Alcohol broke up my band - backwards

[pudgychef]

.

They're constantly having couple-drama that spills over onto the stage. She's stuck to him like glue, watching like a hawk..... is he going to DRINK, is he talking too much to the bass player.....who DRINKS & cusses & rips a rebel yell once in awhile?

I just got tired of the crap. Me & the drummer quit, but we have one more gig, Halloween..... at least i think we still have a gig. Looking for another band, professionals this time, not living-room couple with Dramatic Issues.
Lesson: I overruled my initial feelings of "not gonna fly" about her because I'm a sucker for a good guitar player, and the guitar player/drummer/me had the Tight Thing going.

to play devil's advocate:

1) did the drummer also want to quit or did his over sensitive/dramatic wife make him?

2) this belief that she is worried about her hubby talking to you too much comes off a bit drama queen or cat-ish

3) although I don't agree - some of those 'professionals' you may be looking to form a new band with will likely view having beer or weed at rehearsals to be well... 'unprofessional'

 

[pudgychef]

When you say that, its a form of political correctness (aka self righteousness). So it's a wash.

 

[Stranger Danger]

to play devil's advocate:

1) did the drummer also want to quit or did his over sensitive/dramatic wife make him?

2) this belief that she is worried about her hubby talking to you too much comes off a bit drama queen or cat-ish

3) although I don't agree - some of those 'professionals' you may be looking to form a new band with will likely view having beer or weed at rehearsals to be well... 'unprofessional'

Are you saying girl bands have more drama??
Thats prejudiced.

 

[jordak]

Start writing songs with your husband/drummer and recruit a good guitarist/singer. You can then form a trio and have creative control over who's in the band, how they dress, act on stage, etc...

 

[Blueszilla]

You guys sound like your all in that 50 year old range.

At that age you shouldn't be smoking or drinking at gigs or rehearsals

According to who? Please qualify this with "IMO" or an equivalent.

 

[Stranger Danger]

50 yr olds shouldn't wear spandex.

 

[aborgman]

Are you saying girl bands have more drama??
Thats prejudiced.

Prejudice: an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

Not prejudiced, because I have reason for thinking that.

 

[Staccato]

Geez!

Nothing worse than people that used to drink a beer, and now-can't stand to be around one, or those that are adamately opposed to someone that enjoys drinking a beer-being around them!

This kind of reminds me of those that quit drinking because they couldn't control their limit, and the way some of them react to those that don't drink to excess-as if anyone that drinks reminds them of who they used to be...life's too short...

 

[CapnSev]

Its not at all if there is any level of maturity involved. Its only tough to deal with opposing lifestyles and values if one feels the need to push theirs on other people.

Call me crazy, but I'd wager to say that there was a little bit of pushing on both sides in this situation.

 

[Stranger Danger]

Prejudice: an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

Not prejudiced, because I have reason for thinking that.

You know I was kidding, right?

 

[MatticusMania]

Call me crazy, but I'd wager to say that there was a little bit of pushing on both sides in this situation.

Could be. I wasnt there, but I didnt get that from the OP. I dont particualrly view "I like to drink at my gigs" as pushing ones lifestyle choices onto others, though.

 

[jnuts1]

You guys sound like your all in that 50 year old range.

At that age you shouldn't be smoking or drinking at gigs or rehearsals

who made you the fun police?

 

[Joebone]

You guys sound like your all in that 50 year old range.

At that age you shouldn't be smoking or drinking at gigs or rehearsals

Sez Who?

 

[jnuts1]

sez the dude with wine in his name

 

[Joebone]

sez the dude with wine in his name

I guess that's what happens when you drink the blue stuff!

 

[Monsterbass74]

That sucks, man. I had a band where the leader had his sister in the band just for female vocals. It was all she did. Showed up and sang her 4-5 songs, sat in between songs, bragged, and was paid equal. She sang well, but was lacking in everything else (oinked, waddled and belched). It was the main reason why I quit.

I think it's ok to drink, but the drummer we had was an anxiety ridden top shelf drunk. Awful breath too... imagine playing through "Things Can Only Get Better" and you notice the smell burped up Grand Mariner with this dental and stomach rot funk intermittently ALL NIGHT... that plus a singer who sounded like Buster Bunny from Tiny Toons.

Kinda why I subconsciously stepped out of the gigs.

 

[Stranger Danger]

That sucks, man. I had a band where the leader had his sister in the band just for female vocals. It was all she did. Showed up and sang her 4-5 songs, sat in between songs, bragged, and was paid equal. She sang well, but was lacking in everything else (oinked, waddled and belched). It was the main reason why I quit.

I think it's ok to drink, but the drummer we had was an anxiety ridden top shelf drunk. Awful breath too... imagine playing through "Things Can Only Get Better" and you notice the smell burped up Grand Mariner with this dental and stomach rot funk intermittently ALL NIGHT... that plus a singer who sounded like Buster Bunny from Tiny Toons.

Kinda why I subconsciously stepped out of the gigs.

Is this Gene Simmons?

 

[jazzbo58]

She didn't break up the band because of beer. She broke up the band because you're a woman working with her man. Drama Queen 101.

+1!

Cheers,
Jim

 

[Doctor Dirt]

Theres no way I'd give any time to one female in a band let alone two!!! No offense but thats a tuff road to ride and most men in music feel the same way in my opinion. Unless their hiring and the pay is right theres no way I adventure into the music business with females.
As for drinking on the band stand!!! If your working dumps and dives I guess its ok if you NEED to drink. There isn't that many jobs I can think of that allow employes to drink while their on the clock. Oh thats right ....dumps & dives!
Doc.

 

[mellohawk]

I disagree. When Im 50 I'll still be smoking and drinking at gigs and rehearsals, as Ive always done.

Agreed. ^^

Hey, as long as you're an adult and you're responsible, it shouldn't be an issue. But... there are those who will take it upon themselves to act as judge and jury and will vehemently crusade for the 'cause'. Why? 'Cause' somehow it makes them feel superior to those who don't fit their lifestyle.

@ the OP:

There seems to have been a moral dilemma causing friction between personality types here. Just another cross-section of human society, if you will. Glad you moved on, and I hope you'll be happy.