Angry Musicians Wanted Ad

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Starflyer59, Apr 7, 2014.

  1. This guy is going to get so many hits. Its probably written by an angry teenager or an angry adult man who is off their meds.

    or copy pasta in case someone flagged it:

    WANTED: Starting a band with no genre bullsh*t limitations in the Month of May.

    Needed: 1 drummer who checks his/her egos at the door because the last thing i'm dealing with is some f*ckhead wannabe. Fat drum sound, rock n' roll
    enough with a splash of hip hop.. Think Bonham meets Questlove.

    Needed: 1 Bass player from hell. Now, allow me to put emphasis on the following.. "BASS PLAYER NEEDED, not GUITAR PLAYER WILLING TO PLAY BASS FOR
    FOOD". I want a bass player who can click to the fatness that Mr Drummer springs along.. ya heard? No lame f*cking 5,6 or 7+ string basses. If you
    can't make it sound good on a 4 string, you're f*cked.. go kill yourself.

    Needed: 1 guitar player. No rythym guitar player or lead player, it's not nineteen f*cking eighty nine. I need someone who can play, and learn
    quickly. there is nothing more disatisfying than the pettiness of me sitting down teaching you the songs, know you're sh*t mate! create with me,
    don't be a f*cking nobody, be a trendsetter. And by trendsetter I mean modest.. I will unplug your amp if you're being a f*cktard shredder in inappropriate
    placed timeslots..

    To all players: YOU MUST ALL HAVE YOUR OWN PRO GEAR. If not, please do not waste yours or my time in responding to this ad, I'll just think
    you're a wanker and I will likely go out of my way to prove it, fair warning..

  2. Rocker949


    Apr 20, 2005
    Obviously, a total control freak. I wouldn't even want to be in the same room with him. Of course, some of the comments are kind of amusing, but that's beside the point.
  3. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Big Dogs Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    Quality abuse is hard to find.
    This is a rare opportunity!
  4. AngryPig1


    Oct 1, 2012
    London UK
    Can someone please go along to an audition just to see what stupid stuff this guy says? maybe with an 8 string? or a double neck?
  5. LMAO, i do own an 8-string (4x2) Its tempted but i dont want press assault charges.
  6. AngryPig1


    Oct 1, 2012
    London UK
    i think you owe to all of us TB members who live too far away and dont own the correct equipment. Its a matter of duty to the forum.
  7. .............ok

    As an overly chill guy, I now know what the other end of the spectrum looks like.


    This guy is on his own wanting to start a band, right? I mean, he is looking for a band to join him, rather than to join a band.

    Laughed SO HARD when I saw the last line.

  8. kcole4001


    Oct 7, 2009
    Nova Scotia
    I really think we need to teach him spelling and grammar.
    He should be a reasonable and attentive student, don't ya think?
  9. I'm renouncing my US citizenship, buying a Flames jersey, putting my 5er up on TB classifieds and moving north to join up with this guy.
  10. RustyAxe


    Jul 8, 2008
    Wow, an ugly Canadian. Who knew they existed?
  11. As a Canadian, all I can say is it's been a looooong winter...
  12. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Banned

    Oct 1, 2010
    I like this guy. Sounds like he's got his head screwed on right.
  13. JohnMCA72


    Feb 4, 2009
    I'm sure he pays well, too!
  14. But I came here for an argument...
  15. ac11367

    ac11367 Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2007
    Flushing, NY
    I think he is Prince....
  16. godblender

    godblender Banned Supporting Member

    Mar 11, 2009
    As obnoxious as this guys' ad is, that's almost as good as it gets with regards to CL band ads. I also tend to agree with his guitar player prerequisite. :ninja:
  17. And that's mere contradiction!
  18. HeavyJazz

    HeavyJazz SUSPENDED Supporting Member

    Jan 26, 2013
    Seems a bit strong-willed for a harmonica player...
  19. Justice


    May 24, 2002
    Houston TX.
    NO it isn't!
  20. His delivery may be a little off-putting :smug:, but you have to admit that he made some good points.