Another Band/Wife drama thread/vent

[remainthesame]

music>women

 

[theundecidedone]

Hmm.....sounds like your wife hasn't met the back of your hand yet.....a pimp named slickback may be able to help with this predicament

really dude? speaking of growing up...

Matticus and Rio, it seems you two have done more in the last few posts to (intelligently) bring out the OP's underlying problem, and the underlying problems for many couples. bravo

 

[Sumtingwong]

Maybe its just me, but Im not seeing how this post ties in with the thread...

Waaay late for the reply, but I was alluding to the gossipy drama queens who claim every girl this guy hugs is either a former/current or potential sex partner. If there's even a speck of truth in what they say, then all bets are off.

OTOH, If it's all BS, then it simply means this: Her clock is ticking like Big Ben at high noon, and she's solidifying her nest and the means to support children. In my experience she'll either get what she wants through subversion, coercion, or just nagging incessantly- Or, she'll find someone who fits or foots the bill.
No mystery there.

 

[MatticusMania]

Matticus and Rio, it seems you two have done more in the last few posts to (intelligently) bring out the OP's underlying problem, and the underlying problems for many couples. bravo

Its just hindsight, having lived through a similar experience to the OP's. My ex never gave the ultimatum, but I dont doubt that it would have reared its head sooner rather than later.

Its kind of funny, threads like this seem to pop up every couple of months with similar situations. I was actually reading through one at the time I was coming to the conclusion that leaving my ex was the right decision. Reading the thread certainly helped reinforce the thought.

 

[MatticusMania]

Waaay late for the reply, but I was alluding to the gossipy drama queens who claim every girl this guy hugs is either a former/current or potential sex partner. If there's even a speck of truth in what they say, then all bets are off.

Thanks for the clarification.

 

[mward69]

Dayyuuumm..7 pgs deep. Lots of great points on here.
***UPDATE***

So am was sitting here the other night chopping the setlist down to 3 - 1hr sets. and she hears on of the songs I chose for our female singer..a song the wife liked and asked "are you guys going to play that"? I reply "yes" she starts talking about how good it will sound...blah, blah.....Now I'm looking at her like something's up. All of a sudden now, there is no negative talk or comments....I am a little freaked out to be honest!!

Now I am thinking
A) She was on the rag or other woman problems
B) She's Up to something
C) She's gave in
D) She has talked with a lawyer and I should open a 2nd bank account and start saving my Arse

 

[hudpucker]

Her reply is "it's time I grew up" and "too old to play rockstar"

I used to frequently hear almost exactly that some years ago.



Every now and again, I miss her, too.

 

[MatticusMania]

I would still beware. Sounds like BPD, not to say that your wife is BPD, but thats the kind of thing my ex would do as well. One day something is a huge deal worthy of arguing all day, the next she's completely over it, the next day here we'd go again...

 

[iamjoncoates]

Despite the risk that I will lose all my "street cred" by posting this...

I find that the key to balancing a marriage and gigs is simple - make time for both.

When I am not gigging or working, my attention is 100% focused on my wife and family. Also, never underestimate the power of flowers, surprise dinners, or a weekend getaway to spend quality one-on-one time with your wife.

 

[MEKer]

CONTROL

CONTROL

CONTROL

 

[Marley's Ghost]

CONTROL

CONTROL

CONTROL

The need for control is to mitigate fear of abandonment. Nasty stuff.

 

[ibateur]

Dayyuuumm..7 pgs deep. Lots of great points on here.
***UPDATE***

So am was sitting here the other night chopping the setlist down to 3 - 1hr sets. and she hears on of the songs I chose for our female singer..a song the wife liked and asked "are you guys going to play that"? I reply "yes" she starts talking about how good it will sound...blah, blah.....Now I'm looking at her like something's up. All of a sudden now, there is no negative talk or comments....I am a little freaked out to be honest!!

Now I am thinking
A) She was on the rag or other woman problems
B) She's Up to something
C) She's gave in
D) She has talked with a lawyer and I should open a 2nd bank account and start saving my Arse

E) She's a member here