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Am I Wrong to Walk Away

#61
I had a guitar player bring in another singer (who was great) to move the former singer (who was ok) to drums so “we” could fire our former drummer.

He sucked on drums, and I also got the “he’s practicing” line, but he was practicing at home with sticks on pillows and other stuff. Unbelievable. We had a kit at the rehearsal spot he’d use there. Anyway, during rehearsals I didn’t point out his mistakes or anything, I just showed up, did my best, and went home, keeping my mouth shut. The guitar player and the “new drummer/former singer” were best buds, and eventually the guitar player started texting me to tell him honestly what I thought of the drummer’s capabilities. I can’t tell a lie. The guitar player quit the band, taking both the new singer and the former singer with him, leaving me with the rhythm guitar player. We didn’t have any gigs because the guitar player was in all other ways a perfectionist, so I recognized we were doomed to be forever gigless, and that was not what I was looking for.

Anyway, NYE isn’t far off - might as well do the gig, take home that sweet sweet NYE gig pay, and *then* quit, immediately after the cash is in your hand or bank account. You could always wear a mask on stage, but you might as well get paid and not have other band mates blackball you for ditching a gig on them.

Unless they’re threatening to sub you, ask if they’d rather have a sub play for you on NYE, or have you play, because nobody has to live with that kind of threat hanging over their head.
 
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#66
Like many have suggested, playing the gig (and potentially any others very shortly following the NYE gig) would be the way to not leave them high and dry. They'll be sour, but should also be grateful that you didn't just tell them to figure it out. Personally, I'd play my cards real close to my chest on this one. Had a drummer that was really flaky in an originals band and was pushing my guitarist that we needed a replacement. Guitarist wanted to wait and push them. They got better. WAY better to the point we were exceptionally tight on stage.

Since you've already got the gig booked, I'd see what the deal is even if you intend to quit. Some people get complacent. We aren't all paragons of focus and professionalism at all times. It's entirely possible they didn't think they were gonna bomb like that and that they've been really woodshedding. It's also entirely possible that they're a chronic procrastinator and will be like the last drummer I jammed with who spent more time complaining and sucking so hard they'd end up with their down beat on the up beat more than half the time we'd try to run a simple 4 on the floor song. It may be embarrassing but it'll be good karma in the scene and you can always bail afterwards if it's the same story (or BL will fire them, who knows). Do report back though!
 
#67
Bailing on a NYE gig only 2 weeks away? Bad form in my book. I'd do the gig, bite my tongue, and if he still stinks (likely), give notice. The last band I left (I was moving out of state) had a bunch of gigs booked. I gave 3 months' notice, so they could transition smoothly. The drummer to this day is one of my best friends! Still friendly with the singer too.
 
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#69
Harper said:
It's not your full time job is it? You owe them nothing. Walk.
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Here's a scenario. You're volunteer-coaching a youth team-sports team.

Not just any youth sports team, the worst sports team in the league, with players who have either no willingness or ability to improve.

The last game of the season is coming up in 2 weeks and you really wish you could be doing anything else rather than coaching that game.

Do you ditch out of your commitment to be there for that game because it's not your full time job?

If no, how is that different from leaving those same kids holding the ball just because they're now adults?

Commitments are commitments, regardless of whether or not they're tied to a full time job.

Want out? The reason we give notice and honor immediate commitments in full time jobs is because it's the right thing.
 
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#70
Maybe have a rehearsal BEFORE New Years Eve to evaluate where it's actually at then decide?
Dark Star Wars said:
Been playing in a cover band for about 3 months. When I joined the drummer (who was also new) was 100 percent on point. True pro. Because he wasn't always available, BL brought on a new drummer. Defiantly a big step down. Last week we played a nightmare of a show, drummer didn't even know basic parts (on a song that start with drums and then bass no less). tempos were off, kept slowing down.

I was super pissed.

I tell BL - hey man you need a new drummer, he insists on working with this drummer sending me texts saying "Drummer has ben practicing 4 times this week and I think hell be good to go for NYE show."

I told him "Drummer has had 3 months to learn this, I don't see him magically learning and improving in 15 days, when he couldn't or wouldn't do it in 3 months."

He won't get a sub for drums - but he will get a sub for bass (me) I know I'm emotional and immature and fairly crazy (esp about bands) but I'm torn between wanting to play the NYE show, and continue with the band, OR trusting my instinct to know that drummer won't cut it, and at BEST maybe squeak by.
AM I being to harsh to tell BL - "current drummer failed, he sucked on stage at a gig, and that's game over for me. Happy to play with a good drummer but his guy stinks and has had 3 months to get it toethgert..

BL says "I know you don't think he can do it, but I believe he can..."

TLDR: new drummer ruined a show because he didn't know songs and dragged the tempo, but now after 3 months, he will magically learn the songs and be ready for a gig in 15 days. I like playing with the band but this new drummer sucks. Should I pass on this gig and possibly this band until they get a decent drummer.



Sorry for the blog, but BL thinks drummer is improving and will be ready , I just don't see that happening...
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#73
Not me, but a friend is in a situation.

He formed a band with a lead guitar player planning to play a mix of contemporary alt.country and classic honky tonk and country rock and ended up with a bass player who is a heck of a nice guy but very much classic rock-only oriented and a drummer with similar taste. I have been to see them several times now and at this point they are playing standard bar band cover tunes like "Driving my life away," "Little sister" and "Dead Flowers."

Now that is fine in my opinion, if that is exactly what you want to do, but my friend who plays rhythm guitar, mandolin and sings in the group has confessed that it really isn't the band he set out to form.

I haven't told him yet as I don't know how to do it delicately, but the drummer drags. He's behind the beat on every song. It makes the whole package sound like it is gummed up with molasses in the gears.

He has mentioned to his guitar player that the group isn't what he had hoped it would be but the guitar player just shrugs and says "What are we gonna do at this point in our lives, start a new band?" Everybody is about 65 or older. I would say "Yeah - Do it. If I wasn't involved in three projects already I'd join.

The lead guitarist is a rare one who can get the sound he wants but he plays at such a low volume that I want to ask him to turn up.
 
#75
Biggbass said:
Life is too short to play with bad drummers.
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There are many good drummers out there. We've always looked for drummers that were trained, or schooled, and come with experience and a repertoire in many different styles because we were a variety dance band with a large and varied repertoire.

Note for note copy band? No. DJ's have that covered.
 
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#79
MichelD said:
I haven't told him yet as I don't know how to do it delicately, but the drummer drags. He's behind the beat on every song. It makes the whole package sound like it is gummed up with molasses in the gears.
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There's a local bluesy Trio around where I live, the lead guitar/singer is fairly well known and has a following and the bassist is right on the money. But they could really use a different drummer I don't know if the drummer is a relative or what but he is not up to par. At all. As much advertisement as this trio enjoy along with a fairly good amount of venues that drummer should have been replaced long ago... I was gobsmacked the first time I got around checking them out.
 
#80
Engle said:
Seeing as it's December 19th, you are not doing yourself any favours by bailing on a NYE show. After it's done, you are entirely justified in saying "This drummer is not cutting it, and I won't do another sub par show".

Don't burn a bridge. Fulfil your obligation and move on - for a legitimate reason.
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Agreed, except I would tell them NOW, so they get the message loud and clear and so they can look for another bassist.
 
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