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Am I Wrong to Walk Away
- Thread starter Dark Star Wars
- Start date
If it were me and I committed to the NYE gig, I’d play it and then quit.
I’ve only quit one band in my tenure, and they had a gig coming up that I bailed on. I told them three times at three practices that they were too loud. It fell on deaf ears
so I bailed. It just turned into volume wars and I’m too old for that crap.
I’ve only quit one band in my tenure, and they had a gig coming up that I bailed on. I told them three times at three practices that they were too loud. It fell on deaf ears
so I bailed. It just turned into volume wars and I’m too old for that crap.
I'd do NYE, then bail. Even if they have gigs booked after that you're not obligated to stay in a suk situation.
Just my opinion. I'd play out any gig you committed to and make it clear that since you aren't happy with the situation you're out after that. No harm in that. Seems you and BL are on different paths.
If you said you'd do the gig, do the gig and let them know you're done afterwards.
I always wonder when we get these ' do I live with this, or do I quit?' threads, when the deal finally goes down, the guy goes to the BL and says 'I'm outa here, those guys on TalkBass said to GO'.
Most of us have been there, done that, and there's no way we can possibly know what's in your heart, the whole story, etc.
Either it's something you can (grudgingly) live with (don't want to get the rep that you quit at the drop of a hat, you're too fussy about things, gotta hang with it as I need the money, wife told me I better NOT quit, and on and on), or it's something you just can't live with (too much back-stabbing, you have plenty other gigs, you honored your commitments and you can walk away clean, those guys are known clowns, etc.).
Ultimately, only you can know what's the best course for you.
Most of us have been there, done that, and there's no way we can possibly know what's in your heart, the whole story, etc.
Either it's something you can (grudgingly) live with (don't want to get the rep that you quit at the drop of a hat, you're too fussy about things, gotta hang with it as I need the money, wife told me I better NOT quit, and on and on), or it's something you just can't live with (too much back-stabbing, you have plenty other gigs, you honored your commitments and you can walk away clean, those guys are known clowns, etc.).
Ultimately, only you can know what's the best course for you.
Short answer: Give your notice but offer to play NYE or any other gigs booked for January.
Odds are good the guy that said it played bass. He was wise after all...
I'm selfish. For me a new years eve gig is about the money. Play like you're auditioning for your next band.... You might be. Of course... you might be auditioning for a band that couldn't find a gig on new years eve.
A few years ago, I was auditioning for a band. It was kind of a ****show from the beginning, the BL had just bought a bunch of new gear and wanted to do everything through IEM's, but he couldn't get mine to work. Anyway, we finally get to playing a song and the drummer is barely able to keep a straight beat. To make matters worse, he was trying to sing backup and had to turn his head to reach the mic, but every time he did this, he lost the tempo. Turns out that it had nothing to do with singing, every time he moved his head he lost the tempo. So, I told him that, he looked at me like he had no clue what I was talking about and the BL did the same. Packed my stuff and got out of there. BL still contacted me the following day to see if I was interested in joining. Did I mention the BL sang and played flute...he was no Ron Burgundy. It is bad to play with a bad drummer, it's worse to play with a BL who does not recognize the fact that the drummer is bad.
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Well, you did say in your first post that you are emotional, immature and a little crazy, (I relate) and that the BL would find a sub bass but not a sub drummer. Maybe you could avoid some of the mistakes I've made by just shutting up and seeing how the gig goes before you make any major moves.
Best way I know of for getting along with a band leader is to be competent, reliable, and a team player. The less drama the better. Having said that, I obviously know nothing about your situation except a few paragraphs in your posts, so I won't presume that my opinion is of much use.
Playing with a drummer who has timing issues is misery, and you seem to be saying this guy isn't showing improvement. I think if I was your BL, I might recomend you and the drummer practice together and work things out. It might motivate him to improve, and you may also benefit.
Good luck!
Tom
Best way I know of for getting along with a band leader is to be competent, reliable, and a team player. The less drama the better. Having said that, I obviously know nothing about your situation except a few paragraphs in your posts, so I won't presume that my opinion is of much use.
Playing with a drummer who has timing issues is misery, and you seem to be saying this guy isn't showing improvement. I think if I was your BL, I might recomend you and the drummer practice together and work things out. It might motivate him to improve, and you may also benefit.
Good luck!
Tom
Good drummer got dropped because BL didn't want to pay him what he's/she's worth.
I believe that drummers make or break a band. If you have a bad drummer there is nothing a band can do to fix the songs. The opposite is true. If you have a great drummer (one that does not overplay) then the bass locks in, the rhythm guitar locks in, the other instruments lock in and the song grooves.
Bottom line: regardless of the specifics, if you're not happy with a band and you honestly don't see a resolution with your issues, it's never wrong to walk away.
Honor any commitments you've made and move on to something that makes you happy. This business does not pay anywhere near enough to suffer through undesirable bandmates.
Honor any commitments you've made and move on to something that makes you happy. This business does not pay anywhere near enough to suffer through undesirable bandmates.
Is it worth trying to get the BL / band together for a dressed rehearsal for the the NYE gig? That will answer all of your concerns. If the BL is that confident in this guy he should try to arrange it. Unless the other members are blind they may be onboard for it too. I know if someone wrecked a gig for me once, I would want to see proof of improvement before giving a higher profile gig commitment. If not I would tell him to get a sub bass player and call it done.
Maybe make the best of it since the gig is so close. Is it possible the drummer is working hard and getting better? Have you had any rehearsals lately? Is he improving? If he just doesnt have it and never will, move on after NYE show. How do others in band feel?
Good Luck...
Good Luck...
Seeing as it's December 19th, you are not doing yourself any favours by bailing on a NYE show. After it's done, you are entirely justified in saying "This drummer is not cutting it, and I won't do another sub par show".
Don't burn a bridge. Fulfil your obligation and move on - for a legitimate reason.
If I had committed to the NYE gig
with the previous drummer then that drummer was replaced with someone else who’s seemingly not up to the job I wouldn’t sweat walking away, just me…
I won’t perform on stage with a subpar drummer, it’s too painful, unless maybe it was with my brothers kids or somthin.
with the previous drummer then that drummer was replaced with someone else who’s seemingly not up to the job I wouldn’t sweat walking away, just me…
I won’t perform on stage with a subpar drummer, it’s too painful, unless maybe it was with my brothers kids or somthin.
