without the expectation of us sounding like a DJ or of having the kinds of set lists that are typically associated with wedding bands. Those gigs generally involved the least amount of preparation time, the least amount of set-up, the least amount of waiting around and the least amount of stress for the bandleader and players. Presentation standards (what the band was wearing, how the stage was set up, etc.) were also lower.

The majority of wedding gigs I've done, however, have been with top-tier wedding bands. The weddings these bands have played involve more preparation, more set-up time, more waiting around on the day of the gig, more stress and much higher expectations regarding performance and presentation. The people these bands play for invariably have a lot of money and they tend to take their selection of band very seriously. I don't know the absolute ins-and-outs of what goes on behind the scenes (as I'm just the bass player) but I do know that the bandleaders usually have to jump through quite a few hoops when making arrangements with the wedding planners and families, and this will often require several in-person meetings.

The band is the last thing a wedding planner wants to have to worry about (they have flower placements, seating plans, scheduling and the caterers to deal with, amongst other things) so it is imperative that the band be as trouble-free as possible and that the bandleader be someone personable who conducts himself well under pressure. Set-up times can be long and the day's schedule can change at the drop of a hat. There can be more waiting around than actual play time and the comfort of the "waiting area" can vary significantly. The band might be treated really well (e.g., we might have access to the same food and drink as the guests) or as mere employees who need to be fed but who aren't worth "the more expensive stuff" (though I will say that I have never felt as if the band was treated as "just the help").

These kinds of gigs are definitely not for everyone but when the right people are involved they can be a lot of fun. The pay is probably not as good as it first appears once you factor in the actual number of hours involved, but to me it beats any number of other jobs I could be doing. Playing weddings has given me the opportunity to experience beautiful locations, play with great people and spend some time in the world of extravagance and excess without having to foot a bill of any kind I've eaten from incredible dessert buffets, slept in luxurious hotel rooms, and played some fantastic parties - all thanks to wedding gigs. Too bad that's all on hold for the foreseeable future...

 

[Benjamin Earl]

Our band does weddings. I HATE THEM. I am the only one apparently. It takes your entire day as you need to be set up so early to avoid disturbing the brides perfect day. You need to learn some "one time" songs. You have to dress up. You need to play to their song preference, not do your usual sets. We generally don't play them for less than $400 and usually $500 a person, but the money doesn't make up for the time and hassle.

This is a good point. You need to get to the venue an hour or more before the ceremony to set up. You can't be loading in or sound checking when any guests are there. Then you have to wait for the ceremony and cocktail hour to be over (unless you are playing cocktail hour). Then you can play from 1 hour to 5 hours after that (depending on how many speaches and games they have planned). Weddings are absolutely an 8-12 hour day, especially if you are bringing the sound system.

 

[jwoiton]

My band plays about 80% original songs. When we've been booked for weddings it's usually been friends of the band that know our stuff. We will play a few extra covers if requested by the wedding party. Because it's a friends wedding we charge a fair wage in return for joining the party.

 

[JoshS]

Yes, we tend to play divorce parties.

For the angry Gen X divorce party we have been known to cover ....

That's a thing?!?

My daughter decided to go with a DJ/Live musician combo, which apparently is a thing now. Guy spins records and there's a drummer at the same time.

That's a thing too?!? I apparently never get out.
So...what happens? "While I'm looking to queue up the next song, my buddy here is going to play Moby Dick!" (?)

 

[SteveC]

This is a good point. You need to get to the venue an hour or more before the ceremony to set up. You can't be loading in or sound checking when any guests are there. Then you have to wait for the ceremony and cocktail hour to be over (unless you are playing cocktail hour). Then you can play from 1 hour to 5 hours after that (depending on how many speaches and games they have planned). Weddings are absolutely an 8-12 hour day, especially if you are bringing the sound system.

If you have to travel any distance, you've now made it a 16+ hour day. Gig is 2 hours away. You need to be out by 3:00. 2 hours (minimum) to set up sound and lights. That means you leave your home by noon at the latest, probably a little earlier in case you get lost, whatever. Once set up you have 5 hours to kill as you are out of town. Start playing at 8. Done at 11. Packed up by 12:00 or 12:30. 2 hour drive home. It's 3:00 am when you it the pillow. 16+ hours or so. You made $500. Worth losing your entire Saturday and half of Sunday? Not always.

At least in town you don't have the drive time, and when you're done setting up you can go home to wait to play.

 

[jnuts1]

The upside of weddings is you can actually make some money, and the hours are a lot better ... the downside is you have to play a lot of cheesy music

in 2020 are there any big weddings that hire a band?

we lost 4 weddings and some corporate stuff this spring. and probably a dozen or more that would be booked throughout the year. it really sucks

 

[jnuts1]

If you have to travel any distance, you've now made it a 16+ hour day. Gig is 2 hours away. You need to be out by 3:00. 2 hours (minimum) to set up sound and lights. That means you leave your home by noon at the latest, probably a little earlier in case you get lost, whatever. Once set up you have 5 hours to kill as you are out of town. Start playing at 8. Done at 11. Packed up by 12:00 or 12:30. 2 hour drive home. It's 3:00 am when you it the pillow. 16+ hours or so. You made $500. Worth losing your entire Saturday and half of Sunday? Not always.

At least in town you don't have the drive time, and when you're done setting up you can go home to wait to play.

you should probably charge more money

 

[the yeti]

Weddings usually are behind schedule so you don't play that long but the pay is really good. It's a win/win. The worst/hardest part for me is the cocktail hour, mostly because I'm not a legit jazz player lol.

 

[Yellow Bang66]

There seems to be quite a bit of "dislike" out there for playing weddings. Curious why this is exactly? Have done the bar/restaurant/winery scene for a while now, along with special events, so exploring other options. Have not formulated my question very well, but you get the idea.

My band has considered doing more modern dance music, as well as 60-70's disco/funk stuff. Doing so mainly because we like the music, and people really seem to love our handful of dance tunes (Uptown Funk, LeFreak, Bust a Move, etc...), it always makes them dance. But we also talked about how more playing opportunities might open if we leaned in that direction, and so weddings came into the conversation.



Peace

No, because of the formalities, dress code,behavior,self disipline(drink limitations)& song requests. the band just wasnt polished enough,we were more of a bbq party beer band, I also believe weddings kind of require or are really helped with a Keyboard player.

 

[bass12]

That's a thing?!?



That's a thing too?!? I apparently never get out.
So...what happens? "While I'm looking to queue up the next song, my buddy here is going to play Moby Dick!" (?)

I’ve done a few weddings where the DJ and the saxophonist played a set together. No bueno.

 

[Pdaddy1978]

Weddings were the 2nd best paying gigs back in the day. Corporate partys being the best money makers.
The " sacrifices " you had to make to play them were the reason they paid so well.
Gotta dress up... Gotta learn songs they want... Gotta have a loooong ballad ready for the" money dance".. Gotta let them use the PA for toasts and announcements... etc,etc,etc.
They can go either way. Great experience, or train wreck.
Make friends with the brides dad, he's the one writing the check!
DJs stole about 80% of the buisness. But you do normally get fed and beered up!!

 

[aprod]

What I don't like about weddings is the 10 hour days with lots of down time. Hurry up and wait.

 

[dkelley]

I made a significant part of my income playing weddings for years. Band, string quartet, soloist, singer, sound, whatever was needed that I could get paid for and do a good enough job at.

It's a great gig - relatively easy, lots of sitting around being very quiet, playing with your phone or, heaven forbid, listening to speeches and feigning interest and support in the strangers getting married.

Often you get free food - and the food tends to be outstanding.

Sometimes you get to play decently loudly and really have a dance group loving your sets for a couple of hours.

Typically, though, you get shut down due to volume, length, cutoff times for venue, sound laws, or just people don't like music. You get paid either way, and as long as you are accommodating to the needs of those who are paying you (the bride's family, typically, but not always).... and you keep that in mind and make sure you KNOW who matters.... you'll be just fine.

You're close to the people listening, you play through your own amp or pa typically, you get to control your own sound, but you have terrible live acoustics often... so it's not easy.

A year ago I played bass in a big band (20 piece jazz band) for a smallish wedding party that the band barely fit into, let alone the guests. Strange but true.

 

[gorneyg]

Said I would never play in a Wedding Band and played in one for 2 years. It was ok. Fun? Some gigs. Good money. Like any band it depends on the other players.
The woman that ran the band with her husband and the keyboard player had a few unreasonable rules that were OK until they escalated and it got to the point where the hours expected weren't worth the $.

 

[dangevans]

Whoever hates doing weddings must hate $$$.

 

[electracoyote]

I have played in and run upscale private event party bands, and done a lot of solo entertaining in that market, for decades. Our target audience was just that, upscale private celebrations, mostly formal and black tie affairs. Although to compete in this market and make it a staple involves arguably a much more demanding standard, I much prefer them to public venue gigs.

For starters, to maintain success in that market you have to think of it as a business much more than the typical bar band. You are a "vendor" providing a "service" to a "client," and all the vernacular and principles of a business apply. Of course, this should be the mentality even with corner bars, but it's essential with private events. Your private event clients often need an expanded party band playlist full of mainstream variety dance party pop rock standards. So if you hate playing standard cover songs, it won't be a pleasant experience.

Beyond that, the private event client often has more on their agenda than a good dance party. There is a schedule to attend to, and the band with the PA and microphones is often expected to assist with announcements and co-hosting. You have to plan in advance, dig into the details, and assure the client you can help them in this respect. You also need to coordinate your efforts with all the other vendors and the party planner, if there is one. I've lost count how many times I suddenly turned into the de facto party planner and coordinator; considering how often the client skips this step it pretty much became the norm.

The perks for me have always been a built-in party audience ready to go with a cause to celebrate. I got so sick of lame-ass audiences in public venues, no matter how hard you tried sometimes they turned their noses up at you, and the owner blames the band for his "bad night." Screw that. With a private event they come ready to go virtually every time; play the right songs and it's packed dance floors with singing smiling guests fully appreciating how hard you've worked and what you bring as an entertainer. The venues are nicer, and there is usually food and beverage for the band that is much better than standard bar fare.

Also, even with the extra prep and day-of-event hours, the money is significantly better, if your BL is doing his job. For the BL, with all the marketing, sales, and pre-event work that goes into it, it's more a labor of love. But I used to enjoy putting numerous Benjamins in my players' mitts at the end of the event. Everyone went home sweaty and happy. Calculate the 10%-20% tip on around $3K or more. Do a good job, that's what you're looking at.

In the final analysis, the smart musicians and BL's will realize that private events (weddings, holiday parties, corporate events, etc.) are usually considered once-in-a-lifetime or once-a-year occasions and need to be treated with the utmost consideration and attention to detail.

 

[Sushi Box FX]

I've only done a couple weddings, but as mentioned before the money was good, and in both cases the food was even better. The only negative experience I've had was being asked to play a little quieter ("if this is a 10, play like a 7"), which always hurts me on a deep emotional level. But as also noted above, the crowd isn't there for the band.