Would/does your band do WEDDINGS? Are they that bad?

[coyote1]

I did agency clubdate-wedding work some decades ago. Back when the money was good, when OT was common if the band was good, before the heyday of DJs. On a good weekend I would play four or five gigs, and come away with $2K or more.

That scene started to fizzle in the early 1990s.
No way I’d do it now.

 

[Manticore]

I used to do a fair share of corporates and casuals. I'm not a fan of playing weddings. I'm good with corporate gigs. The difference is the level and type of drama from the client.

 

[Ggaa]

Well, there was that one, National Guard Armory, 100 or so people and 8 full size kegs....about 11 the buzz hit them all at once. Lots of throwing up before they made it outside, hollering at the soul club across the street, etc. Got paid and bailed.

 

[BAG]

I did a lot of weddings in my younger years as a DJ and that was generally pretty good. Decent money, easy to play requests, lots of free food and drinks and many of them go overtime where the bride/groom/dad will pay an extra $300 or more per hour for me to keep playing (this was in the late 80's) and I was around 18 so that was great money for me. I particularly liked doing Greek and Italian weddings where the bride and grooms mother's would always be encouraging you to just put on an album because "you must eat"

Playing in a band for a wedding.... that's a different matter. I won't do another one unless I get at least $1000 personally. Early set-up, lots of waiting around and the worst part is when guests think they can just jump up on stage, grab some (expensive) percussion gear and bang away as much as they like. When you politely ask them not to they or, worse still, the bride goes off at you as "she's my best friend and it's my day, she can do what she wants".

Sure, some are good, but I don't need the cash that much and would rather spend a Saturday doing something else.

 

[logdrum]

I am glad that I never handled business end of the wedding gigs except for a duo situation a couple times. There was a comment above about dealing with wedding planners.

Just imagine the wedding photographer whose work and drama to deal with does not end on the wedding and reception day. My wife use to do that and I was her go-fer and light guy and it was too much stress, plus cell phone cameras "got better" and they always argued how their cell photos are better (until they have to print large prints). We do not do it now.

 

[awakefie]

I think they're fun. They're just different and the pay is awesome.

What I've learned:
1) Be clear on everything up front - if you are learning songs, which ones, announcements, etc.
2) The toasts go on forever.
3) Alcohol is free so guard your gear accordingly (I had a laps at the last wedding I played and almost lost my bass to a lady who decided she was going to jump up on stage and sing for her husband after we were done, spilled her drink all over my Fender 5 string Jazz).
4) It's their day, not yours, if you are there to be the center of attention, u won't be.
5) Go with the flow but remember #1.

 

[DJ Bebop]

We told the bride and groom from the moment they contacted us: We were a stinky little bar band. We would play their requests ("Somewhere Over The Rainbow", "Isn't She Lovely", "Stand By Me") but we could not be held responsible for anything else. We made a bunch of money and got to spend a free weekend on Cape Cod. Someday maybe we'll get to play another one.
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[jnuts1]

We charge as much as we think the "market' can handle. We have been told no after giving a quote. We are reviewing our wedding policy after a debacle this summer. Travel will be a separate charge from the band fee. Consideration will also be given to how many special requests we need to add, load in time, length of gig, perks (food) etc.

We have a premade tiered plan.
standard rate is you pick songs from our standard setlist, we MC and provide dinner ipod tunes.
and we go from there. travel is also brokered into the price given. this way people can feel like its not an extortion scheme. they get to see what you provide at different rates and why.

 

[PJ Muzikmansky]

I've lost count of the number of weddings I've played at. Most were stereotypical pedestrian affairs; i.e. lots of hanging around, waiting to play etc, but two remain memorable...

The first was a Greek wedding that showcased the most frenzied plate-smashing imaginable. A large box full of plates was brought forth and once the smashing started, it was on for young and old. Shards of plate went flying left right and centre through the crowd. I'm surprised no one had an eye taken out there and then.

The second was an orthodox Jewish wedding during which the father of the bride, completely lathered in sweat, collapsed from exhaustion right in front of me about twenty minutes into the 'Hora'; and the uncle, also standing in front of me, who insisted on clapping VERY loudly and VERY out of time as I was attempting to navigate my way through the 30 min Hora medley consisting of ten or so smaller charts I'd glued together so I could segue smoothly from one tune to the next. A tough gig, but both food and pay were very good.

 

[DJ Bebop]

You might even bring home a bridesmate

 

[delta7fred]

Pre-Covid my current band played about 30% weddings with the rest made up of sports club parties, birthday parties, corporate functions, and the occasional bar.

Some of the best, and worst gigs I've played have been weddings. Some nights you just shouldn't be there, the guests haven't seen each other since the last wedding (or funeral) and all they want to do is talk. Others they are really up for it and would keep dancing until the sun comes up. I know which I prefer.


My 2 favourite wedding stories are both from the early 70's when I was playing guitar or bass and singing lead with a really versatile keyboard player and a pretty good drummer.

#1. I arrived mid afternoon to pick up the other two to find them stoned out of their brains. I loaded their gear and them into the van, drove to the venue, unloaded the gear (and them) and set most of it up.

The brides father requested a waltz as his dance with the bride, the keys player asked me "how does a waltz go", "123, 123, 123" was my reply. Like this he said and played a near perfect waltz. For the rest of the first set I had to prompt him on most of the songs.

The second set was better and he was starting to get into it. By the third set we were cooking and the dance floor was packed. The audience didn't want us to stop but the venue wanted us out. The brides father even gave us extra saying "I was a bit doubtful at first but you certainly delivered" (I was very doubtful).

#2. This was the drummers wedding. The reception was in a cellar of a building where a former King of England would occasionally stay. It had about as much atmosphere as a morgue and was about the same temperature. I remember very little of the reception but the keys player and I got invited back to the happy couple's house for a party afterwards.

When we got there it soon became obvious that it was a wife swapping party. 2 of us didn't take a partner (the keys player and I) so 2 guys were going to be without a partner. I was heading off to spend the night with my g.f. so didn't throw my keys in the bowl. When the ladies picked the keys out the 2 guys without were myself and the bridegroom.

We finished the only bottle half worth drinking (some no-name scotch) and I excused myself and departed for my g.f's flat and a nice warm bed.

Oh to be young again!

 

[deste]

Maybe only amateurs dealing with their own hyper-ego hate wedding gigs.
If music is your job, a wedding is a very good chance for getting well paid. Of course there are pros and cons, but it's a job.
I made many many of them, and usually I managed to have fun, sometimes in spite of bore and stress. But (have I said before?) it's job.

 

[buldog5151bass]

Weddings can yield some weird results:

1. I did one where the groom's family was traditional Japanese, and the bride traditional Jewish, families. I thought it would be a bore, but it got going. One Grandmother, in hero mono, led the entire group in a conga line to "Locomotion".

2. I attended the wedding of an in law. I learned that the groom loved doing Karaoke Elvis (other than that was a VERY shy kid. So I had a talk with the bride and the band, and arranged where he was called up on the bandstand to do Burning Love. It was worth what I tipped the band.

 

[CarpeBasso]

I’ve never been in a wedding band, but the notion of entertaining people on the happiest day of their lives, while maybe getting challenged a little musically and then getting paid very well sounds like a hoot to me!

 

[devnulljp]

I've played weddings. They're usually well-paid and can even be fun.

 

[jnewmark]

I never thought I would play weddings in my life, but the typical " wedding band " profile has changed rapidly, starting in the '90's. People getting married did not want the typical " Chicken Dance/Hokey Pokey " bands anymore; they wanted a party band that could play all sorts of dance music, and favorites like Brown Eyed Girl, Mustang Sally, Knock On Wood, etc. I was in an 8 piece band at the time with a horn section, playing clubs and Festivals. We kept getting requests to play weddings, and we told people that we were not your typical wedding band and would not change our material to play them. Most clients had no problem with that, expressing a desire to have more of a party type atmosphere than a traditional reception would normally have. It got to the point where we had to lay off wedding gigs because we had too many. During the '90's, it would not be unusual for us to do one or two a month, all year long. The money was double, sometimes triple what we were getting in clubs. And, we ate a lot great dinners !

 

[bigswifty1]

My band has played several, and IMO they are worth it for the money and not much else. They can be ridiculously long days, filled with all sorts of frustrating compromises and generally not much fun. Often the pay and facilities can be pretty nice, otherwise I would never bother except as a personal favour. Comparing them to normal gigs is like going from being your own boss back to indentured servitude. Obviously I’m generalising, but that’s my opinion.

 

[HolmeBass]

I voted “yes” but you have to realize the money is good because sometimes they are hard. Setting up far in advance and waiting to play has been common for me. The planner/bride has forgotten food for the band in the past.

Now none of the bands I did these gigs with did a lot of weddings so our end was pretty green. But unless I got positive confirmation on food, or easy access to buy some, I would pack sandwich that could hold you over.

But they are also really fun gigs to play in my experience, and the money is good.

 

[retslock]

I’ve done many with my wife as a duo and added keyboards as a trio. They can be fun depending on guests and venue but can also be torturous for the same reasons. I’ve had many a laugh at the antics of inebriated relatives and also plodded through the night of dread where the only person having a good time was the bride - also inebriated and the only one dancing - while stone faced and inert guests sat in uncomfortable silence. We speculated on the circumstances that led to that fiasco for some time after. We did many in a beautiful old sandstone reception centre booked by the venue, not the couple, where we dined on good food in a beautiful leafy courtyard with a fountain and fish pond and were well treated. They are what they are and believe me there are worse gigs.

 

[Joebone]

As a trombonist, when I came off of road gigs to finish college, I played with a high-end wedding/corporate band - I made union scale, I worked a lot, and played with excellent musicians. Two of the guitarists that cycled through that band went on to major pit work for musicals - one is the first-call guy in Philly (and the author of "Standing in the Shadows of Motown"), and the other has been doing Broadway for decades. My trumpet-playing partner in brass remains one of my closest friends, for more than 40 years and a continent away. The band had a strong handle on klezmer - they truly played idiomatically - and I was honored to be the token goy (This of course, after a four-year road experience as the token caucasian). During cocktails and dinner we played standards and could get away with some pretty adventurous stuff, pushing each other, as long as it was mellow. I continued with this band, on and off, for several years when I had gaps, or was off from law school. My chops, eyes and ears were enhanced, and as much as we bitched and moaned about the bandleader/office raking in real money, we all treasured the comradeship that came from playing at a high level, together. Net net - the gig is what you and your fellow musicians make it to be - good players lead to good times.