A stranger asked to use my gear...

[Johnny Crab]

All of our band members know "the rules".
If one of them asks if "so and so" can sit in it usually means they are close friends OR have business deals with them. I'll let such events, few and far between, slide and give them the cheapo that plays and sounds good to use. 99% of the time bass audio is running through a band-owned BOSE rig except for my wireless and Line 6 HD500X. I set the Line 6 on my "normal" SVT sim and let 'em go for it.

Only the(late)original bassist used my personal gear(rack rig:Line6,SansAmp,QSC2402,ACMEB2's) and that is because I knew him directly.....not a stranger. He always brought his Fender Jazz bass on those events(usually anniversary gigs).

 

[Ross W. Lovell]

You are bringing a convincing argument, Ross. I am willing to change some of my positions to accommodate it. The only question then remaining (at least as far as OP's story) is whether it is right to tell people something along the lines of "Nobody touches my bass except me" or possibly try and make it less embarrassing for all by saying something like "I wish I had another bass I could give you right now. I am super careful with this one and have this paranoid fear it might get damaged. Sorry." It's unlikely this second thing would make him feel like his cat just died. But some don't seem to care how others feel. Their choice. I do.

Well if you don't believe in the rights of personal property, this may not be the country for you.

Politeness was not used initially when asking, in my mind, so the response was not out of left field and appropriate.

I don't remember at any time becoming a musician that I was given a waiver to sign nullifying these particular rights. Remember the secret handshake and special band/gang sign, but not that.

IF I understand you correctly, the bass player's response being impolite, in your opinion, somehow renders the rights of personal property invalid in this case.

Either you believe in the rights all the time, or none of the time. Miss Manners plays no part in their existence.

Can I borrow your car for the night? Please?

 

[Ross W. Lovell]

A few weeks ago JoeNerve answered a question similar to this one involving an adolescent. While I'm honestly striving to emulate his manner and grace in doing this, haven't yet mastered that Dalai Lama-like attitude. I'm hoping the book he's writing sheds some light on how this is accomplished.

Oddly, this is more about ettiquette than that question was.

 

[Zvonimir]

Well if you don't believe in the rights of personal property, this may not be the country for you.

Politeness was not used initially when asking, in my mind, so the response was not out of left field and appropriate.

I don't remember at any time becoming a musician that I was given a waiver to sign nullifying these particular rights. Remember the secret handshake and special band/gang sign, but not that.

IF I understand you correctly, the bass player's response being impolite, in your opinion, somehow renders the rights of personal property invalid in this case.

Either you believe in the rights all the time, or none of the time. Miss Manners plays no part in their existence.

Can I borrow your car for the night?

Putting aside your suggestion that I consider leaving my country... (What a sweet thing to hear from a fellow American!)

I think your comments on "rights of personal property" are turning this into too vague a debate for me to handle. I never said OP had no right to reject someone's wanting to play it.

I question whether he did it in good taste... and I didn't feel comfortable with the way he brags about it either. Personally, I am happy to let others play my instruments and I am trilled when I get a chance to play someone's instrument which might interest me. May I feel this way?

 

[electracoyote]

The only thing that they could possibly "damage" is strings

Really?

I'd love to take you out for a beer and tell you some sad stories of how many different ways I've seen basses damaged by borrowers, and how the owner got stuck with the bill.

 

[74hc]

Your bass is private property. Therefore you set the rules however you like, whatever you like. We don't criticize, but respect other people's private property.

If it was me, I might have loaned if it was my old Hondo II, or ex-girlfriends, but not my wife nor my Fenders or Music Mans.

 

[megafiddle]

megafiddle, I'm sure he was told he could sit in, but that doesn't mean the bl should first, not told the bassist in the band, second, he has NO RIGHT to extend an offer of someone elses equipment, especially as he did not ask the bass player.

Better communication could have made this situation different in many ways though the outcome might have been the same.

I agree. It seemed like an important detail that wasn't really mentioned (whether he was told he could sit in on bass). In which case both of them must have been caught by surprise.

Mentioned it myself somewhere back there, that the singer was the one who embarrassed everybody.

-

 

[gustobassman]

OP you did the right thing in my book. My gear is MY gear for a reason.

I've got a story to tell..... I played the Napa Bottlerock fest a couple years back and we were supposed to play this after-party as well. First we headed to the after-party venue to set up our gear and then back to Bottlerock to play our set (Bottlerock stage was backlined). It was more of a convenience thing to set up for the after-party early. Anyway the day goes by and we head to the after-party venue for that gig. I was under the impression we were the only band. We arrive at the venue and not only is there a band playing with the bassist using MY rig, there's another band scheduled before us that was expecting to use our stuff as well.

Needless to say this was a surprise to ALL of us (except the singer it turns out. He ok'd the whole thing without telling anyone); my drummer is just rip-s**t furious, the guitar player was not happy and I was rather upset too. I had made it extremely clear numerous times that my gear is off limits (horrible past experiences). The first band finishes, I take my head off my cab, and the drummer clears out his cymbals and snare. We assumed the next band had their gear and didn't think twice about it. WRONG. The band that was supposed to play next didn't have these items and decided to try and shame us over the mic to a full establishment. We were all very tired from the festival, we just wanted to play and be done with it- these guys giving us a hard time over the mic was just not cool. We were getting kinda angry at this point so our road manager went to their table of merch and proceeded to start packing their stuff up and took it outside. Our road manger was about 6'2", just meathead muscle-ripped and covered in tats. These little mic-shamers were scared out of their tight little emo pants and just let him do it. It was a real clown show. Obviously they didn't play and thank goodness the crowd really didn't know what happened (it was a restaurant/bar venue and people were eating). We got up, did our set, and that was that.

It wasn't something I was overly proud of; it really wasn't the other band's fault- our singer had ok'd everything. We probably would have handled it differently had the tight pants crew politely asked to use our stuff after we took it off the stage. But, by attempting to make us look bad on the mic- that was childish and uncalled for.

 

[10cc]

You could've tuned down or up half step then handed it over. Then you'd know right off the rip if you had anything to worry about.
Who knows he might've killed it and you could possibly not be the bassist for that band anymore.

 

[Bassammich]

I don't mind letting someone use my amp .. it can take care of itself.. But for my bass, there only a few people I would trust with my bass. That includes: BassCliff, McG, Nixdad(and son), SoC9, Jimmy4string(Oh wait, he's a singer), Bassammich and Jamvan.

Thanks, dbase. After reading several threads about this very question, I look at it like this, if I know you and/or have heard you or heard of you, it's not really a problem, that being said, if you are drunk, wasted, or a complete a$$hat the answer will be NO. I will be polite, courteous, and otherwise civil, but if you don't show me respect, then I see no reason to let you get your yaya's out no matter who you or my band member thinks you are. just sayin'.

 

[MNAirHead]

It has nothing to do with being fantastic gear, I don't share my wife, my gear, my guns or my car. If you need food and clothes, no problem.

So if he brought his own bass and asked to plug in --- still problem?

This happens all the time... it's good for connecting to a crowd...

I would speak with a guy during a break to ensure he doesn't suck.

 

[marmadaddy]

I think you handled it very well. Whether or not to let the person play your instrument is a personal decision. There's no "right" answer, there's only good and bad ways to communicate it.

Personally, I've had a couple of bad experiences with this situation. To let someone play one of my instruments at a gig I have to know them and they have to be dead sober.
The singer would get a "You do not decide who uses my equipment."

 

[Texan]

So if he brought his own bass and asked to plug in --- still problem?

I don't have as much of an issue with the amp, because they would not be touching the amp.

As many has stated in this thread, the biggest warning to me was when he said "I'm a Nashville pro"...If the singer and his buddy would have approached me between sets and the guy have tried to build a rapport with me, I would have considered it. However, I am of the opinion that it is rude to sit in with someones band unless that's the plan of the show where you have several guests. I've been asked at several show to come up and site in with the band and I never do it. It's not my show, I have no business being up there.

In respect to the comment about Joe Nerve letting the kid play his bass, that's a different story. I'll always help a kid out and try to make a positive influence on their life. Most kids in that situation are much more careful than a "Nashville pro" who has been drinking.

 

[Les Ismoor]

Once, while I was doing sound for a band, the singer did the same thing (old friend, played with him in another band years earlier), but to the guitarist. Guy hands him his Les Paul Custom, dude promptly drops it and there goes the headstock. Eventually wound up in Small Claims Court where guitarist lost because he willingly handed over his guitar. But, you know, "it's only wood and steel".

No one touches my gear without my okay. I also only carry unlined fretless 5s, so I seldom get asked anyway.

 

[crguti]

you cannot play, touch or even see my bass.... said the guy playing 'gigs' in his church.

 

[EVL HULK]

Never let people borrow gear. I use to but not now. Let a relative borrow some amps.....
Was going into a music shop one day just to kill time. As soon as I got through the door I seen my guitar amp. Ask the owner about it, "yea your ****** brought it in on consignment". F that, packed it up and left. Was so pissed I decided to go get my bass amp. Got to their jam spot and noticed they were using it. Checked it over then plugged in.... Nothing. Apparently they were using it as a PA and the magic smoke appeared....never again.

Dude still borrows from every one. Last month seen him spill a beer on a dudes orange rockerveb, same night dropped and chipped the neck on a G&L l2500. Didn't even mention trying to fix or pay for his F ups. Don't loan gear
Sorry for longness

 

[bassbrad]

My main bass nobody plays but me, sorry no exceptions. Spent too much time and $ making that bass perfect for me. I am not even sure if anyone else could deal with my ultra light set up and too many knobs and switches on the bass, 4 switches 4 knobs.
That is one reason I very often bring a back up bass just in case, but even then it would not be just any one welcome. That said I would have preferred if the singer asked my permission and even better prior notice.
I did have a player try to sit in once on my fretless bass, what an embarrasing disaster for him and the band.

 

[buzzbass]

I may loan my amp, but not my basses....ever

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

If I know there will be somebody sitting in or I'm going were that may happen, I take a beater. When they sit in I tell them to please be careful with the bass, but don't touch the amp. I stay were I can see them. With no prior notice and I don't know you, not gonna happen.

 

[GonzoBfiddy]

I have refused someone. Why? I have the buckle rash on my Leo Fender Signature G&L L2000 (1993) to show from when I let a stranger sit in using my bass. I won't do it unless I personally know the player.

'PLUS 1' on the "Buckle Rash" situation. I let a cat play my bass (who I believed I knew fairly well and that also knew how to care for an instrument) at a rehearsal last year and when I got the bass back it looked as though it had been attacked by a knife-wielding psychopath (finish completely missing in some spots exposing bare wood!!!!)! He is the bandleaders' cousin so I suppose I let my guard down and I paid my 'stupid' tax as a result. A month later Cuz showed up at rehearsal again, walked up to me and just reached for my bass while I had it strapped on my shoulder and I had to almost make a scene after he didn't believe I was denying his request. After rehearsal he asked if there was a "problem" between us and I explained that he had damaged my bass the last time he touched it and that I would NEVER again let someone play my bass....no matter who it was! He responded as though he thought I was lying to him. It took the drummer to chime in and verify what he witnessed and and also telling him it was "inappropriate" to expect to handle someone else's instrument, likening it to him being intimate with another's 'significant other'. It was a hard lesson to learn but I "GOT IT" after only one time. I am reminded of "MY" mistake "EVERY" time I pull my strap over my shoulder.