Yet another one didn't work out....

[Marko 1]

LOL!

They've been playing together for years - in exactly this type of situation. Other guy has been leading, OP has been backing and singing harmonies. Is it really unreasonable to think the OP would almost immediately know the song and fall in? I see it as two guys who have played together for years on stage and just having some fun. Playing whatever comes up, whatever fits the crowd, and just generally being entertaining.

Sorry, I'm with the camp that likes to know what song is up next; no need to have that unnecessary challenge of "falling in" on the fly.

I played with a BL/Guitarist, he'd stick with the setlist for about two/three songs, then just start songs off without calling them out, drummer didn't even know or have a chance to click/lead the song in...

His explanation was that he'd get into some "zone", something crazy like that.

I'd just learned a bunch of Country songs for this, which is great, but many started out with the same chords, sounded exactly the same (at least for me at the time), and not knowing what song he was starting I couldn't look at my setlist where I had little notes, like whether I started with him or not... and when I looked at him he'd just yell out the key, like that was where the problem was... <facepalm>

drove me nuts, lol.

I eventually made enough of a fuss that the lead singer (good dude) would make sure he got the name of the song and let me know.

Vent over.

 

[Marko 1]

Maybe get to the mic was the name of the song.

 

[LBS-bass]

I played with a BL/Guitarist, he'd stick with the setlist for about two/three songs, then just start songs off without calling them out, drummer didn't even know or have a chance to click/lead the song in...

I play with a guy who does this. He plays mostly easy, 1-4-5 type stuff, and it's not very challenging. The biggest issue I have with it is that he plays everything in the keys he likes for his voice, which is almost always not the original key, so I can't remember what key anything is in without looking at the list he's given me.

Since we're jumping out of order, that takes way too much time, so I just ask him after he calls something, and off we go. But he does at least usually tell me what song he's about to play

None of this is too painful - I have a good ear, and if he just starts something, it takes a fraction of a second to find the roots he's using and fall in. But I can see how it would be difficult for some folks, and it's not exactly the most pro-level presentation.

 

[DanGroove]

When he threatened to walk off you should have stood you're ground and let him do it. It's his reputation that would have been tarnished doing it, not yours. Then you just apologize to the crowd for his behavior and continue the show solo with whatever material you know.

 

[Renaissance]

Sorry, I'm with the camp that likes to know what song is up next; no need to have that unnecessary challenge of "falling in" on the fly.

I played with a BL/Guitarist, he'd stick with the setlist for about two/three songs, then just start songs off without calling them out, drummer didn't even know or have a chance to click/lead the song in...

His explanation was that he'd get into some "zone", something crazy like that.

I'd just learned a bunch of Country songs for this, which is great, but many started out with the same chords, sounded exactly the same (at least for me at the time), and not knowing what song he was starting I couldn't look at my setlist where I had little notes, like whether I started with him or not... and when I looked at him he'd just yell out the key, like that was where the problem was... <facepalm>

drove me nuts, lol.

I eventually made enough of a fuss that the lead singer (good dude) would make sure he got the name of the song and let me know.

Vent over.

Full band, key changes on the fly, sub player, relying on notes, setlist changes on the fly - there are plenty of reasons I agree with you (and others) completely! However, I don't see any of those factors in play here.

Two "fools on stools" who have been playing this format together for years? Not to be argumentative but I just don't see the problem.

IMHO, I don't think the song title had anything to do with what transpired.

 

[Keyser Soze]

Your musical relationship with this pal sounds like a "marriage of convenience" to me. This is clearly not a "love of your life" situation, more like a "take it or leave it" scenario.

I think you're being lazy, taking this path of least resistance because it's easy. You're clearly not afraid of work, as you're woodshedding, handling booking, handling "production" (gear).

So now you've just tried a solo gig, and it was fun and rewarding. Maybe put your energy and resources into that? Maybe you'll find a new partner (or bandmates) who are on the same wavelength and who are appreciative and respectful of what you're bringing to the dance?

No need to pour your energy into a dysfunctional situation. It sounds like you've already figured that out.

 

[Egg250]

I'm glad this didn't cost your friendship. You also showed yourself a professional by sucking it up and finishing the show.

 

[Hummergeist]

If you're working with a bandleader who likes to swap songs on the fly, and you're getting paid, then that's just part of the ride. This is not that. I would never put myself in that position twice - sabotaging a performance is unacceptable. I've been in a similar situation (although it was before the performance started), and although that person never knew about it, that was their last chance. I like to think I'm reliable, and professional, and supportive of other people, and the trade off is that I expect to trust the people around me.

 

[Marko 1]

Full band, key changes on the fly, sub player, relying on notes, setlist changes on the fly - there are plenty of reasons I agree with you (and others) completely! However, I don't see any of those factors in play here.

Two "fools on stools" who have been playing this format together for years? Not to be argumentative but I just don't see the problem.

IMHO, I don't think the song title had anything to do with what transpired.

Hey, you gave me an opening to rant about a past experience, so I took it.

 

[Griendrr]

Full band, key changes on the fly, sub player, relying on notes, setlist changes on the fly - there are plenty of reasons I agree with you (and others) completely! However, I don't see any of those factors in play here.

Two "fools on stools" who have been playing this format together for years? Not to be argumentative but I just don't see the problem.

IMHO, I don't think the song title had anything to do with what transpired.

Yeah it did. He started playing MELLOW YELLOW, it sounds just like WHAT A DAY FOR A DAYDREAM. I bet it's in the same key. We only play mellow yellow. I on the other hand play both. I have an ear, yeah I can pick it up, but this whole fiasco is way more complicated than it has to be. You're starting a song THAT YOU KNOW on your own. I ask, you tell. It's a performance aimed at the audience, always shoot for the best you can do. If I ask, you tell. No time or place for screwing around or power plays etc on the stage... it's unprofessional to start with, and it deff opens the gate for a lot more mayhem. Not rocket science....

 

[Griendrr]

Well I posted everything yesterday. Today he shows up wants to play. At the end he says he's OK if I go off with someone else but he'd hate to lose the friendship. I said it would take ten times what I get out of the partnership and I'd still take the friendship. So the bromance is mutual.

Like others have suggested, there is no chance I will ever put myself into that position again. It's simply non negotiable.

Last night was awesome. A small step but a huge step too. It worked. I'll be in my own soon enough, I'm picking up steam.

Also have two buddies that are very professional, problem there one plays out every chance he gets, solo or duo, his partner couldn't care less about playing out, he does it because he loves to play, playing out is sometimes the price he's willing to pay just to play. Two great guys.

Me and the first guy have talked and casually done a few live songs/ sets before. I said if things were to go any further then the second guy would have to be OK with it, I like them both and won't piss either off. Turns out he's fine with it, probably because I play bass and they don't partly.

It's either feast or famine usually, but my priority is solo ability. I'll work my way up from back yard parties hopefully to restaurants etc. More wiggle room when it comes to paying one guy vs two, I'd think it's easier to get booked. Yet another reason to pursue the solo act.

It's been a tough week and I've been dealing with more than one (semi) crisis, but everything is good. Thanks to you guys it went better than good. I'll go over a few more new songs tonight...

Thank You All for the responses. I think it's curious how many have had similar experiences. Maybe I really don't have a dark cloud following me every where I go

 

[pepj]

.......

Other more experienced people I know that play out have said more than once to get rid of the anchor, and I think they are right.

Just gotta keep pushing forward. We get along pretty good but in a performance setting he seems to think he just has to show up and play...I need someone who has my back, to back me both career wise and musically. He's just not capable and I accept it. I knew going in it may or may not work out. It didn't and I think knowing that was a real possibility going in made it a whole lot easier to accept....

It works or it doesn't...and unless alternatives are thin on the ground, move on.

2 gigs this weekend for me.
One I was dreading as I just couldnt get any enthusiasm for the material...plus they didn't have keys on it, so was always going to be a tough night.

And so it turned out. So, not taking any more from that band.
Therefore, I really needed a stonking gig with a pickup band to work...and in recent weeks, they are 2 for 2 on that.
Great confidence repairer so I'm not putting myself in places where it is 50-50 as to whether it is going to a good gig or not.

So definitely a plus 10 to ditch the anchors.

 

[pepj]

Re Solo's...
I check out solo's to see who can
1) sing a variety of songs.
2) manage a crowd as opposed to just being a guy in the corner that no one is much listening too
3) If the pass the above, chances are they are earning well and I cant afford them...but I could put a band around them and offer them something differnt and rewarding. I know their availability will be tight...depends what they gross per year and what they need to..

So solo guys are very attractive to band guys...duo's not so much