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Another possible band breakup

#64
CyberSnyder said:
Their answers are “no” but they don’t want to be the first to say it and look like the bad guy that killed it. For example - who was the second person to walk on the moon?
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Off topic: Now I'll be wondering all day if people would've know Buzz Aldrin's name if he hadn't (a) punched a skeptic and (b) had a cameo on The Big Bang Theory...
 
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#67
It must be a guitarist thing.

I've phoned ours several times since lockdown to check that he is ok (he's high risk and hasn't left the house since mid March). I emailed him twice last week expecting a reply and - crickets.

But he can still find the time to post crap on Facebook.
 
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#68
frankie5string said:
Most of the people I work with who were predicting June would be when we all get back, are now backing away from that idea.
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Yep. I feel that anyone planning on doing anything based on a specific calendar date is a bit delusional right now. Remember when we all thought we'd be back at work on April 1st! Haha! My workplace is working on a business resumption plan, but there's no date right now. Of course, everyone wants to know the date! All I know is that my program's major exercises are postponed until next year (at least), which is all the certainty I need right now. We might lose our budget for this year, but so be it.

My personal threshold has been "14 days, no new cases" and then I'll venture out for more than food and building supplies*. I can swing that with my employment since I've got a recent diagnosis for immunodeficiency (unrelated to COVID). It's totally my call for any band related stuff. There's not much else I do that requires being in close proximity to others.

In my area, we have come nowhere close to that 14 day threshold and we're already on the far side of the curve, unlike a lot of other places. 83 new cases in the last two weeks (out of ~2000 total), avg one death per day. Could be two weeks, two months or two years before I'll willfully spend hours enclosed in a space with any number of people.

*Not like I'm hunkered down in my bunker - I DO get out everyday, for hours, on my bicycle and/or motorcycle - mostly solo, but sometimes with buddies or my daughter. I just don't spend more time in stores than I need too - and definitely not hanging out with anyone in situ. I spent the last few weekends outside almost all day working on landscaping/building projects.
 
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#69
LBS-bass said:
I also loathe telephones; I loathe their intrusiveness and I loathe not being able to see someone's face when I'm actually speaking with them. It's just a thing that I have. It's going to be text or it's going to be in person.
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FWIW I’ve generally found that anytime something’s got to be my way or not at all, and “just a thing I have,” most people I know will: (a) tell me “not at all,” (b) simply not bother to respond, or (c) flip me the bird. ;)

That said (and more to your first point) it wouldn’t kill anybody to respond with a either simple “no good” or “I’m ok with that.” That’s just simple adult courtesy. So I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated. Especially since these people aren’t relative strangers.

If I were in the same situation as you, I’d save my money. :)
 
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#70
Yeah-this sounds like a communication issue above all else. Sad to let things go to shite for lack of communcation, but whatevs. I work in health care and am seeing the repercussions of C19 in spades. The excess global mortality statistics are shocking and the morbidity cost (short of deaths) will take years to figure out. Each person is making his /her own calculations about what is reasonable now, so communication is key....within communities, small groups, families, couples....and there are no perfect solutions.
 
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#71
I don’t know what the situation is in your area however unless you have gigs lined up there is no point in taking the risk.

I don’t blame people for being nervous, some have elderly family members they don’t want to put at risk.

A phone call is the best option, just talk through your offer and ask if it’s acceptable. In Sydney new case numbers are way down now and we have a rehearsal scheduled at the end of the month. Restrictions have been eased but everyone is still super careful and if things escalate even slightly rehearsal will be cancelled.

I don’t think we’ll be back to gigging until later this year so it’s not critical that we get together, it’s more of a catch up observing all safety precautions. If anyone feels uncomfortable we just can it for now although they all responded saying yes it’s acceptable to do this at this point if we minimise risk.
 
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#72
LBS-bass said:
..........above that this is taking up too much rent in my head right now.

I also have a lot of empathy with electracoyote because I'm going through many of the same things. That said, I don't think anyone should feel pressured to rehearse if they are not comfortable. Period. Asking someone "will this make you feel more comfortable?" is not pressure. If it's being interpreted that way, that's not coming from me.
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I think you may be putting more pressure on the reluctant one than you think. Asking someone if they are comfortable is one thing - asking someone "if I spend a grand on this filtration system (that you know nothing about) will you feel comfortable?" is completely different. He may not be comfortable with it yet. He may feel if you spend the money he would be obligated to rehearse even if he isn't comfortable. Maybe he just doesn't have an answer right now.

Even this thread has shown there isn't an "answer" yet to when can we get back together. If you can't wait for the guy, move on without him.
 
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#73
I guess everybody knows where they stand on Covid and their own comfort level with anything social. Count me among the people who withdrew and even shut down a bit. I miss my bands and my friends but I'm reluctant to be close to anyone right now, let alone shut in a basement with band members for hours. I wouldn't judge anyone on their lack of responsiveness right now and I hope none of my friends will judge me on mine; it can be hard to have conversations with people you value even if the conversations themselves aren't hard. I find myself floundering after words. It's much easier to keep pushing along the public-facing bits of myself that I have going on forums or FB than it is to really talk with most of my friends. And I'm doing better than I was a month or two ago. I think cutting a talented, valued band member out under these circumstances would be jumping the gun.
 
#74
honestly I would either call him or show up at his shop..Its too easy for people to ignore texts, phone calls are a little harder..that said I understand your issue with calls..I feel the same sometimes..

As an aside, my band had our first practice since the breakout..it was great to be playing music again..and its been so long some of the songs I had a few spots of brain freeze. However it came back quick. I have to say that with the layoff I had forgotten how much I love playing music with my band..so fun~~
 
#76
Bottom line is that it has become a personal choice. We are leaving a drummer behind as he doesn't feel comfortable, and that is his right. We are "green" in our area and bands are starting to play out. We want to be one of them, so we have to replace the drummer. We are not sure if he will ever feel comfortable, and he wants his "throne" (job) back when he does, so he says. We said, that no it isn't fair to have a guy put in the work and then kick him out when the original drummer isn't scared anymore. We don't have an issue with his carefulness, I have a daughter that is also being extra cautious. but the band will roll on, with him or without him.
 
#78
stonetone7 said:
I have this feeling that things won’t return to normal (in the sense that you could reasonably think someone’s being overly cautious) until there is a proven vaccine and sufficient time and administration rates to develop the herd immunity.

It’s gonna be a good long while yet.
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You mean the way the proven vaccine works for the Flu? Oh wait...it isn't/it doesn't!
 
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