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Are you too proud to apologize?

#41
OldDog52 said:
I honestly can't recall my dad ever apologizing to anyone for anything. Not to family, not to anyone else that I remember.
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Although he didn't apologize often [he didn't need to] when he did I was so stunned that the strongest most powerful person in the household would have the humility to admit a mistake. Everyone does wrong one time or another, intensionally or unintentionally. Make no mistake my dad is an alpha male and could make me piss my pants today at age 85. However, his sense of fair play, always seeing the glass half full, and generosity of spirit make him the greatest man I've ever known.
 
#43
I apologize all the time.

I tend to "shoot from the hip". The upside of that is that you never have to wonder where I stand or if I am being honest with you. The downside is that I will sometimes spout of at the mouth (or keyboard) before completely thinking something through. When called out on it, I will usually immediately admit I was wrong and apologize. Or at least I will admit that my tone was inappropriate even if I stand by my opinion.

There is no need, in my view, to "double down" to save your pride. Usually, the tension will go away more quickly if you just "fess up" and truly apologize.

Yesterday in church my pastor did a great lesson on being a peacemaker in your house, and in your circle of influence. It's not about being a doormat. It is, however, about taking stock of where you are in a conversation, and more broadly in a relationship, and weighing your options as to what could be gained (or destroyed) by forcing any one issue. (That's as far as I am going with this so don't freak out.) It is something I truly need to work on in my own life.

My writing style is very sarcastic and "brash". I have probably apologized to a hundred people here at TB alone for such blatherings. I come across as much more harsh that I feel. There is no shame (to me) in apologizing for stating something in a way that crosses a line for someone else. And that's not a "the problem is you, not me" cop out. I honestly understand that not everyone trash talks like I do. So, they are perfectly within their rights to be put off by something I have said. And I really can perpetuate a good conversation by simply walking back a step, taking a breath, and apologizing for "getting in their face" in a manner of speaking.

@Downunderwonder , @Immigrant and several others can attest to the fact that I will knee jerk on occasion. But I can also sincerely apologize for knee jerking and, in a manner of speaking, beg them to continue a conversation. I have learned a lot from both, and others. They are two guys with whom I disagree on some issues. But they are also thoughtful and interesting people with whom I would love to break bread if the opportunity presented itself.

Edit to add @GregC as well.

Be who you are. Allow others the same. Apologize when you screw up.

Great topic question.
 
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#44
two fingers said:
Downunderwonder , @Immigrant and several others can attest to the fact that I will knee jerk on occasion. But I can also sincerely apologize for knee jerking and, in a manner of speaking, beg them to continue a conversation. I have learned a lot from both, and others. They are two guys with whom I disagree on some issues. But they are also thoughtful and interesting people with whom I would love to break bread if the opportunity presented itself.
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Honestly, I stopped getting riled up by your posts by "hearing" what you post being said by Thurston Howell III, or at least by someone wearing a smoking jacket and ascot.

In fact, I don't remember getting riled up since your return. I'm on better dope now, though.
 
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#45
Immigrant said:
Honestly, I stopped getting riled up by your posts by "hearing" what you post being said by Thurston Howell III, or at least by someone wearing a smoking jacket and ascot.

In fact, I don't remember getting riled up since your return. I'm on better dope now, though.
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Ha! That is great!

What's hilarious is that you will usually see me in jeans or cargo shorts and a t-shirt and hiking shoes. I drive a pickup. I spent this weekend repairing my deck and burning underbrush in the woods behind my house. I own one black suit for playing weddings, attending funerals and appearing in court. And it was off the rack at JC Penny and is probably way out of style.:roflmao:

But, hey, as long as we continue to get along, whatever helps......:thumbsup:
 
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#51
I'd just like to point out that there is a difference TO ME, between "apologizing" and saying that you are "sorry". Politicians "apologize" and that word is used in more formal situations. It is not the same as saying that you are "sorry", which to me is more heartfelt and meaningful. I believe it takes more of a person to say "sorry" instead.
 
#52
two fingers said:
I apologize all the time.

I tend to "shoot from the hip". The upside of that is that you never have to wonder where I stand or if I am being honest with you. The downside is that I will sometimes spout of at the mouth (or keyboard) before completely thinking something through. When called out on it, I will usually immediately admit I was wrong and apologize. Or at least I will admit that my tone was inappropriate even if I stand by my opinion.

There is no need, in my view, to "double down" to save your pride. Usually, the tension will go away more quickly if you just "fess up" and truly apologize.

Yesterday in church my pastor did a great lesson on being a peacemaker in your house, and in your circle of influence. It's not about being a doormat. It is, however, about taking stock of where you are in a conversation, and more broadly in a relationship, and weighing your options as to what could be gained (or destroyed) by forcing any one issue. (That's as far as I am going with this so don't freak out.) It is something I truly need to work on in my own life.

My writing style is very sarcastic and "brash". I have probably apologized to a hundred people here at TB alone for such blatherings. I come across as much more harsh that I feel. There is no shame (to me) in apologizing for stating something in a way that crosses a line for someone else. And that's not a "the problem is you, not me" cop out. I honestly understand that not everyone trash talks like I do. So, they are perfectly within their rights to be put off by something I have said. And I really can perpetuate a good conversation by simply walking back a step, taking a breath, and apologizing for "getting in their face" in a manner of speaking.

@Downunderwonder , @Immigrant and several others can attest to the fact that I will knee jerk on occasion. But I can also sincerely apologize for knee jerking and, in a manner of speaking, beg them to continue a conversation. I have learned a lot from both, and others. They are two guys with whom I disagree on some issues. But they are also thoughtful and interesting people with whom I would love to break bread if the opportunity presented itself.

Edit to add @GregC as well.

Be who you are. Allow others the same. Apologize when you screw up.

Great topic question.
Click to expand...
I don't recall butting heads but it was probably over some hot political issue. You must have been particularly wrong about something instead your usual generally wrong ;) I remember you did a big deal quit and I thought that was a pity at the time, loss of diversity and all that .
 
#53
Downunderwonder said:
I don't recall butting heads but it was probably over some hot political issue. You must have been particularly wrong about something instead your usual generally wrong ;) I remember you did a big deal quit and I thought that was a pity at the time, loss of diversity and all that .
Click to expand...

Ha!

Yeah I did a little rage quit a while back. It was over something silly (on my part). And, once again, a sincere apology is why I'm back! :thumbsup:
 
#55
OldDog52 said:
I honestly can't recall my dad ever apologizing to anyone for anything. Not to family, not to anyone else that I remember.
Click to expand...

My Dad never apologized either. Even though he owed a huge one. Guess I am a chip off the old block, because I didn't say "Sorry" when he eventually had a debilitating stroke. Nor did I say "Sorry" when he told me my mother had died, I just said, "Okay."
 

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