A stranger asked to use my gear...

[Ross W. Lovell]

Not defending the singer's friend - under those circumstanses I would have said "no" also.

But it sounds like he might have been told that it would be ok to sit in on bass.

So maybe it was arrogance, or maybe just a lack of tactfulness.

-

megafiddle, I'm sure he was told he could sit in, but that doesn't mean the bl should first, not told the bassist in the band, second, he has NO RIGHT to extend an offer of someone elses equipment, especially as he did not ask the bass player.

Better communication could have made this situation different in many ways though the outcome might have been the same.

 

[Ross W. Lovell]

Are you amazed that I would?

If some random drunk guy, with a cigarette in one hand, approaches and asks for it, I might politely refuse without the heroic "No one touches my guitar" pose. But this is a situation where an old friend of his band-mates and a fellow musician wanted to play a piece on stage. Even if I preferred he didn't, just out of politeness, I'd be glad to go along and not embarrassing him and my friends.

The BL embarassed his band member, the embarassment was due to lack of consideration.

 

[lfmn16]

We typically have an opening act and I always let them use my amp. It's an SVT with an 8X10 cabinet so I'm no too worried about them hurting it. Never my bass though.

 

[RED J]

megafiddle, I'm sure he was told he could sit in, but that doesn't mean the bl should first, not told the bassist in the band, second, he has NO RIGHT to extend an offer of someone elses equipment, especially as he did not ask the bass player.

Better communication could have made this situation different in many ways though the outcome might have been the same.

Yes, see that's the bigger problem, the presumptuousness and lack of respect of personal boundaries. I'm sure the singer and his friend were all enthused, but it was a gross lack of respect for the OP.
Nobody deserves a pass to treat someone else's rights or feelings as if they were a non entity. If they make the excuse they didn't think, well that just identifies the problem, then we can go on to an inflated sense of entitlement. Just wrong on several levels.

 

[Matthew_84]

I think I'm going to bring a triangle to future gigs for this exact reason...

"Dude, let me play your bass."
"No, but we're in desperate need of a triangle player".

 

[tubedude]

Well handled. Unfortunately under those circumstances I would likely have responded less than ideally . "A pro from Nashville! Well then, go FU@€ yourself professionally." Not ideal, but demands and unrealistic expectations are cut off at the knees to establish immediately that there is no valid claim to my posessions or time, and any negotiations for such had better start with that as the baseline.

 

[electracoyote]

Now, I don't care if this was a f-ing Stradivarius! How she was able to sleep that night is beyond me.

Puh-leese. Self-righteous much?

Look, you want to be the Mother Teresa of musicians and let everyone use your gear, good on you mate, I won't judge. It's your gear, do what you want.

But to paint people who are more protective of their stuff as some kind of moral defectives and say you don't know how they sleep at night, screw your superior attitude.

I have a lot of blood sweat tears and sacrifice invested in my gear, I decide who plays it and when, and I sleep at night just fine thank you very much Your Highness.

 

[rojo412]

I had speakers get blown twice by letting another band use my rig. So I no longer lend that out, needless to say.

But my basses... Only if I know someone very well, up to and including their financial ability to replace it.

 

[cycler]

Last night at one of our regular gigs, a bassist that played with the singer and guitarist showed up. Turns out they had not see the guy in 20 years, he had moved to Nashville years ago and has been there ever since. In the middle of the second set, the singer calls the guy to stage to play a few. He walks up to me, sticks his hand out as to take my bass and said, "let me play your bass". I shake my head and say "no", and he's says "I'm a pro in Nashville", apparently thinking that the word "Nashville" is the golden ticket. I stare him dead in the eye, lean in close, smile a bit and respond "No one touches my gear but me!". The look on the guys face when I said "no" was priceless, like he had been told that that his dog died. He stood there for a second and the said "OK" and turn to the singer, took his acoustic and proceeded to do 3 songs.

After the set, the singer asks my why I didn't let him play, that the guy has been a friend for over 20 years, I tell him that the guy is his friend, not mine, and being that you haven't talked to him in 20 years, you really don't know him anymore. Second, I don't loan gear, I don't let anyone touch my gear. End of story. He thinks for a second and says, "I apologize, I should have asked you first". Not what I expected, and tell him no problem.

I know that there have been several threads about people using gear, for those that are planning on sitting in, be smart, bring your own bass.

no problem. I let people play my bass all the time. It's just an instrument not not a $10K one at that. what's the big deal ?

 

[Zvonimir]

Puh-leese. Self-righteous much?

Look, you want to be the Mother Teresa of musicians and let everyone use your gear, good on you mate, I won't judge. It's your gear, do what you want.

But to paint people who are more protective of their stuff as some kind of moral defectives and say you don't know how they sleep at night, screw your superior attitude.

I have a lot of blood sweat tears and sacrifice invested in my gear, I decide who plays it and when, and I sleep at night just fine thank you very much Your Highness.

We can do without your testosterone here, pal. Say what you like to say by way of argument or I might have to get down to your level. God knows I can be very eloquent if I have to resort to that.

Next, it really isn't about moral superiority. I did say that if others feel like holding on to their stuff, then it was fine by me. I simply said what I would do and why. The specific sentence you're quoting though is from a situation far more extreme than what OP was involved in. This was a well-known composer known for his string music trying to explain a passage to a musician who took him as a potential threat to his instrument. This has been a nightmare to remember for everyone having to see it. And you won't look good if you try to defend her.

 

[esoxhntr]

I gig regularly in two different bands. The agreement is that NOBODY gets on stage or near gear except for members of those groups. Therefore absolutely ZERO percent chance of misunderstandings, embarrassment, or accidents. Always a personal choice of course, but IMO the BL was very wrong not to have discussed this with the OP beforehand, and the OP acted very correctly. To me, a gig is a professional engagement, not an open talent showcase.

 

[joebar]

that happened to me at a huge new years gig at a church-
I played half the set and then the other bassist played the back half of the night. I let him use my bass.
the next time I played the bass, the strings were dead; I couldn't believe it-it was like a magic trick or something.
$40 bucks gone like that.

 

[joebar]

Someone with greasy grimey hands will kill the strings after a few songs

that happened to me at a huge new years gig at a church-
I played half the set and then the other bassist played the back half of the night. I let him use my bass.
the next time I played the bass, the strings were dead; I couldn't believe it-it was like a magic trick or something.
$40 bucks gone like that.

 

[troy mcclure]

The singer was wrong for not asking 1st, however if someone in my band vouches for someone they can play my bass. I don't play high dollar gear and everything is replaceable. Not like he is going to run off with it mid gig. I suspect your singer doesn't know you well enough that no one plays your gear otherwise this wouldn't have been an issue.

 

[Zvonimir]

I let him use my bass.
the next time I played the bass, the strings were dead

This flies in the face of science. I suggest you read a bit more about the process of string corrosion. The man in my avatar was playing 20-year-old strings with generations of admirers loving his sound in the records. While this isn't something widely recommended to bass players, there's still a chance you're changing your strings way too often. No need to waste hard-earned cash like that.

 

[ThuzzleFump]

...In the middle of the second set, the singer calls the guy to stage to play a few. He walks up to me, sticks his hand out as to take my bass and said, "let me play your bass"...

Rude!

 

[Cosmo Dalton]

Well done. I had a dude hit me up one time while we were setting up the PA. I had to stop what I was doing and get him set up to play. Then he wanted a pick, which I don't play with. Then he wanted me to recognize his bastardized interpretations of Tool and Alice in Chains songs. Looking back, it's my own damn fault for playing bozo games with some dude that was fresh out and believed in the power of Psuedo-Metal. He told me all about the Ibanez he had before jail. I guess I just figured my Peavy could be replaced, but really it was a huge waste of time. Especially, since he wasn't wound real tight in the first place. First and last time I ever do that.

 

[Zvonimir]

Rude!

That's exactly what bothers me though. Are you reading it right? The singer CALLED the guy up to the stage to have him play! And he, being a bass player, went to the bassist, extending his hand for the instrument....

I would forgive him for not saying: "Do you think you might do me a favor and kindly say whether there might be a chance I could have the honor to play your bass?"

 

[troy mcclure]

I always refuse and never give a reason. I'm not learning sets, loading kit, driving hours to a gig, setting up, breaking down, driving hours home and unloading again for someone else to jump on the fun bit in the middle.
I'm not precious about kit and would certainly lend gear if another player was in trouble, but party guests asking to do a few songs can walk.

That right there is a grumpy old man. For the record, I never ask to play at someone else's gig. I get asked and usually say no thanks, I enjoy watching but there are times when ex band mates want to play a tune not on the setlist that the bass player doesn't know that I can get persuaded to play.

 

[bassjnky1]

This topic has come up several times before which has allowed me to put some thought into it over some time.
For me, it goes both ways...I would not appreciate even a little bit someone taking my place especially by ambush. And by the same token I refuse to do that to another bass player even when he insists that it' ok. I just don't do it. Too many things to go badly. I don't crave the stage time and don't need any hard feelings. My own rule...I just don't do it.