Yet another Craigslist gem.

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Deluge Of Sound, Jan 31, 2009.

  1. Deluge Of Sound

    Deluge Of Sound Inactive

    Nov 8, 2007
    Vocalist wanted for Skoptsy band

    This band is a living testimony to Skoptsy; a Christian Sect which originated in Imperial Russia around 1771 ad. We differentiate ourselves from mainstream Christian groups, who we feel indulge in temptation and demonstrate flagrant disregard for God's just and final expulsion from the Garden of Eden as punishment for our original sin. We therefore choose, in aligning with His will, to take responsibility for the removal of fruit which has been placed on our bodies in the form of sexual organs. There are two kinds of castration: the "lesser" and "greater seal" (i.e. partial and complete castration). For men, "lesser" castration is the removal of the testicles only, while "greater" castration was the removal of the penis as well. We, the Skoptsy maintain that we are fulfilling Christ's counsel of perfection in Matthew 19:12 and 18:8,9. For women, the breasts are amputated and the labia is also removed.

    We don't play music with others outside our faith and practice. Not even "regular" Christians. Sorry, don't apply.

    All that assumed, this band is going for a very "ballsy" sound. Must be able to sing 2 octaves above middle 'C' in full voice.

    :p Well played, Craigslist poster.
  2. haha no band is worth losing your junk for!
  3. dustdbass6

    dustdbass6 Alembic User

    Apr 24, 2007
    Livermore, California
    I read that ad twice and can't believe the poster is serious. I have nothing against religion, but I feel like they take it to the extreme.
  4. troyus


    Apr 9, 2008
    San Diego, CA.
    lol... read it again!!! :p
  5. Ummm, I don't think they're entirely serious...
  6. Mike Shevlin

    Mike Shevlin

    Feb 16, 2005
    Las Vegas
    Maybe one of those ABBA chicks will do it.
  7. Aurel


    Dec 11, 2008
    Paris, France
    Endorsing Artist: Warwick Basses & Framus guitars, Pigtronix, Aguilar Amps, Orange Amps,
    Maybe the Bee Gees?
  8. wizay


    Mar 5, 2008
  9. I'm pretty sure this is in jest.

    What's funny is the limited vision of the Skoptsy cult. Kind of hard to keep your sect going when you can't reproduce!!
  10. anderbass


    Dec 20, 2005
    Phoenix. Az.
    On the bright side, that might just end up helping the guys hit those pesky high notes... ;)
  11. Mr Grady

    Mr Grady

    Feb 26, 2006
    perhaps the male members, er..umm........."donate" whats needed for reproduction before the castration.

    whats the shelf life of semen?

    i cant belive its for real.......and just think with the removal of the penis all those bathroom troughs going spare!
  12. OneMoreRobot


    Jan 23, 2009
    Ummm.... Going for ballsy tone without balls?

    Have fun with that.
  13. The Skoptsy cult was real, but according to internet research, it died out in the mid 20th century. I think the poster is having some fun.
  14. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty obvious this is not serious... Pretty funny actually :D
  15. OtterOnBass


    Oct 5, 2007
    Finally, a place where I fit in.

    Seriously. Skoptsy!?! What were they thinking?
  16. baalroo


    Mar 24, 2008
    Wichita, KS
    Doesn't seem that different than any other "christian rock" group to me... aside from the removal of the scrumdiddlyumptious.
  17. Joey3313


    Nov 28, 2003
    If anyone here thinks or thought this was serious, you're a tool.

    Hilarious ad, I hope they're a real band.
  18. Indeed.

  19. "Ballsy" sound and they are proffessing to be a bunch of castrati! I'd join in a minute that is hysterical.
  20. Somebody, PLEASE respond to the ad. I would but I......

    don't have the balls!!!!!!LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

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