Band Drama

[TerriblePeril]

Discuss the longstanding issues of guitar A with band A. See if they agree that he is inflexible and if so, discuss it with him. From what little we know, I'll assume it will result in some not too fun moments. But then he'll know that the band feels held back and annoyed with him not wanting to learn the material to get the money so that putting band A gigs first is financially responsible.

As is the general consensus, stick to your word. But only be invested if it's a smart investment...

 

[Dave W]

Yes, I do the booking. I didn't move the date, I only asked if it was possible. Step 1: Find out if it's even possible. Step 2: ask the band if it's okay. Step 3: if it's okay, change date. Perhaps I got steps 1 & 2 reversed, but if it wasn't possible, then I didn't want to bother the band. That was my thinking, anyway.

I would say 1 & 2 were reversed. I'd be worried about bothering the venue manager, not the band. Discuss it with the band to make sure it works with everyone and then speak with the venue.

With that said there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to move the date if the band is in good standing with the venue. Conflicts come up all the time and sometimes dates need to be moved. I wouldn't even think about moving a date at a new venue but one of our regular places? Sure...

 

[Renaissance]

Keep your gig with Band A and get a sub for Band B for one night. Play Band A gig and the next night play Band B gig (or vice versa). Everyone is happy and you're only out $20.

Afterwards figure out how to deal with Band A drama.

 

[BassNeo]

I'd say 1&2 were not reversed. The bar needs as much notice as possible if you're looking to re schedule. Waiting for a response from all members might take longer than a bar might need to sort their schedule. Additionally, if someone like Guitarist A wanted to be a d-bag then they could just put off a response until it was too late then say, 'Oops, sorry man, I guess we're locked in...'

However, you did say that Band A was the priority. Don't make promises you cant keep. I do admit that the guitarist is being a little petty, but you agreed to it.

Personally, I'd re-schedule and go for the higher paying gig. It's not like it's a special occasion or a new venue. The bar knows you. The crowd knows you. Offsetting it a week isn't going to cause calamity to the band, even though the guitarist seems to think so.

Besides, you're the one holding most of the cards. If it's your gear, your truck and your booking then you get more of a say. Sounds like he wants to exert some kind of control. Throwing a fit is unbecoming and unprofessional. Make that known.

Just my 2p.

 

[Inertialsky]

stagger the set times. play both shows with both bands!

Oh and mention to Band A guitarist that you can change the lyrics of "all about that bass" to "all about that mediocre guitar tone".... see if he likes that idea!

 

[bassbully]

Hi,

I was hoping to play in two bands this past year, both great bands with great people, but both bands were working too much. I had to make a choice. I have one band as my main project and then fill in my calendar as a sideman with a few other ensembles.

Band A guitar player doesn't sound like too much fun to work with. A cover band that doesn't learn new tunes gets stale and will start to lose bookings.

Thank you for your indulgence,

BassCliff

This is one of the pitfalls of being in two bands...scheduling gigs around each other. You have to stand by the commitment you made to band A since you told them they were priority.
I was in two bands until today when I left the cover band to focus on the originals band which is my love. It's a relief not to have to face issues like you are having now. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

[pnchad]

I'm pretty sure the 'Band' concept died in about 1970 with the Beatles

it then took me 20 years to figure that out

seriously, it's a lot of fun when things are good but if you want to improve as a player you need as much quality experience as you can get - in the jazz world you are allowed to bow out of a date but you are responsible for finding an equally good sub and paying him/her directly (even if you lose money - that's the fee) - if you don't you lose your rep and don't get calls

he who books, rules BTW - no one should bitch about a change of booking that they didn't help acquire especially after 5 friggin' years - that's YOUR gig -if guitard A is a pain...

it's a dog eat dog musical world

it also sounds like your the typical responsible leader, get it done bass player - don't let others hold you back

 

[thetaxmiser]

Band A uses your place to rehearse, uses your PA, uses your truck to haul stuff, and you book the gigs. Tell the skinny stringer to STFU or pitch in and help. You wanted to switch one night. ..the guy is just being difficult.

 

[gln1955]

When I told Band A I was going to do Band B, the guitar player got all bent. I believe a pretty accurate quote was “As long as we take priority. You’d have to cancel their gigs in favour of us.” I agreed, but in my mind I thought it came across as petty jealousy.

This was your mistake. Y'all only play at two places and generally only once a month and this guy, who won't do anything to move the band to the next level, wants to call the shots and limit what you do outside the band. You're stuck with honoring your word, IMO, but surely changing the date is not gonna inconvenience your guitarist. He's just being a butthole.

 

[HawldieMPB]

It doesn't really matter who's "right". What matters here is that it seems like your guitar player is an ass. That matters so much more than being right. No one has ever said "I really like playing with that guy; He's right all the time!". Plenty of people have said "yeah he's really good but he's a jackass, so screw it." Food for thought

 

[markoc]

I currently work with 4 "bands" regularly. I've been with band A for 8 years, Bl will not play without me on bass but is OK with a sub drummer. He gets a little bummed if I can't make a gig but understands if I have something else going. I've had to tell him on multiple occasions if he wants me full time then start booking 20 shows a month. (currently play 6 to 8). Band B is much easier, Bl plays about 20 gigs a month and has a pool of musicians she works with. I'm 1st or 2nd call for her and no big deal if I can't make it. (5-6 gigs per month). Band C, plays 4-5 times a month including hosting once a week jam. If I can't make it, again,no big deal. Band D, I'm purely a 2nd call sub so never a problem. I guess my point is that it can be done. What I've found is the more experienced the other players are around you the less you have to deal with this kind of bs. Oh and get a sub for band B.

 

[lfmn16]

The guitard is being a dick. It really matters if you play 1/24, 1/31, or 2/7??? You are being way to accommodating.

 

[DavC]

Wait...........YOU book the band and guitarist is bitching?? Tell him to start booking gigs from now on! See how fast he backs off!

then ask if he has a spare PA , truck , garage , etc ...

I'd take what I like from band A and band B ... and make band " C "

 

[Big Hoss]

Oh, yeah, regarding that "All About That Bass" thing, if you were strictly a 70's & 80's rock cover band, I'd say no go. But since you mentioned you have a female singer and do some Pink & Katy Perry, your git player is wrong here (he probably doesn't like it since there's no solo where he can display his wankery). That would be a fun current song to pull off at the right time during a set.

It's apparent your guitar player is being inflexible, and this friction has probably contributed to his attitude regarding the conflicting gigs issue.

Display his wankery got me laughing...

 

[BucketOfFish]

I'd suggest keeping your side of the street clean this time by keeping your word then promptly advise band "A" and band "B" that your new policy is that first booked is first served unless one of them consistently books several gigs. There comes a point where slavery to your own word works negatively in your life so steps must be taken to break the chains in an honorable fashion. This way band "A" might be motivated to hustle some more work. If the guitarist pitches a hissy-fit, so be it, enjoy the new band.

 

[yodedude2]

my thoughts based on your post: you made a commitment, you should keep it--until you put everyone on notice that it's changed from now on. not retroactively, though. lesson learned. now you can move on.

step 1--cancel your commitment to band 'a'. reprioritize. if the guitarists walks, replace him. take control so that you are calling the shots up front, and not with permission.

 

[friendlybass]

Sounds like the guitar player in Band A is a real stick in the mud and has taken the situation to a weird place. The question I have is, how many of these situations before you remove yourself from both bands?

 

[Deleted member 261632]

I always/as well work on the first come, first serve principle with my 2 bands. However, compromising is never an issue. I don't get the fuzz your geetarplayer is making over trying to find a compromise over 1 conflciting date. If there were more, some re-alignment of priorities might be needed.

In my eyes, you did nothing wrong, especially when you do the booking ànd looking for a compromise in 1 go.

On the other hand, decide where you're having the best fun: band A or B and act accordingly. Making music should be fun and life is too short for drama (from either band member).

 

[hrodbert696]

+1000 that you should not have told the guitarist in band A that they would take priority. First come, first served. Honor your agreement on existing gigs but tell them you're changing policy for the future.

"Moving" a gig IS canceling a gig. It's just canceling one gig while trying to book another. But the original date is still getting canceled. It still leaves the venue with a hole to fill in the schedule and the band with a night not working.

Although you are the contact who does the booking and talks to the bar, decisions that affect the band should be discussed with the band first. I would have gone that route.

If, indeed, you provide the practice space, PA, and do the bookings for band A, seems to me you are band A's default BL. The others are just showing up and playing. Seems to me a talk is in order about the band's policies and decision-making. On the one hand, if you step up and claim the BL role, that entitles you to more proactive decision-making. But at the same time, a good BL needs to think about how to manage his musicians to keep them happy and contributing.

I had a guy like this guitarist once, maybe not so bad, or maybe it was just that it never got to that point. I joined this group via craigslist while already trying to get another project going with a singer-keys player. It had never come up that I was doing the other project and neither group was gigging (never even got any other musicians to complete the keys player's band). Was in a music store with my wife and ran into him, and introduced him as "the guitarist in the Manchester band." This expression of shock comes over his face and he says, "You mean the guitarist in THE band." Like since I had joined his band, it was offensive that I might play with anyone else. He was a long-time bedroom player and this was the first time he had ever played in a band of any kind.

The reality is that a "band" is just a group of musicians playing together. You have to do right by anyone you make a commitment to, but this whole jealous/possessive thing like "since you play with me, you're not allowed to play with anyone else," as though they owned your time, is absurd and should be corrected ASAP.

 

[jeffbrewer]

You're garage + your PA + your truck = you not ever asking anybody if they have a problem with anything.