A thread where I am sincerely asking for help

[DudeistMonk]

Dude you just said it...

I know I will probably be just fine but I am having some irrational fears.

You know your fears are irrational...Hell what are you even afraid of? Feeling slightly spaced out for a few minutes now and again?...Thats not really all that scary, compared to nuclear war, loosing your job, becoming a hobo, getting aids...

Seriously buddy when you feel panic-y ask yourself what the worst that could happen is, put it in prospective and then think about about something else...You can't unmake the past, and this wont be the only mistake you make in life.

 

[Nyarlathotep]

10. You begin to drool involuntarily

9. You see the Aflac duck in new, deeply profound ways

8. Your beer is so cold that it "burns" your hand

7. You understand that Dave's not there...and that's okay

6. You become aware of your tongue

5. You're convinced that the Kool Aid guy is about to burst through the wall...and you're outside

4. You suddenly have the ability to direct someone to Sesame Street

3. The realization that Casper the Friendly Ghost is a dead child bums you out

2. The band you're in starts playing different tunes

1. You forget to breathe

Casper's a dead kid????? *gets bummed out*

a little late... but I couldn't leave this thread knowing this song wasn't linked.

and plus 1 to the poster above me.

Bob Marley = If I wasn't listening to some Snoop Dee Oh Double Gee, I would prolly slap on some reggae

OK guys, I realize they aren't for me. But that cannot change what I am feeling now. All I want is just some help getting over bad anxiety. I know I will probably be just fine but I am having some irrational fears. Jeez.

You realize it, yet seem to be able to truly KNOW it. One thing that might work: Meditate. Clear your mind and just concentrate on your breathing.

I can't guarantee that it'll work, but it can't really make things worse (IMO).

Feel free to ignore me tho, since the one and only time I meditated left me more than a little freaked out

 

[Kruton]

Alright, much to everyone's annoyance, I am back. I am thinking much more logically now, but I am still having a few, ehhh, problems. I start with ones I don't really know if they are real or not.

First I always feel like things are shifting but they never look like it. It's quite odd. I am also getting weird head rushes at seemingly random times, kinda like when you first notice a little buzz after drinking. I don't know really but I suppose I could just get used to those, forget about them and move on, you know.

Here's the thing that kind of gives me the bumps. I believe I have had 3 closed eye visuals. I'll describe on for ya'll if you care. I laying in my bed (usually for a while, about an hour) and NOT thinking about anything related to the incident and it will be like part of the "darkness" that happens from closing your eyes parts like water and I will see something. Usually it takes me ~3 seconds to notice so I open my eyes and it will pass within about 2 secs. So far it has been a chandelier, a desk/room, and image of myself in an orange polo.

Do ya'll think that I am somehow subconsciously causing this or is this an actual effect? I find it hard to believe it would be an actual effect as I only took a low dose once but still.

P.S. I know this isn't a doctor's office but ya'll seem pretty knowledgeable/reassuring

Thanks

 

[Deluge Of Sound]

As far as I can tell, that's you tricking yourself.

 

[Kruton]

I have a hunch that's what it is too. BTW, you should try out for the Olympics or something you are so fast.

 

[UncleFluffy]

Glad to hear you're back and starting to level out.

As far as the occasional weird visuals go, I wouldn't worry about that either. I'd guess that it's mainly down to you paying more attention to what's going on in there. (If it stresses you out, keep some "adult literature" by the side of the bed and use that to take your mind off things when necessary. Much better than pills for chilling you out.)

 

[Ericman197]

is this an actual effect?

No.

I've never heard of HPPD being caused by such a small (threshold!), single time dose of a mild psychedelic. If it were a large dose of a research chemical, maybe. It's like asking if you could be addicted to narcotics after eating a couple of poppy seed bagels.

Most likely what you are experiencing is a combination of two things:

Hallucination by intention: At some level you want to, or expect to see things... and so you do.

or

You are misinterpreting normal visual disturbances as hallucinations. The closed eye visuals you describe don't sound particularly wacky. You might just be daydreaming. In fact some of the symptoms of 'flashbacks' and 'HPPD' occur in normal people. I sometimes see scintillating scotoma, and other features which are characteristic of psychedelic drug abuse. But these symptoms are also normal precursors of migraines, which I have had since I was a kid.

In another example, psychiatry distinguishes between illusions and delusions/hallucinations. For example, if you sit down in your car and suddenly get the feeling that there's a man in the backseat, but you turn around and there's just your jacket and some junk... that's probably an illusion. We all experience illusions from time to time. If you turned around and DID see a man there... then you may have a problem! Sometimes people who have frequent illusions think that there may be something wrong with them, but usually it's normal - as long as the illusions are brief, don't speak back to you, don't otherwise interrupt your daily life, etc.

I definitely do not recommend that you go out and do psychedelics again, but if you did, you would see that the visual disturbances are not the same as what you are experiencing.

If you said you had an intense vision of yourself in the orange polo, and you bent over backwards and flattened into a desk, then sprouted an arm from your chest which drew a chandelier in space, and then you and everything else shattered into a million multicolored fragments, each of which is either a 'yes' of a 'no,' which flew to opposite ends of the universe, came back together as one, and formed a unity... at which point you finally understood the nature of infinity, and that all the world is binary in nature... and if you experienced ALL of this while awake, in the most vivid detail of any 1,000 page book you've ever read... all in the time it took you to read that enormous sentence... THEN I would say you were trippin' balls!


This is not to say that you don't have a real problem. No one can totally rule out the possibility that there is something entirely different that is making you feel weird.

You may even have a psychosomatic disorder. If your problems continue you may need to discuss them with your doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. I can assure you that if the history you've given us is accurate, that it is very unlikely that you are suffering from a flashback disorder. However it IS possible that you have other problems (psychosomatic, schizophrenic, etc).

 

[Kruton]

Hmmmm. I think I am still trying to see something on a deeper level. I think it will happen less as I grow more confident about my days. Thanks for your post it was quite informative and made me feel even better.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

You sir were definitely NOT ready for a hallucinatory trip. This stuff will fade. Don't worry about it. Stop mulling over it and get on with your life.

 

[Ericman197]

Hmmmm. I think I am still trying to see something on a deeper level. I think it will happen less as I grow more confident about my days. Thanks for your post it was quite informative and made me feel even better.

I am not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, but what I can tell you that may be of some assistance is that ONE way of treating your problem is for you to accept that a very small dose of LSA is not harmful in the long run. Not just to recognize it as fact, but to really accept it.

I should also say that despite what I may have suggested in previous posts, it is NOT helpful to convince yourself that you are 'faking it.' Sorry if I ever came across this way, but the internet is very different from a face to face conversation.

Your problems are real, and so are your symptoms. Over time you need to realize that these problems are normal. But as long as you believe they are being caused by the LSA, they will continue to bother you. Rather than you just thinking 'oh, I thought I just saw a car, but I guess I didn't.' Most people are not bothered by illusions. When I walk into my bedroom and think I see a sinister shape lying in the shadows, only to readjust my vision and see that it is a tie rack - I think nothing of it. Whereas you might be thinking 'uh oh, I'm having a flashback.' Over time this will probably get better. There are illusions which are more characteristic of psychedelic use that I have mentioned, but so far your illusions seem to be the type which we all see and hear from time to time.

But do keep an eye on these symptoms. If they get worse, you may need to see a doctor or receive therapy. But as of now I hope this will get better on its own.

 

[Eric Perry]

You sir were definitely NOT ready for a hallucinatory trip. This stuff will fade. Don't worry about it. Stop mulling over it and get on with your life.

While cold, it's totally true, IMO.

 

[Kruton]

I am not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, but what I can tell you that may be of some assistance is that ONE way of treating your problem is for you to accept that a very small dose of LSA is not harmful in the long run. Not just to recognize it as fact, but to really accept it.

I should also say that despite what I may have suggested in previous posts, it is NOT helpful to convince yourself that you are 'faking it.' Sorry if I ever came across this way, but the internet is very different from a face to face conversation.

Your problems are real, and so are your symptoms. Over time you need to realize that these problems are normal. But as long as you believe they are being caused by the LSA, they will continue to bother you. Rather than you just thinking 'oh, I thought I just saw a car, but I guess I didn't.' Most people are not bothered by illusions. When I walk into my bedroom and think I see a sinister shape lying in the shadows, only to readjust my vision and see that it is a tie rack - I think nothing of it. Whereas you might be thinking 'uh oh, I'm having a flashback.' Over time this will probably get better. There are illusions which are more characteristic of psychedelic use that I have mentioned, but so far your illusions seem to be the type which we all see and hear from time to time.

But do keep an eye on these symptoms. If they get worse, you may need to see a doctor or receive therapy. But as of now I hope this will get better on its own.

Oh yea, I don't think that my symptoms were fake but I am starting to accept that the drug didn't do much too me. I have told my madre and psychologist about them and they both told me I shouldn't worry.

I think one of the biggest things I had to do was to stop beating myself up about taking it. Once I accepted it I learned a great deal about myself and gained some humility. I am sort of glad this happened. I am VERY happy this didn't go down next year when I will be in college.

The problem with my symptoms besides the hallucinations is that I could have very well felt exactly the same before, now I have been micro-analyzing and looking very hard for evidence to support my conclusion. As far as the hallucinations go, IDK. I am going to keep telling my mom and psychologist but I honestly think I am still somehow trying to see something. It is kind of like I will see something and open my eyes, but if you ask me in 5 minutes if I just hallucinated, I will say "I think so, but I am really not 100% sure."

And one more thing about me saying stuff is "moving". It only feels like it is moving or shifting. I never actually see anything move, it just feels like it does, it is kind of hard to describe, but I think this might fall under the micro-analyzing deal.

No matter what, ya'll have all helped, thanks again.

 

[Revvv]

You called it. You are having a panic attack. You are over analyzing everything, and with that you are blowing things out of preportion.

You are not crazy. You have an anxiety disorder. I have been there. It's all gonna be alright.

 

[edbutler3]

If you said you had an intense vision of yourself in the orange polo, and you bent over backwards and flattened into a desk, then sprouted an arm from your chest which drew a chandelier in space, and then you and everything else shattered into a million multicolored fragments, each of which is either a 'yes' of a 'no,' which flew to opposite ends of the universe, came back together as one, and formed a unity... at which point you finally understood the nature of infinity, and that all the world is binary in nature... and if you experienced ALL of this while awake, in the most vivid detail of any 1,000 page book you've ever read... all in the time it took you to read that enormous sentence... THEN I would say you were trippin' balls!

Nice! That kind of reminds me of Bill Hicks...

 

[elgecko]

Oh yea, I don't think that my symptoms were fake but I am starting to accept that the drug didn't do much too me. I have told my madre and psychologist about them and they both told me I shouldn't worry.

I think one of the biggest things I had to do was to stop beating myself up about taking it. Once I accepted it I learned a great deal about myself and gained some humility. I am sort of glad this happened. I am VERY happy this didn't go down next year when I will be in college.

The problem with my symptoms besides the hallucinations is that I could have very well felt exactly the same before, now I have been micro-analyzing and looking very hard for evidence to support my conclusion. As far as the hallucinations go, IDK. I am going to keep telling my mom and psychologist but I honestly think I am still somehow trying to see something. It is kind of like I will see something and open my eyes, but if you ask me in 5 minutes if I just hallucinated, I will say "I think so, but I am really not 100% sure."

And one more thing about me saying stuff is "moving". It only feels like it is moving or shifting. I never actually see anything move, it just feels like it does, it is kind of hard to describe, but I think this might fall under the micro-analyzing deal.

No matter what, ya'll have all helped, thanks again.

I thought we established last time that no one in the history of the world has ever "tripped" and wasn't 100% sure of it...that since you didn't experience the primary effects of the hallucinogen, there was no possible way to experience residual effects......that your quest to experience the perceived residual effects is futile...and finally, that you should NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES experiment with hallucinogens again. Seriously!

Hallucinations are great! I've paid good money to have them. But believe me, free residual hallucinations don't happen...it just doesn't work that way. Be glad you didn't trip. If not-tripping is affecting you like this, an actual trip would have left you permanently encamped in left field...I'm sure you would have found it a confusing and horrifying experience.

 

[Time Monkey]

Don't do drugs... there is no coming back from it.

 

[popinfresh]

Don't do drugs... there is no coming back from it.

Please don't tell me that was serious.

I won't state the obvious or what's already been said too much..

OP, in my experience just try to keep yourself busy. I've had freak outs after uses and I found myself wanting to trip myself out whilst lying in bed etc just so I'd know I was freaking out/panacking and not just going crazy.
To get past this I'd just spend as much time as I could with trusted friends, started yoga/working out at home and going out to play sports or whatnot when I could to keep busy. If I was home alone, just read a book or something.

The elastic band around the wrist is a good one too.

You're definitely fine though, just don't do anything heavy in future.

 

[Ericman197]

Kruton: Merely thinking an object moved is probably normal. While under the influence of LSD, or a strong flashback, you will actually SEE objects ripple, breath, pulsate, etc. I think if you actually did acid you'd think to yourself 'now THIS is a proper hallucination!' Not that I recommend it. But if you could imagine little whirpools on the ground, that's what it might be like.

I thought we established last time that no one in the history of the world has ever "tripped" and wasn't 100% sure of it...

True under most circumstances, but there are a few rare exceptions:

1. Deliriants: When you take one of these drugs, you will be unable to distinguish reality from delusion. Examples: datura, deadly nightshade, and many pharmaceutical drugs such as benadryl in high doses.

2. I've heard that inhalants such as gasoline can produce effects similar to deliriants

3. Cocaine and amphetamines can sometimes cause psychotic symptoms such as hearing voices. These people are typically aware that they took a drug, but are not aware that the voices they hear are imagined.

4. Very high doses of psychedelics such as LSD can cause a 'breakthrough.' I do not know anyone who has achieved this, but supposedly you can take so much LSD that you will be totally unaware that you exist, or that you have taken a drug. We're talking in the range of 1 to 10 tenstrips (10 to 100 doses or 500 micgrograms to 5 miligrams).

5. Dissociatives such as Salvia d. can produce intense hallucinations which are different in quality from psychedelics or deliriants, but nevertheless can be confused with reality.

6. Withdrawal from various drugs, such as alcohol.

That said, most people do not like reaching a delirious state - for all the hype, salvia isn't really that popular, and datura... forget about it. If anyone is ever thinking of trying one of the deliriants, just read the trip reports online. MANY of them involve the person winding up in jail, the hospital, or in some sort of very bizarre trouble. Though I really love this quote from one of the few people who seemed to have a good time:

"considered phoning in sick but decided against it and spent the day at work watching my compute keyboard pulse up and down and quietly observing a little deamon that would appear in patterned objects and dance around, actually quite an interesting day at work."

 

[popinfresh]

On a side note anyone want to tip in.

Whilst on schoolies (our end of high school thing here), I smoked quite a bit of herb laced (i assume) with something that made me see many a things. Everything from checkered tiles on the floor moving around and turning into whirlpools, to a right angled staircase start spiraling, my piss turning to, and visions of skaters, making rainbow trails somewhere in space, animals appearing in the shadows of my shorts and worst of all the rabbit from donny darko in the corner of my room when I went to bed, haha.

It was strange because at first it was like living in another world, then at the end it was like been stuck in a cell and not being able to get out, which i've only had with schrooms (but haven't had the first part).

I smoked with a mate, who i've been smoking with for years and he sat dead still in his chair for about 6 hours. None of us have ever been like that before.

Thoughts?

 

[elgecko]

4. Very high doses of psychedelics such as LSD can cause a 'breakthrough.' I do not know anyone who has achieved this, but supposedly you can take so much LSD that you will be totally unaware that you exist, or that you have taken a drug. We're talking in the range of 1 to 10 tenstrips (10 to 100 doses or 500 micgrograms to 5 miligrams).

Wouldn't the recognition of the lack of awareness of your own existence in effect indicate that you were aware of your existence...or lack thereof?

I've heard reports of peaks spent in fetal position, devoid of thought, language, and all external? That's gotta be getting close.