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A Very Peculiar Dilemma
- Thread starter FatBassTone
- Start date
I have a hard-coded association between "If" and Dr. Taylor's patient waiting room circa 1972 to 1980.
Reply to the OP.
Why are you entertaing this guy after what you went through.
And what gives you any hope things will be different if there was a next time.
If you want to be 'kind' you might be careful how you tell him what he did poorly, or just say nothing but thanks , not going to pursue working with him.
Most normal people will question what went wrong and how they can do it better.
Why are you entertaing this guy after what you went through.
And what gives you any hope things will be different if there was a next time.
If you want to be 'kind' you might be careful how you tell him what he did poorly, or just say nothing but thanks , not going to pursue working with him.
Most normal people will question what went wrong and how they can do it better.
Lots of bands go nowhere and never even have half a stable lineup. Sure it was a pain for you, and pretty much a waste of time, but hey, at least you got paid a little and got a cool story out of it...
I guess I would have stayed on as long as you did, presuming the other people involved were otherwise pleasant to be around and the music was to my taste. I like to give the benefit of the doubt and the second chance if I think it might be worthwhile. But I would have been out at that point, too.
Yes, I have, a couple of times in my early days. Back then, I was too inexperienced to quit when I should have.
BTW, what kind of gig only requires you to only play two songs?
You stayed in way longer than I would have. To give you an idea, I was invited to play bass in a band that had a gig coming up. I went to the first practice and it was too loud. I asked them to turn down. Went to the second practice: same thing. Third time, I didn’t ask, I packed up and left. They were POd but hey, I asked them politely twice.
I’m not young anymore. I have no patience for immaturity.
I’m not young anymore. I have no patience for immaturity.
Now that's funny.
For me it's Dr. Prost's office and "Just the way you are". Every time I hear that, I'm sitting in that waiting room looking at a "Highlights" magazine.
Stupid is subjective - you get to decide that.
Sure, I have experienced similar things. Musicians are some of the most consistently unreliable people I've ever worked with. Not all of them of course but damn if 90% of them don't live with their heads permanently in the clouds.
First, no I've never experienced something that bad, because I never let anything get that far. Are you stupid? That's harsh, but I would say it depends on whether or not you learned anything from this. I think the number one thing you need to learn is to trust your gut. When he said you were doing an "exposure" gig playing acoustic music under your metal band's name, that was your clue that he has no idea what he's doing and it's time to bail.
Too many people stay in stupid situations because 1) they made a commitment and 2) they've already invested time in it. Well, a commitment goes both ways. When someone changes the conditions under which you made your commitment, you no longer have a commitment. If you join a band with two guitars and a drummer, and suddenly there is only one guitar and no drummer, that's not the situation you made a commitment to. As to time invested (not your situation), it's really the dumbest reason to stick with a situation. You wasted a year so you should waste another year?
Last, a band isn't a marriage, you didn't commit until "death do you part." It's a relationship of mutual benefit. If you are no longer getting what you need from the band, find a new one.
Based on what I tend to see in responses to these kinds of threads, I'll stick around longer than most. I can take slow progress and chaos as a bands trying to get its foundation. HOWEVER, the blatant unprofessional way that the acoustic gig went with not knowing the music and being that ridiculously late would've been my limit. I'm fine with spending the time if it's taking longer than I'd like (most things in life do take longer than you want them to), but when it starts beansing up your own reputation in the scene that's a different situation. I wouldn't want to be lumped in with "43 minutes late and doesn't know his set" for word of mouth. Once something like that takes root it's hard to overcome.
As far as the whole "for exposure" gig thing goes, I get that you can't pay mortgage/rent with exposure. Most of us don't use gig money for that anyways. That all depends on if it's a bother to you. For me, music money is bonus money since being overly concerned about profiting when trying to be in a working band burned me out. So money worries with my bands are very disinteresting to me. On the other side of the coin there's other folks here who find the concept of not walking out without a specific number in cash in their pocket a complete nonstarter, and good for them. It's a personal thing.
As far as the whole "for exposure" gig thing goes, I get that you can't pay mortgage/rent with exposure. Most of us don't use gig money for that anyways. That all depends on if it's a bother to you. For me, music money is bonus money since being overly concerned about profiting when trying to be in a working band burned me out. So money worries with my bands are very disinteresting to me. On the other side of the coin there's other folks here who find the concept of not walking out without a specific number in cash in their pocket a complete nonstarter, and good for them. It's a personal thing.
