I used to drum until a knee issue shut me down. Not that I was a great drummer, but yeah, an e-kit totally stifles the player’s dynamics. Dynamics can be simulated with round robin samples, but that’s not the player’s dynamics, that’s different tones from different hits being cycled through the drummer’s actual hits as a substitute for the different sounds he would be generating through his playing dynamics (strength and position of each hit, plus the interaction of that with the already vibrating drum head from previous hit(s)) on an acoustic head. Machine gunning on tom rolls — ugh. The cymbal sounds and dynamics; a weak point.
That said, I’ve owned and enjoyed three different e-kits, a high end (for back in the day) Alesis, a low end Roland, and then, like an upgrading ship of Theseus, gradually a high end Roland ($$$). They were all fun in their own way, and can be used to trigger samples for recording (literally the sounds of real recorded drums) and even live. I haven’t kept up with it, but I remember one smaller company was building a module dedicated to playing samples live — that would sound great, but for the player, it’s still just a facsimile of one’s own dynamics.
As for the onboard Roland sounds, I’m not a big fan (yes, including tweaking, and including buying two packages of highly acclaimed pro tweaks).
"Stick noise" (the sound of the sticks physically hitting the pads can be louder than the amplified electronic sound) can be significant at low playing volumes, especially for apartment neighbors or housemates for home practice, but also for very quiet playing situations.
Anyway, I’ve played in a band (in which half of the time I was playing bass, the other half playing guitar) with an e-drummer and it was fine. Not my ideal sound, but it was what was practical and the band was fun. But not my ideal sound. But the band (hang, music) was fun anyway, and the drummer himself was good.
I could easily see someone not being happy with edrums, especially depending on the particular implementation involved (the sounds being used, and also the sensitivity/capability of the module being used, whether any acoustic elements like real cymbals are being integrated, and finally the look of the kit). Not all edrums are the same. Prices vary wildly, from "Christmas toy for a kid" to "You’ve got to be kidding me", as do sounds and looks.
Lastly, regarding looks, edrums can be implemented with an acoustic kit’s shells, using either triggers attached to damped real drum heads, or using electronic drum mesh heads on regular (i.e., acoustic) drum shells. There are even ways to get real looking cymbals, including using metal (but then the stick noise). So, they don’t have to look like an 70s/80s space ship, though of course they still can if that is desired. Oh, and of course ekits are great for classic Roland 808 and "pew pew"-type e-drum sounds, and also even outright sound effects (triggering a duck quacking, a fart noise, etc., lol).
Overall, my experience with e-drums is: ymmv