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Would you allow the old guy to do one song?
- Thread starter Chains
- Start date
Never trust an ex with your gear...he or she, makes no difference.
But seriously, play nice and try to be big about it. Like others have said, if it is a chance for them to rekindle old flames you are screwed anyway. But chances are the band has got used to how you play things and won't enjoy reliving the moment that much anyway.
This right here. I'll let someone sit in for a song or two and use my instrument if the other guys in the band vouch for them and the person shows no signs of intoxication.
OP, you have a great opportunity here to make a good impression with the band and their audience. Tell the BL that the guy can sit in and he can use your bass as long as he's sober. Then when he's done with his song, smile bigger and applaud louder than anyone else in the place. Then get back up and show the rest of the band that they've traded up.
Yeah I would let him play but if he came out I would ask him myself, I would be the one to invite him up for a song. You are still in control of the gig and you are going to look good to the fans.
Let the guy sit in. Best case scenario is he is super cool and you make a friend. Worst case scenario is he's a jerk, but you can still hit on his wife at the bar. After all, this is rock-and-roll, right? 
\m/
\m/
Let him play. Act like he did a great job, whether he did or not and that you are confident enough to let him play on YOUR turf. After all, it is your gig.
#1 answer. Ding-ding-ding!Let the guy sit in. Best case scenario is he is super cool and you make a friend. Worst case scenario is he's a jerk, but you can still hit on his wife at the bar. After all, this is rock-and-roll, right?
OP hasn't checked in in a couple days... I'd love to know how it works out. I think everyone answered the written question...
I'm generally with the "make friends, not enemies" crowd here, for all the right reasons listed--I wouldn't hit on his wife, but it IS rock-n-roll...
Except there's a lot we don't know. Is it a paying gig? He doesn't say. An originals band? Why did Tony leave? How long has he been friends with the band members, especially the BL?
I played in an originals band where everyone had played with each other in various other bands--their bass player of choice (same circle of musicians) had a drug problem, and was a no-show to the second gathering, so I went to an audition and got the gig. But for a year I knew if he cleaned up his act and wanted to join up, they'd be likely to let me go (the beginning set list was primarily songs from each of their previous respective projects). He never did, and once we started working up new originals I gained more value, but if the OP came *here to ask *us, maybe there's more of a dynamic than his insecurity at play. Maybe there's a vibe--"we really miss Tony, so he's going to sit in..." "Isn't it cool Tony can come out and play!"
And working up sets for 2+ months for one booked show sounds like an originals group, and perhaps young...
I'm generally with the "make friends, not enemies" crowd here, for all the right reasons listed--I wouldn't hit on his wife, but it IS rock-n-roll...
Except there's a lot we don't know. Is it a paying gig? He doesn't say. An originals band? Why did Tony leave? How long has he been friends with the band members, especially the BL?
I played in an originals band where everyone had played with each other in various other bands--their bass player of choice (same circle of musicians) had a drug problem, and was a no-show to the second gathering, so I went to an audition and got the gig. But for a year I knew if he cleaned up his act and wanted to join up, they'd be likely to let me go (the beginning set list was primarily songs from each of their previous respective projects). He never did, and once we started working up new originals I gained more value, but if the OP came *here to ask *us, maybe there's more of a dynamic than his insecurity at play. Maybe there's a vibe--"we really miss Tony, so he's going to sit in..." "Isn't it cool Tony can come out and play!"
And working up sets for 2+ months for one booked show sounds like an originals group, and perhaps young...
OP here! Wonderful advice and I thank you all. I appreesh all the pro and con thoughts. I have been waiting to chime in until after rehearsal last night.
While I cannot quote many of the fantastic ideas that you all have stated. I will touch on a few points. We are a mid 40 's hard rock cover band. We have taken the Winter season off for family and because of the new line-up. But as a band player, I am "young" and learning the finer points.
My concerns come from my previous (and first) band experience. I was asked to join in for a bassist who was on medical leave from work, thus could not gig. After a few show, he started to heal and was medically cleared. He started to sit in with more frequency, then we shared gigs, until finally, I was out.
This will not be the case here, as I am more capable, more professional and a better fit for this current band.
I brought up the subject last night during set up and told the guys that I was totally cool with it, good vibes, keep the crowd happy, etc. I would even invite him up myself. The guys just laughed it off, ripped on his "signature song" that they all hate, and basically said they hope it won't come up and if it does, we'll bury it in the second set.
Again, I thank you all. My personal insecurities will always be something that I will have to work through, be it with bands, family, work, life.
~~Chains
While I cannot quote many of the fantastic ideas that you all have stated. I will touch on a few points. We are a mid 40 's hard rock cover band. We have taken the Winter season off for family and because of the new line-up. But as a band player, I am "young" and learning the finer points.
My concerns come from my previous (and first) band experience. I was asked to join in for a bassist who was on medical leave from work, thus could not gig. After a few show, he started to heal and was medically cleared. He started to sit in with more frequency, then we shared gigs, until finally, I was out.
This will not be the case here, as I am more capable, more professional and a better fit for this current band.
I brought up the subject last night during set up and told the guys that I was totally cool with it, good vibes, keep the crowd happy, etc. I would even invite him up myself. The guys just laughed it off, ripped on his "signature song" that they all hate, and basically said they hope it won't come up and if it does, we'll bury it in the second set.
Again, I thank you all. My personal insecurities will always be something that I will have to work through, be it with bands, family, work, life.
~~Chains
Unless he was a mutual friend and there were others that "sat in with" the band, nope. No way. Too bad. You left, now go away.
Good to hear, Chains! This goes to show it is always better to bring stuff up and discuss it. Advice I should have followed quite a few times in all these past years
Bingo. Also loving all this talk about upstaging the guy. Because really, in the grand scheme of things, that's what it's all about, right?
I may be wrong but I seemed to have spent my time on bass making other people sound better. Or at least that was the goal.
Trying to.
