From "Dilemma - What Would You Do?" Miscellaneous:
Hey Guys –
Thanks very much for all of the feedback. I really appreciate it.
Time for an update.
My gut was to play the hired gun gig that I had previously committed to, as my reputation and integrity are very important to me. However, someone had posted the advice to look out for myself first, and that my friend would understand if the decision was going to put my own job in jeopardy. I thought VERY hard about this. After all, this was a sub gig for a band that I have no intention of joining. I invested the past year with this group of musicians, and we sound great together. All career focused musicians.
Having my loyalty questioned was one thing, but it was the ultimatum that really pissed me off.
Things happen for a reason. I thought about all times where my business input went nowhere. I was either ignored, or the manager and singer would try to change my mind with non-stop verbal pummeling. Nothing nasty, but annoying as hell.
The manager sent me a text late Saturday night asking for my decision. I returned the text on Sunday morning and said that I decided to do the gig that I had previously committed to.
The response was UNBELIEVABLE. The manager went ballistic. I received a barrage of nasty texts that were hateful and over the top. All of this over something that should have been no more than a speed bump.
If all was good with the band and had there been no ultimatum, I would have reconsidered and protected my own job. But this response confirmed I was in the wrong group. No more wishful thinking that the music was enough. I resigned.
What followed was even worse. My head is still spinning from countless foul texts and nasty voice mails. I spoke with the manager and lead singer, but neither call ended well. There was no doubt in my mind that this was unsalvageable, and it was time to move on.
Then…..complete reversal. The remainder of the day I received another barrage of texts and VM’s pleading that we could work this out. Begging me to reconsider. Hours on end of this... relentless.
If you followed my other posting “Band Manager as Band Member,” you know that the manager wanted to have an agreement drafted that would bind us all legally. After seeing how this situation was handled, I can only imagine how ugly things would have become. Like I said, things happen for a reason. Even though I’m fried and sad, I bear no hard feelings towards my former bandmates or the manager.
Lots of lessons learned here. Time to continue my career.
