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An actual response to my CL ad...

TheFantod

TheFantod

#5 of the Pentaverate. Took Col. Sanders' spot.
Aug 7, 2009
571
66
Eastern N.C.
www.reverbnation.com
#1
...I would have posted this in the "Dumb Craigslist" posting, but it's nearing 1000 posts and may soon be bumped away to the nether regions of TB.

Anyway, I put an ad in last week looking for guitarists for a punk band. I was very straight forward in the posting. Some of the prerequisites were: owning or at least having access to a reliable car, knowing chords without looking at your left hand for 5 minutes, and a professional attitude. Here is a response I got, word for word. I have omitted some naughty language and proper names to protect the [DEL]ignorant [/DEL]innocent.

whats good man

i like to play punk like old sex pistols and ramones style punk

not ***** tight jeans and girly hair cut punk but punk punk

mo hawks leather spikes fake english accents and ****** guitars at loud volumes

o and i smoke pot OFTEN

i have almost 7 years of playing bass guitar and violin and i plan to go to *** for guitar performance so i am a serious musician

i dont have alot of chord theory so callin out chords and expecting to me know them wolnt really work but i can pick up tabs fast and play by ear. punk is 75% power chords any way

i got my own equipment and all that i dont have a car rightt now but i got gas money and room to practice at my place even at night honestly i preffer night jams i find im more creative at night


There are so many things I want to say to this kid, but instead I just sent a polite response telling him he wasn't what we're looking for, and best of luck to him.
 
#6
Well, I think you were good about it. Kid can't seem to focus or pay attention. A bassist looking for a guitarist with a car isn't really intersted in a guy with 7 years experience on bass and violin but no car. Kinda seems like the only part of your ad he read was the word "punk".
He certainly sounds like a punk.
 
#7
totallyfrozen said:
Well, I think you were good about it. Kid can't seem to focus or pay attention. A bassist looking for a guitarist with a car isn't really intersted in a guy with 7 years experience on bass and violin but no car. Kinda seems like the only part of your ad he read was the word "punk".
He certainly sounds like a punk.
Click to expand...


Yup. That guy is totally punk. Why didn't you hire him mate? Isn't smoking pot, bad grammar, and not giving sh1t about chords kinda the whole point of punk? :eyebrow:

:hiding:
 
#17
totallyfrozen said:
Kinda seems like the only part of your ad he read was the word "punk".
He certainly sounds like a punk.
Click to expand...

That about sums it up. He pretty much missed the mark on the rest of the ad.

It reminds me of a Craigslist ad that I put up a year or so ago. My ad read something like this:

Mellow, easy going 35 yr old bassist seeks upbeat and danceable R+B, rock, reggae, funk or other melodic band. 20+ years of experience seeking professionals. No hard rock or metal, please!
Click to expand...

Someone responded with an email that was obviously a form that they sent out to anyone who's a bass player:

We are looking for Bass Guitar to complete

DEATHSLAYER.

We practice at least once a week.

Having fun and writing good music is our goal.

Some of our influences include Slayer, Disturbed, Death, Metallica, Lamb of God, 3 Inches of Blood, EXODUS, Tool and Testament.

To schedule a tryout, call Xxxx at (xxx)-xxx-xxxx.

myspace.com/xxxxxxxxxxx
Click to expand...

I checked out their myspace site for the hell of it, and they're not bad, but obviously, not at ALL what I described in my ad. They obviously didn't read the ad at all. I was irritated that they wasted my time, so I sent 'em an email that they surely would read:

Thanks for responding! However, I'm not sure where in my ad it indicated that I'm looking for a thrash metal band. Thanks for responding, but no thanks.

BTW - you may want to change the band's name. There's already a popular East Coast band from the '80s with the same name, and a couple other bands elsewhere, too. How about Testament Tool, or Anthrax Exodus?

Best of luck...
Click to expand...
 
#20
...o and i smoke pot OFTEN

...i dont have alot of chord theory so callin out chords and expecting to me know them wolnt really work but i can pick up tabs fast and play by ear.

Exactly how does this equate to:

... i am a serious musician


???:confused:
 

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