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Am I Wrong to Walk Away
- Thread starter Dark Star Wars
- Start date
This would be my suggestion as well. If rehearsal is not possible, ditch 'em, there's no real commitment in the band.
I've bailed on a band two weeks before a gig. The drummer we had couldn't make it, and we couldn't rehearse with a sub before. BL insisted on the gig, but I refused. I think they found a sub bass, don't really care. I still keep in touch with the original drummer, we locked in good, we might go ahead and start something new next year.
OOOH! Great idea.
I'd be out of there. Life's too short to play with inferior players when you had the good drummer first. If you stay, you'll never be happy.
Yeah, there's a difference between a step down and someone who's defiant about it!
Seriously, I wouldn't walk away. You're hurting the band and the venue. If you made the commitment to play, walk away after the show, not before.
That's a terrible comparison.
If the BL is willing to sub the bassist but not the drummer, I'd say a line in the sand has already been drawn by the other party.
Personally I’d never walk from a job 2 wks out unless there was a life-threatening event or illness. If you do, then the failure of the gig is on you, not the drummer. Keep your commitment then walk. You admitted upfront that you’re immature and emotional, no one likes being in a band with someone like that. Learn from this experience, you;lol benefit in the long run.
Restating the point I made in my response you quoted and left out:
Commitments are commitments, regardless of whether or not they're tied to a full time job.
Want out? The reason we give notice and honor immediate commitments in full time jobs is because it's the right thing.
What about the OP's part in it where he mentioned having been emotional and immature in his band dealings?
When that's been my problem in the past, the most self-sabotaging thing I could've done - 'cus I've done it - would've been to blame others instead of pausing/stepping back from perceived lines-in-the-sand, instead of addressing my part in it.
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That's fair. Sorry if I sounded harsh, I just hate to see people talk themselves into staying in bad situations.
Not wrong at all my man. This happened to me with a guitar player in a band I really enjoyed playing in, who was causing a ton of dissonance and chaos every time we practiced.
Him and the band leader were friends however and there was just no point in trying to sway the BL on making a decision. So in the end I trusted my instincts, and just bounced.
Life’s been remarkably better ever since and I get more enjoyment out of playing without having that yuck in my gut… because life’s too short, ya dig?
*But do it after the gig/prior commitments. It’s not gonna kill you to finish-out strong & solid. But yeah, after that, do YOUR thing with YOUR people.
Him and the band leader were friends however and there was just no point in trying to sway the BL on making a decision. So in the end I trusted my instincts, and just bounced.
Life’s been remarkably better ever since and I get more enjoyment out of playing without having that yuck in my gut… because life’s too short, ya dig?
*But do it after the gig/prior commitments. It’s not gonna kill you to finish-out strong & solid. But yeah, after that, do YOUR thing with YOUR people.
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I've always tried to look at this as just another unfortunate and less fun part of "paying my dues". It served me well when there were a billion bands to join near where I lived, and I'm hoping it does the same thing here where I'm at (small town) to ingratiate myself with the scene. Sometimes these threads turn into "Forget everyone, we're all dyin someday and lifes to short to play with ewwy gooey unpracticed people", but in my opinion it's very helpful to try and stand by your commitment. It's not about staying with a bad band forever, to me it's prepping for "I said I'd do it. I did it. I'm reliable. I'm out of that band and looking for something new to be well rehearsed and totally reliable for".
Of course, if they're a jerk about it or it's chaos like in Sludges experience, I'd bounce earlier.
Though, I deff agree lifes to short to perpetually play with the ewwy gooey unpracticed people
Don’t leave them high and dry on NYE. That would be a kinda crappy thing to do and leave you with a bad reputation. Don’t sweat the NYE gig too much everyone will be drunk and you’ll sound great.
So no one has ever had to play with bad musicians. And when you first started out you were so talented that no one had to play with your mistakes. Ha!
I agree.
It's too close to NYE to bail and make them have to get someone outside the loop to fill in at the last minute. And don't forget about the venue and the people who will be coming to your show to close out the year. I say play NYE and then make a determination as to your future with the band.
Yep, you're right. And maybe they'll look for another drummer!
I’d probably grit my teeth and stick it out until the NYE gig is done. If he miraculously gets himself together - and I doubt it - then give the BL an ultimatum. It’s either him or you. I have a feeling you’ll be given an opportunity to seek out another band.
So Anyway, I'd play the NYE gig and probably anything else the BL had booked.
I'd also be looking for something else.
Everyone deserves an opportunity to play and to find their audience. But some folks just aren't a good fit for a band.
I'd also be looking for something else.
Everyone deserves an opportunity to play and to find their audience. But some folks just aren't a good fit for a band.
