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Buying and selling 40 basses over a couple of years sounds burdensome to me. I’ve wrestled with all sorts of unhealthy behaviors and relationships with people and things. Little obsessions, big obsessions. It sounds like you have had a rough patch lately. But it also sounds like you are heeding your gut instincts by questioning the motivation behind all this buying and selling. You’d probably save yourself a lot of time and money and energy if you switched to yoga or jogging.
Mate I am with you on all of this but the major underlying issue that seems common here is shame. I face this stuff hugely within my life but I also understand why and I feel it helps to manage it better. There is so much positive things to come from having music as a pastime that it is so cruel that we find these ways to sabotage the positivity. That is part of what makes things so difficult with things like this. Reframing and recognizing triggers are big for me and putting in rules like sleeping on any purchases and selling something before buying something else helps. I dont know if this is a helpful statement but one thing I truly do believe is that everyone in this world has coping mechanisms that can be unbalanced at times. Every one. Drugs, sex, internet, shopping, gaming, food, alchohol, partying, work, cars. Everyone has something that we use to cope and disassociate from the tough things in our world. Recognising and being grateful for the things we do have is another very powerful tool to help us to work to use things things for enrichment especially as something as useful as music gear.
I wish you all the best I dont have all the answers and struggle with all of this daily and more but struggle on we must and try and find and celebrate those times of joy and look for them as much as we can!
Some great advice in this article and many many others like it online!
The Cycle of Shame and Self-Destructive Behavior: How to Break It
I wish you all the best I dont have all the answers and struggle with all of this daily and more but struggle on we must and try and find and celebrate those times of joy and look for them as much as we can!
Some great advice in this article and many many others like it online!
The Cycle of Shame and Self-Destructive Behavior: How to Break It
I agree with a lot of the others here: spend less time online and looking at, searching for and reading about gear. I spend a fair amount of time on TalkBass and looking at music related things I find it relaxing and I enjoy it. But I know that if I channeled that time into practicing and playing I would be a much better player. Don't get me wrong, I have learned about and discovered a lot of nice equipment that I would have otherwise not known about if I wasn't on here.
I find I am most productive when I am busy. Either learning and transcribing new songs and/or preparing for gigs. Then there is no time to waste looking for stuff; I just have to learn stuff!
Find a couple of basses that are reliable and you can be happy with and then concentrate on music.
I find I am most productive when I am busy. Either learning and transcribing new songs and/or preparing for gigs. Then there is no time to waste looking for stuff; I just have to learn stuff!
Find a couple of basses that are reliable and you can be happy with and then concentrate on music.
Hmmmm…
In a way, it’s no big deal buy stuff, collect stuff, sell stuff, why not? That said……
No good going broke over it.
Could be a waste of time, instead of working on something more worthwhile.
I really don’t like the way humanity is using up the world creating trash heaps of junk, but basses usually don’t end up in the trash. Mostly.
In a way, it’s no big deal buy stuff, collect stuff, sell stuff, why not? That said……
No good going broke over it.
Could be a waste of time, instead of working on something more worthwhile.
I really don’t like the way humanity is using up the world creating trash heaps of junk, but basses usually don’t end up in the trash. Mostly.
I've always loved the mantra: "More Mel Bay; Less E Bay". That being said, I haven't followed it at all. I'm sure my list of bought-and-sold basses (and sometimes sold-and-bought-back) is at least as long as the OP's. Oh well. Live and learn, and enjoy playing, shopping and collecting.
Anytime you get a negative feeling? Practice your instrument. Take the negative and turn into a positive. Relationship with a significant other ended? Play the instrument. Anxiety? Play the bass. Shame? Play more bass. I suppose going out for a run or a bike ride, hike to a nice river/stream, mountain etc. These things are all positive for most people. Anytime you feel bad, do something else to stop your brain from dwelling on that negative feeling. Do something you love and that makes you feel good. You have nothing to be shamed for based on that introduction. You have tenacity. There's no shame in that.
You guys are my professional help! Thank you! (And yes i am still seeing my therapist at 11AM!)
Yes, i am aware i am not the only one who is impacted negatively by GAS. You have had 3 times as many, but maybe in your case it was a happy hunt that wasn’t constantly on Ur mind. Maybe it wasn’t a symptom of just being unhappy/unsatisfied in life. Maybe U just bought & tried & sold because U had a clear plan/idea of what U wanted to have & that was the only MO towards it!
The parallel U make with romantic relationships is stricking though. It's true that my longest relationships have been around 2 years and a half & in between i've had shorter relationships.
I have recieved a tremendous amount of fantastic advice here & started correcting certain things. I just need the Ltd. Stream 204 to arrive & will get rid of the second hand app!
There's ALWAYS something better than what you own, even if you get "the best thing." But, there's actually no such thing as "the best bass." So, it doesn't matter, nothing matters, life is chaos. Just make music with what you got.
Haha yeah i agree, life is Chaos. Tyler Durden spent a whole movie telling us just that!
Yes, i agree with that philosophy!
A lot of people here have pointed out that my basses were entry-level/cheap but only the last couple of years have i been playing with pros & recording stuff that was actually going to be put out there, & having low income so i would have time to practice, compose&record my own stuff plus learn other people's material for live gigs wasn't giving me:
1) the funds to get expensive instruments
2) the mental justification of such a purchase.
3) and i would often hear about people who'd gig their Squiers, Harley Bentons, etc... so i thought that as long as i put in the work, i would get good enough on any instrument & make them work in a more demanding, pro context.
I am not entirely sure. I guess i was unhappy, would read up a positive review here or on Basschat, or YT... and then would become obsessed with a specific model, would compulsively gather information, track one down on the used market & negociate a fair price... and that on repeat, probably to mask off other problems in life. U know? Think about gear so that the brain doesn't have time to think about other things that are maybe scarier if/when faced?
Yes true. Funny U'd mention ending a relationship with significant other as i have been single for a little over a week again (and she is the singer in both my upcoming gigs looool)
Sell a few to pay for a anti-addiction therapy.
Each time you are tempted to check for new gear online, practice instead.
Each time you are tempted to check for new gear online, practice instead.
This is all i have left.. if i sell anything else, i will have to get better at beatboxing if i want to keep making music...
Ok sorry for missunderstanding your situation.
But then it's great, you've done 90% of the work.
Think of it that way:
- These 2 instruments are the result of a long selection,
- Either you're happy with them, and this should end your quest.
- Or you're not 100% happy with them, and you should stop buying guitars online anyway, because it would prove that this selection process is inefficient.
As others mentioned, impulse-control disorder and compulsive buying disorder are real things. I think it is important you recognize you have a problem and you have to develop strategies to deal with it. In this regard, professional help is most likely needed.
You don't have to fix everything in one day, but take baby steps and things will be way better. Just remember we all have problems, we all feel terrible at times. But things usually really suck before they get good. So, keep going, do the right thing, and trust life
You don't have to fix everything in one day, but take baby steps and things will be way better. Just remember we all have problems, we all feel terrible at times. But things usually really suck before they get good. So, keep going, do the right thing, and trust life
