i used to do a bit of live sound years ago. it was usually a church hall that put on rock bands. it was not the best room for sound. didnt take well to great ammounts of low frequencys and had a naturally bright sound so treble was a huge problem. the other problem was it was in a residential area so there were noise limits. so we would always say the following to bands "this is a tricky room to get a good sound in and we also have noise limits so try not to play too loud". most times people understood this. however we did have a few tricky bands.
like one time we soundchecked one band and then the opening band came on all cocky (i dunno if i should sensor that or not) thinking they were opening for U2. so they all set up and plug in and decide to imidetly change the amp settings. i figured the best thing to do would be to tell them "guys, this room doesnt react well to excessive treble or bass. also please dont play too loud or the police will get phoned." to which i got the dumbest reply i have ever heard
"you cant silence rock and roll, f*** the police. they just work for the man, man. also what do you know about music?"
im the soundman...... i kinda know more about this room and how certian frequencys are affected in said room than you.
"your just part of the system"
im volenteering for a church. can we please just get on with the soundcheck?
so they sound awefull to say the least. the only member who sounded good was the drummer. however i was really having trouble with the bass player and the guitar player.
excuse me, can you please turn the bass on your amp down? its kinda sounding boomy down hear and i really dont think it sounds good from where im sitting.
"im not turning down my bass. the band wont be able to hear me"
no, they really can hear you. its just your frequencys are too low and its really not sounding good.
"im still not turning down. im not even that loud"
no, im not asking you to turn your bass guitar down. im asking you to turn the bass knob on your amp down.
"what is the diffrence? can you do it for me?"
*ran up and fixed his settings to suit the room*
ok, guitar player. can you please turn down the bloody amp? im barely running you on the mixing desk because your overpowering the mix right now.
"you cant turn down rock and roll"
yes i can..... im the soundman.
"well f*** you man, your just the man"
please just turn your amp down. its too much right now. your louder than everyone else and you can barely hear them.
"stop acting like the man"
listen, im trying to make you sound good AND not get in trouble with the rozzers. i dont want the church getting in trouble with the law.
"f*** the police. if they show up i'll kick there f***ing teeth in"
JUST TURN YOUR BLOODY AMP DOWN. your too loud at the amp.
at this point he walked off in a rockstar strop. while he was away i got my friend to go up and play guitar (who thankfully turned him down" while i finnished the bloody soundcheck. after 20 mins he comes back refusing to soundcheck. fine by me since we already finnished. so the band are playing there set and unfortunatly for me the guitar player notices his volume is lower. he turns it up to 10 on the 2nd song of the set and the band are just getting drowned out. hes feeding back like hell and the band are actually loosing there place in the song because they cant even hear themselfs. im trying my best to fix the mix at the board but hes still too loud even when i mute him on the board. when the song stops he shouts into the mic.
"this one is for the soundguy who tryed to silence rock and roll. how do you like it?"
at this point i just gave up with him because i knew the police would show up due to the noise...... they did. we got asked to turn down and i said "ok, tell it to the guy there. i've tryed but he wont listen." as soon as the police started walking towards him he ran. so much for his previous statement about kicking the polices teeth in.
moral of the story? dont be a idiot.
also, please be punctual. there was one night when the band had to be on stage and set up by 9:30. so we told the band that. they all said that was fine. so its 9:20. the bands singer is nowhere to be seen. i asked my friend to check the dressing room and he came back saying "yeah, he wants another 10 mins..... he is fixing his makeup". i ask the friend to keep a eye on the mixing desk while i talk to him. he is indeed fixing his makeup.
can you please get on stage soon? we're waiting for you.
"no. im fixing my mascara and i still need to do my eye shadow and then i'll have to do my hair. i need atleast 30 mins"
is it really that importent how you look?
"yeah man. i want the dancefloor to look like a river when the girls see me walk in"
i really dont think its that importent. i dont mean to sound harsh but any time you spend in here is comming off your setlist. we have curfues to deal with.
"ok, i'll be 5 mins"
he didnt show up till 9:45. i had to cut the bands set short by 15 mins to avoid curfues and make sure the other bands got to play the full set.