1st gig...at 54 years old

[ack]

Last week, my son told me that his band was asked to open up a show at a downtown Raleigh bar in early November. His band is on hiatus at this time, so he asked if he could perform using a project band.
My youngest son is the drummer in his band, so he'll use him for his project work.

He surprised the hell out of me by asking if I would play bass that night. It's a great opportunity for me to play live with my two sons. Since the songs he's using for the set are all new, I have to start from scratch and have a month to learn everything.

I'm just a hack on bass, but I really enjoy playing along to my favorite music in our jam room. Really, the only reason I started buying instruments 8 years ago was to see if my kids would get into music. They have, and I've happily become their roadie and ATM machine.

I'm a bit nervous about the gig, because here's my live/stage resume: 1 song - in front of the cleaning crew after a church variety show. 6 people folding chairs & tables and throwing away tablecloths, ignoring the band on-stage covering a song they've never heard before.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited...and nervous - I'm not one for being in the spotlight. The comforting piece of all this is that my kids wanted to do this as a 3-piece, and I'll feel a bit more secure knowing they are just a few feet away. I'm really proud of these two, and I'm going to try to practice as much as I can so I don't let them down.

We've had a brief rehearsal of 4 songs and I've recorded it and uploaded it to listen whenever I'm at work (like tonight). We also wrote down song structure and transcribed notes so I can practice on my own.

Anyway, if my nerves don't cause me to spontaneously combust beforehand, then this should be fun.
Just thought I'd share this -
-Steve

 

[Goatrope]

Cool. I'm sure you'll have a great time.

Awesome that you can share it with your sons.

 

[fretter]

if you get nervous, just think about the fact that nobody pays attention to what notes the bass player is playing. I saw a similar situation at a fair this summer, they went over great.

 

[ack]

Thanks for the tips. Hopefully, I'll get over the stage fright after we get started.
I've read a few threads on the topic on TB and it seems the general consensus is to be prepared and know the material.
That should help me relax a bit and enjoy the moment. I'd love to invite some friends to the show, but we'll see how confident I am as we get closer.

 

[StyleOverShow]

Congrats to you & the lads. Don't wait another 50 years before you play out again.

 

[hrodbert696]

Congratulations! Practice hard before, go easy on yourself during. Have fun!

 

[Polfuste]

A familly band is born ! you'll have a great time. I play sometimes with my son in law, which really can play but don't want to go out of his room with his guitar.. We have had two or three times the occasion to play both on stage in jam or "one time" bands. Each time was a blast and i remember it as if it was yesterday morning. Let's play ! and share some pics !

 

[TomB]

Cool story! I'd suggest you invite friends - they'll be more supportive than you might imagine and you'll be glad to see them. Be aware that your nerves are a good thing and will help you focus. The only other thing I can think of is not to sweat mistakes. We all make 'em all the time, on stage too - just keep on going - even try to avoid a pained expression. The audience won't care . Enjoy!

 

[Joe Nerve]

Thanks for putting a huge smile on my face. I think your post is loaded with awesomeness.

First, your kids WANT you to play in a band with them . It doesn't get any cooler than that. But more importantly, I love when I hear of people in our age group stepping out and challenging themselves with something that cuts across the grain. Pushing the comfort zone. Doing something new and challenging that most people wouldn't even consider. When I went back to college I took an acting class to challenge my shyness and stage fright. During a class one day while I was doing an exercise with another student, I heard a girl whisper to her friend, "He's good!" That might not even be what she said , but that's what I heard and it put a spark of confidence in me. I wound up doing a bunch of shows after that, landing a couple of lead roles, and having a blast - doing something I was absolutely terrified to do. I was literally shaking, noticeably, and praying non stop when the house lights went down for the opening of my very first performance. I had to walk out on a dark stage and deliver the opening lines of the show, when the lights came up. The feeling after facing a fear like that is unbeatable!

Regarding that stage fright, I was helped enormously by an acting teacher I had during my brief stint with all that. He gave a speech one day about being scared on a stage, that made me see it in a completely different light. He talked a little first about some of the greatest actors of all time who had to be literally pushed onto the stage (Sir Lawrence Olivier), but then talked about that fear as energy. He told us not to try to make it go away, but to use it instead. Be thankful for it. It tells us that we're alive, full of energy and creativity, and that everything is working just as it should be - we should be nervous! We should be scared! It's a normal human response to what we're doing! When we do that the fear can transform itself into what some people call "charisma" or "stage presence". It brings our performance to life, if and when we simply accept it for what it is. His speech was much more detailed and empowering than my synopsis of it, but my point is to just roll with it. Worst that happens is you mess up badly, and people smile in understanding giving you even more credit for sticking your neck out there like many people won't. I've probably played around 2000 gigs in my life. There are still times that I feel I'm going to crumble on a stage. Those times almost always wind up being my best performances.

Congrats on the first gig. Have a blast, and make sure ya follow up here.

 

[twinjet]

I dream of being able to raise a family of musicians. You must feel awesome!

 

[Doner Designs]

So awesome, congrats! Opportunities to do stuff like that with your kids are priceless! What's that going on with my eyes - must be onions around here somewhere.

My story is similar. I got into playing at age 50 when my son bought his first guitar. Playing and building with my son have been a great way to bridge the generational chasm. We haven't performed together yet but I'm hopeful that day may come soon.

I also had my first "gig" (at my church so calling it a gig doesn't seem quite right) a month or two ago and have been back twice so far. I was super cautious, appearing at a rehearsal with no intention of staying to play. But, it felt natural enough that I just went ahead and stayed for the service which followed right after rehearsal (ie: it will probably be easier than you think).

As someone told me, keep it simple and they will all think you are the next Paul McCartney.

Good luck, I'm sure you will do fine....but practice as much as you can!

 

[npbassman]

Enjoy being up there performing with your sons. Not a lot of people get this type of opportunity. After the first song or two the nerves will subside and I bet you'll catch the itch and want to play out a lot more after this.

Good luck and have a blast!

 

[SteveHeissner]

Excellent! Old dogs CAN learn new tricks. And what a great way to spend time with your kids. Rock on!

 

[interp]

Sounds to me like you're preparing very well. I think you'll do fine. Relax and enjoy!

 

[Ewo]

Regarding that stage fright, I was helped enormously by an acting teacher I had during my brief stint with all that. He gave a speech one day about being scared on a stage, that made me see it in a completely different light. He talked a little first about some of the greatest actors of all time who had to be literally pushed onto the stage (Sir Lawrence Olivier), but then talked about that fear as energy. He told us not to try to make it go away, but to use it instead. Be thankful for it. It tells us that we're alive, full of energy and creativity, and that everything is working just as it should be - we should be nervous! We should be scared! It's a normal human response to what we're doing! When we do that the fear can transform itself into what some people call "charisma" or "stage presence". It brings our performance to life, if and when we simply accept it for what it is.

I've been teaching undergrad speech classes at a university for about fifteen years, and that's very similar to advice I've been giving my students in one of the first meetings, every time.

It's not about shutting off the anxiety; it's about turning it into energy you can use when you're in front of the audience.

The one thing I might add is that being well-prepared for the performance helps you make that transformation. Knowing that you've put in the time and effort to meet the challenge of a performance means you _earned_ the self-confidence.

So, OP--get out there and rock da house!

 

[bolophonic]

Oh man.... I dream of this kind of thing. My sons are only two and four, so I have a long way to go. Break a leg, daddy-o.

 

[two fingers]

Great story! Just awesome!

When and where? Raleigh is a straight one hour drive for me. I may have to come check this out. (Don't worry. I won't stare at your bass hands all night. I'm not that guy.)

You'll be fine. Heck, in a three piece there's lots of musical bandwith not being used. There's lots of "space" to play around in. So even if you hit a flub note, it probably won't crash the whole song. It'll just sound like you're "in the zone".

"That dude just hit an F# under a G chord. He is OUT THERE MAN!"

 

[Barbaric.Eric]

Dude you're going to kill it! Have a blast!

 

[pedroims]

That is awesome, its kind of my dream ! I did the same as you, bought a lot of stuff hopping that my kids will get into music, so far none of them My son is into sports so I became a soccer coach. Enjoy this opportunity and congratulations

 

[EmptyCup]

You'll want to "lock in" with the drums so... oh wait, your son is the drummer!

Well it would be nice if you knew someone else in the band to calm your nerves... what, your other son heads the band?

Focus on the music and look around once in a while to see your boys on stage with you and realize how lucky you are!

I think your face will look something like this -------->

Congratulations, and enjoy your first gig!!!