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Alcohol broke up my band - backwards

#41
Doctor Dirt said:
Theres no way I'd give any time to one female in a band let alone two!!! No offense but thats a tuff road to ride and most men in music feel the same way in my opinion. Unless their hiring and the pay is right theres no way I adventure into the music business with females.
As for drinking on the band stand!!! If your working dumps and dives I guess its ok if you NEED to drink. There isn't that many jobs I can think of that allow employes to drink while their on the clock. Oh thats right ....dumps & dives!
Doc.
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I disagree. I'm in a trio now, and I'm the only guy. Granted, the other 2 are sisters, and they get along perfectly. They are also 2 of my best friends as well as 2 pf my fiance's b est friends. We have fun. We don't let drama be an issue...

Oh.. and we drink beer ;)
 
#42
"...the lead singer chick is hysterically opposed to drinking. She's the clingy psycho-girlfriend to the guitar-player who is an abstaining alcoholic."

That's the problem, not alcohol. Relationships within a band never work out. Either the couple splits, or the band does. I've seen it happen many times. Good riddance, I say. Next time you'll know to avoid a situation like this.
 
#43
Quoting the OP

clingy psycho-girlfriend to the guitar-player who is an abstaining alcoholic

Even without the guitar player being an abstaining alcoholic. It sounds like it was doomed from the beginning. It would only have been a matter of time before someone said something to the singer then the guitar player stands up for her, feelings get hurt, she starts crying, he gets mad, she takes her mic and cables, he takes his toys, and says, "If we leave, we're not coming back." You say, "Fine, Leave." He says, "I mean it". You say " I heard you the first time." and He storms out of the basement of the X-Rated movie theatre rehearsal space.....( See the movie ROCKSTAR);)
 
#46
bassbully said:
Sorry, dont agree at all. There is nothing wrong with a band having a few drinks at a gig... 50 or not. My band always has a few and they often are part of out pay for the night (perks) so we take our cut :smug:
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Maybe thats why I kep getting the blow off. I don't drink or smoke anything.

I have never been drunk ot stoned in my whole life and I grew up in the late 60s and early 70s when everybody was high.
 
#50
I would say couples in a band is dumb, but I read that your hubby is the drummer...so its all good! =)

Honestly though, she obviously sounds like the kink in the hose. She's probably adamant about being in the band to keep him sober or off of other women, but she can do that from the crowd while enjoying the music you guys are playing. Telling you what to do (when not a performance-inhibiting issue) is crossing the line in anybody's territory. If this was a touring bassist gig for a well-established solo artist and you were making $80k a year to do that, I could see that...but not in this case.
 
#53
Staccato said:
Geez! :eyebrow:

Nothing worse than people that used to drink a beer, and now-can't stand to be around one, or those that are adamately opposed to someone that enjoys drinking a beer-being around them!

This kind of reminds me of those that quit drinking because they couldn't control their limit, and the way some of them react to those that don't drink to excess-as if anyone that drinks reminds them of who they used to be...life's too short...
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There's something worse for people like me. I don't drink. What's worse is the people who insist you have a drink with them, and become offended when you decline the offer. Some people won't drop it, and become obnoxious about it.

I drank until about 30 years ago, when I just gave in to the fact that I don't like the taste of alcohol and I don't like the high. Since 1982, I've had one beer (on July 5, 1987) and one bourbon and water (some time in 1993). Each time I was reminded of why I don't drink.

I don't like drunks, especially when they screw up the band.
 
#54
Munjibunga said:
I don't like drunks, especially when they screw up the band.
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+100

Alcohol on stage while gigging, IMO, is a no win situation. Doesn't look professional and since it doesn't add to the band working environment, I'd veto it.

I mean, can't you wait until after the gig? Why would anyone want to play in a band with someone who is getting drunk on stage while you're working? If it's such a big part of the gig and you can't/won't stop, then it's a problem.

Let's extend this a bit, how about someone who takes various pills during the gig? or smokes weed during breaks? Or someone who has a piece of pizza on a plate and eats it off and on during the gig? Or who picks their nose constantly? Or anyone of a million other odd habits that get suppressed while working?

Drinking during employment is not accepted pretty much every where so why should it be accepted on stage?

What if everyone in the band did this at every gig/rehearsal? Guess it wouldn't be much of a band. More of a drinking party. With beer bottles on everyone's amp, how professional would that be?

Seems to me that the sober people in the band are keeping the gigs coming.

Guess you'll move on until you find a group of drunks/druggies that you can hang out with and try to play music.

Good luck and lets us know how it works out for you.

PS. Do whatever on your own time. No problem with that. Leave it at home while working.
 
#56
Stumbo said:
Or someone who has a piece of pizza on a plate and eats it off and on during the gig?
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Seriously, I was in a band where the drummer would have food delivered to the stage and use his floor tom as a side table.

I have the pictures.

I think the rules and attitudes you describe are fine for a national act, top tier performance acts or in certain situations, like a wedding reception. But for some of us, playing in places described by someone else as "dumps and dives," having a beer onstage is practically expected, and certainly doesn't detract from the image of the band.

Applying a blanket "no drinking while playing" attitude for all situations is short-sighted. People in this debate often attempt to draw a comparison between drinking on stage and drinking in other "employment situations." If a company said it was okay to have a beer while working at your desk, some people would do it. And if it's okay with the boss, who can say it's not?

I did sub work at a software company that had a tap in the break room, free to anyone after 4:00 pm. Your comparison would be like an employee there telling another employee they shouldn't drink on the job... when the boss is providing the beer. "You shouldn't drink on the job." "The boss gave me the beer!" Ridiculous!

When the bar owner gives us free beer as part of our compensation, I think drinking on the job is okay with the boss.

Getting drunk to where it affects your ability to play, however, is a different story, and that is definitely not cool.
 
#57
bluewine said:
Maybe thats why I kep getting the blow off. I don't drink or smoke anything.

I have never been drunk ot stoned in my whole life and I grew up in the late 60s and early 70s when everybody was high.
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Not true. I have played with quite a few who never drink and most don't smoke. I wont play with anyone who does drugs and if someone doesnt drink...great! It makes no diff to us at all. If you drink too much then we have an issue.
 
#58
bluewine said:
Maybe thats why I kep getting the blow off. I don't drink or smoke anything.

I have never been drunk ot stoned in my whole life and I grew up in the late 60s and early 70s when everybody was high.
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I barely drink and I don't smoke, but other members in my band do. I couldn't care any less. As long as it doesn't interfere with the band it's not a problem to me.

If they mess up because they are messed up, its a different story. I haven't been in a band like that since I was in high school, and even then you couldn't really call it a band.
 
#59
Doctor Dirt said:
Theres no way I'd give any time to one female in a band let alone two!!! No offense but thats a tuff road to ride and most men in music feel the same way in my opinion. Unless their hiring and the pay is right theres no way I adventure into the music business with females.
As for drinking on the band stand!!! If your working dumps and dives I guess its ok if you NEED to drink. There isn't that many jobs I can think of that allow employes to drink while their on the clock. Oh thats right ....dumps & dives!
Click to expand...

bassman314 said:
I disagree. I'm in a trio now, and I'm the only guy. Granted, the other 2 are sisters, and they get along perfectly. They are also 2 of my best friends as well as 2 pf my fiance's b est friends. We have fun. We don't let drama be an issue...

Oh.. and we drink beer ;)
Click to expand...

I agree. I dont think as many men have an aversion to working with women as Doc seems to think there is. I also play in a band with a female guitarist, and theres not been any drama caused because of her.

bluewine said:
Maybe thats why I kep getting the blow off. I don't drink or smoke anything.

I have never been drunk ot stoned in my whole life and I grew up in the late 60s and early 70s when everybody was high.
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Nah, blue, you won't get blown off for not drinking or getting stoned, so long as you dont make an issue with others in the band drinking or getting stoned. More for us!:p
Munjibunga said:
I draw the line when alcohol diminishes the performance of a band member. If the drinking causes missed entrances, forgotten lyrics and the like, they're not long for the band.
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Absolutely. If your vices cause you to suck, on stage, you should probably abstain (if you can't keep it under control).
 

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