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Would you Continue?

baddarryl

baddarryl

Oct 26, 2008
1,738
1,537
Cape Fear!
#1
Hi all. I have had another band break up after working together for a year. It gets a little frustrating. I have painted myself into a corner where i really don't want to play country or the same ole worn out classic rock as everyone else does anymore. I have jammed twice with these two guys that are so Punk they didn't even know who Steve Harris is!! Fine with me, I rather enjoy playing for myself than for crowds. We are doing Dead Boys, Dead Kennedy's, Buzzcocks etc. Someone once told me to have fun and ride the wave for as long as it lasts. I try to do that.

Problem is two fold: one the guitarist plays in a touring band and can't always be there. The drummer told me in essence he is doing us a favor until we can find a permanent guitarist (two actually). Problem two is the drummer had a car accident years ago where he suffered a brain injury that makes him get tired and need to quit after an hour. If I were being honest I don't see this going anywhere. Really I don't have many goals beside being able to get good and play out locally from time to time. Just ride the wave and continue to scan the horizon for bigger sets? I love the material.
 
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#4
Since you enjoy the type of music, no reason you can't continue playing with these guys and keep your eyes open for another situation with similar music. The current situation is the start of a network in this genre you hopefully have the opportunity to put together which can lead to a more ideal situation for you. If nothing else is really going on at the moment, at least have fun and learn and get to play, right?
 
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#6
If it’s fun playing through tunes for an hour and you all get along keep going.

If it’s a chore to get together and others in the band feel put out having to turn up just can it.

You have to be honest with yourself and you all have to be honest with each other.

We had a rehearsal band for years, twice a month after work just for fun. Eventually everyone wanted to gig. We did a few gigs, lead guitar player moved out of town we carried on with one guitarist and a new vocalist. Eventually everyone lost interest and we disbanded, we were honest with each other though so there was no hard feelings.
 
#7
It all goes nowhere, mostly, so you probably need to decide if you're getting much personal enjoyment out of it. If you like the band and the music, no reason you can't keep playing with them and maybe look for another opportunity, too. Playing for an hour on occasion with decent players is better than playing for four hours every week with poor players, and also better than not playing at all. You say you don't have any serious goals, so why not just relax and enjoy it? You're not married to these guys exclusively so, as long as you have time, you can always add another band to your life.
 
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#11
Just because you decide to leave a band doesn’t mean you have to do it immediately assuming the situation hasn’t already become toxic. The opportunity to meet other like-minded musicians and potential future bandmates is generally better if you’re already in a band. We’ll all be able to get back to gigging eventually. The current situation can’t last indefinitely. People are getting vaccinated and it seems to be working. So - fingers crossed.

In the meantime here’s something to think about: Why does the drummer feel he’s doing you all a favor? Is there any reason that might justify that feeling? It might point to areas that need improving, both individually and collectively. So if there’s any merit to it, and it’s not just him being snarky, I’d take heed and act on it.

Luck! :thumbsup:
 
#12
baddarryl said:
Hi all. I have had another band break up after working together for a year. It gets a little frustrating. I have painted myself into a corner where i really don't want to play country or the same ole worn out classic rock as everyone else does anymore. I have jammed twice with these two guys that are so Punk they didn't even know who Steve Harris is!! Fine with me, I rather enjoy playing for myself than for crowds. We are doing Dead Boys, Dead Kennedy's, Buzzcocks etc. Someone once told me to have fun and ride the wave for as long as it lasts. I try to do that.

Problem is two fold: one the guitarist plays in a touring band and can't always be there. The drummer told me in essence he is doing us a favor until we can find a permanent guitarist (two actually). Problem two is the drummer had a car accident years ago where he suffered a brain injury that makes him get tired and need to quit after an hour. If I were being honest I don't see this going anywhere. Really I don't have many goals beside being able to get good and play out locally from time to time. Just ride the wave and continue to scan the horizon for bigger sets? I love the material.
Click to expand...

Among the automotive industry engineering service agencies, there is saying: "The best time to look for a job is when you have a job".
 
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#13
Control what you can. That’s you and your playing and effort and attitude.
If the parts you can’t control are overwhelming or not enjoyable it’s time to move on. In my experience even in a great situation it’s still people with different opinions in a small spade for a lot of time. Find the fit for you or create your own fit.
And there are a lot of fun songs in that catalog. And how would you know of the drummer has brain damage? (Thank you!!) People forget working with people in a band is just like working with people at work. Good luck. Don’t play with people you don’t want to be with and don’t play music you don’t love unless you’re good enough to get paid for it.
 
#14
baddarryl said:
Fine with me, I rather enjoy playing for myself than for crowds.
Click to expand...
baddarryl said:
Really I don't have many goals beside being able to get good and play out locally from time to time.
Click to expand...

Looks to me like you're not sure what you want. Your answer lies within choosing which statement you mean.

But if it were me: I'd continue to explore the situation to feed the "enjoy playing for myself" need and keep an eye out for other opportunities to fulfill your desire to "play out from time to time". (FWIW , I'm doing exactly this right now after I split with my band.)
 
#15
LBS-bass said:
It all goes nowhere, mostly, so you probably need to decide if you're getting much personal enjoyment out of it. If you like the band and the music, no reason you can't keep playing with them and maybe look for another opportunity, too. Playing for an hour on occasion with decent players is better than playing for four hours every week with poor players, and also better than not playing at all. You say you don't have any serious goals, so why not just relax and enjoy it? You're not married to these guys exclusively so, as long as you have time, you can always add another band to your life.
Click to expand...

Perfect reply. I'll only add that if I were you, I would keep looking while I'm jamming with these guys. Network at open mic nights. Check CraigsList ads. Yes, many will be flakes. But some are just good players who have no other way of networking.
 
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#20
That is close to an ideal situation for me. Play a show of cool music every so often, and being able to practice with a few others without having a lot of pressure for a ton of shows. Rehearsals are short and quick. Sounds like a lot of fun, and hopefully there's no drama. And who knows, maybe the drummer's stamina might get better over time.
 
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