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A question for the straight men.....
- Thread starter MAJOR METAL
- Start date
Oh I just remembered one, you might think is kind of funny.
It was the eighties. I was in Kansas City (near Kansas City,) hanging out by a reservoir. They didn't have lakes there, just reservoirs. I was sitting by myself looking at the sunset, and a guy approached me, and asked if I was "looking for something."
I said, "no, I'm not looking for anything," and started talking about how lovely the sunset was, and he seemed to agree, and sat with me for a while. I probably went on about what a nice day it was, and other such pleasant conversation, and finally, he got up and sounded a little irked, and said, "I WAS looking for something."
It was easily a year later before it dawned on me what he was looking for, and out of the two of us, how I was the one who probably seemed the more gay.
It was the eighties. I was in Kansas City (near Kansas City,) hanging out by a reservoir. They didn't have lakes there, just reservoirs. I was sitting by myself looking at the sunset, and a guy approached me, and asked if I was "looking for something."
I said, "no, I'm not looking for anything," and started talking about how lovely the sunset was, and he seemed to agree, and sat with me for a while. I probably went on about what a nice day it was, and other such pleasant conversation, and finally, he got up and sounded a little irked, and said, "I WAS looking for something."
It was easily a year later before it dawned on me what he was looking for, and out of the two of us, how I was the one who probably seemed the more gay.
I've known gay guys and while I was never verbally hit on I got my share of "looks" in the past. No big deal. Many years ago I was in a band and our keyboard player was gay...had a partner and we were never bothered by it. Fact is, I actually liked those two as a couple!
He passed away from AIDS in '94. Still think about ya bro!
He passed away from AIDS in '94. Still think about ya bro!
So my gals brother and two cousins are gay. When we all get together... hilarity ensues. Chris ( the brother ) used to love to try and fluster me when I was first hanging around. You know how hard it is to make a gay guy blush? Chris learned real fast I was not an easy target 
I love her family dearly and Chris is one of the coolest gents you'll ever happen across. As for the getting hit on, I'm not at all certain. I guess I can ask Chris tonight when I get home what his friends think 
I better tell my gal first...
I love her family dearly and Chris is one of the coolest gents you'll ever happen across. As for the getting hit on, I'm not at all certain. I guess I can ask Chris tonight when I get home what his friends think I better tell my gal first...
Couple of times in High School. For some reason the line of questioning was "Are you going with anybody? Are you looking at anybody? Have you been with a guy? Have you thought about being with a guy? Are you sure? Well just think about it...."
"No....just about every chick here, I'm 15 after all....no....no....Yes! Bye..."
Once on the set of ER (I was an extra), there was a 50-something gay guy there. Took me til day 3 of the shoot when he offered me money for stuff before I realized what was going on. Freaked me out. I was 18 or so at the time.
"No....just about every chick here, I'm 15 after all....no....no....Yes! Bye..."
Once on the set of ER (I was an extra), there was a 50-something gay guy there. Took me til day 3 of the shoot when he offered me money for stuff before I realized what was going on. Freaked me out. I was 18 or so at the time.
Happens rather often...moving towards a metrosexual look or vibe can sometimes come off the wrong way I guess lol.
Usually I handle it the same way I do girls flirting with me that I'm not attracted to...I'm just frank and say "Hey, appreciate the interest, but I'm not interested." and move on. Some people can't take a hint though, in that case I just avoid or walk away.
Usually I handle it the same way I do girls flirting with me that I'm not attracted to...I'm just frank and say "Hey, appreciate the interest, but I'm not interested." and move on. Some people can't take a hint though, in that case I just avoid or walk away.
slobake
resident ... something
Some of us are kind of going out of our way here to show that we have no problem with gay people. I think that is a big improvement over men who feel threatened by gay men and have to prove that they are macho or something.
There must be a lot of handsome men here, either that or we are around some very desperate gay men.
There must be a lot of handsome men here, either that or we are around some very desperate gay men.
Yup. A couple times. Back when I wore skinny jeans and straightened my hair for gigs. I can see why they would get ideas haha. But chicks dug the look too, so I kept it up.
I didn't know how to handle the situation, so I got super awkward and just avoided them while flirting with some gals. One guy was pretty persistent, though.
But I'm totally cool with them when they aren't interested in getting into my pants. My ex has gay uncles, and the more macho one is one of the coolest guys I ever met. The other was always off gossiping with the ladies haha.
I didn't know how to handle the situation, so I got super awkward and just avoided them while flirting with some gals. One guy was pretty persistent, though.
But I'm totally cool with them when they aren't interested in getting into my pants. My ex has gay uncles, and the more macho one is one of the coolest guys I ever met. The other was always off gossiping with the ladies haha.
Some of us are kind of going out of our way here to show that we have no problem with gay people. I think that is a big improvement over men who feel threatened by gay men and have to prove that they are macho or something.
There must be a lot of handsome men here, either that or we are around some very desperate gay men.
Hey,I didn't always look like three-day-old roadkill.
I'm only uncomfotable when it happens because I was molested by a guy at thirteen. However, I just tell them I'm flattered but not interested.
slobake
resident ... something
Wow, I am sorry to hear this my brother. Good for you for not taking it out on others. I hope that some day you can get completely past that experience.
I am completely past it at this point. I detest violence, and consider it a complement when someone shows interest in me, but it took years for me to get over it. I was initially suicidal over it, and never told anyone till my early forties, but luckily I was unsuccessful at my attempts.
I do a lot of musical theater, and although it is a stereotype, there are a lot of gay and lesbian thespians. I have lots of gay friends, never once have any of them hit on me. I have had a few gay men that I was friendly with, but not real friends, ask me some questions exploring whether or not I was interested in them. I just told them thanks for the flattery, but that it wasn't my thing. They were cool with that and never asked again, while we could still remain friendly. Before I was married, it was harder to refuse unwanted attention from a woman since I didn't have the excuse that I didn't play on that team. Ultimately, being kind and honest is the best way to deal with these situations regardless of gender.
Not really. There are many things worse that happen in this world. My only regret is that I never told sooner. At the time I blamed myself, and I thought my mother would have blamed me too (as she did with everything else) while my father would have killed the guy. However as an adult I wonder how many more kids lives this guy might have ruined,and if I could have made a difference.
Today's TB perspective aligner. That's a heavy thing to share. Don't take the blame, a 13 year old is ill equipped for such burdens but the adult is dealing with it perfectly.
My best friend in high school was gay (maybe bi? He dates a girl now so idk, no judgement). That being said, that explained our pre-reveal relationship quite well, at least in my eyes. Regardless, he's still a bro, and bros don't leave bros hanging, period.
Considering that I majored in theater studies in college, not nearly as much as you'd think. I must be really ugly.
The only incidents I can recall are one time a guy winked across the table at me, trying to flirt I guess. I ignored it. The second time, I was directing a play, sitting on a bench with an actor and going over a scene. All of a sudden he puts his hand on my knee. I paused... looked the hand... put it back on HIS knee... and continued talking about the scene. That was that.
Freshman year I was assistant stage manager for a show, got carried away and made out with a female stage hand backstage when there was nothing else to do. Very unprofessional. I suppose that must have gotten the word around to the gay dudes, though.
The only incidents I can recall are one time a guy winked across the table at me, trying to flirt I guess. I ignored it. The second time, I was directing a play, sitting on a bench with an actor and going over a scene. All of a sudden he puts his hand on my knee. I paused... looked the hand... put it back on HIS knee... and continued talking about the scene. That was that.
Freshman year I was assistant stage manager for a show, got carried away and made out with a female stage hand backstage when there was nothing else to do. Very unprofessional. I suppose that must have gotten the word around to the gay dudes, though.
