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Bar band --> Wedding Band?

Others have said the same, but I'd vote against it. If you were an established band and this was not a family member, but a fan, then you would have a decent chance.

Wedding DJs know how to work the crowd and run the show. When is the right time to play the Father-Daughter dance, that type of thing.

The worst gig I've ever played was for fans that always came to our shows and insisted we play their wedding. We're a party band and they are party-ers, but their family was far from it.

If it weren't for us sipping vodka in the hotel courtyard and getting chased by security, the whole night would have been a complete bust.

Most importantly, never do business with family.
 
Wedding DJs know how to work the crowd and run the show.

Must be a US-thing cos most of the weddings I have been to over here, the DJ's did not have a clue about what to do and when to do it. Clear dance floors faster than my terrible, no-good rockabilly band used to (and we cleared a room FAST, I'll tell you).

One particular DJ even managed to get a hampering, stuttering MP3 track (!!!!) for the couple's opening dance ... Can't remember which track it was but imagine a bride and groom dancing to "And I will always love - will always love - will always love - will always love you - you - you - you - you" ... Get the picture?
 
So, I have never led a band thru a wedding. But, as a sideman, I have played many many weddings.

I read the many posts, and imagined myself leading a band through a wedding. And these are the things I came up with:

1) TOP PRIORITY - Master of Ceremonies. You are hiring on to lead the guests through the party part of the wedding. (Reception.) Not only should you go over the plan with the bride and her mother (because let's face it, the groom and his family are there for the ride), and go over it again, and be prepared for a lot of changes as they think further about it... But you also need to know how this stuff is supposed to go, and be ready to LEAD THE PARTY even if the plan doesn't go according to plan. Whoever does this (usually, of course, the bandleader) needs to be smooth and unflappable. This is not necessarily the same skill set you find to lead a band thru a bar gig. When I put myself in your shoes, this is the thing that would intimidate me the most. Whoever said "if the bride's not having fun, the whole event sucks" has it spot-on.

2) TURN DOWN!!!!!!!! Believe me, it is way way way better for the people at the back end of the dance floor not to be able to hear you strongly, than for the people just off the dance floor to be irritated that they can't talk to each other. And of course, the appropriate volume will usually grow through the night, as the conversations wind down, and the older folks go home, and the younger ones want to dance dance dance. You could even consider a semi-acoustic set for dinner music. (acoustic guitars, elec. bass turned way way down, drummer playing mostly brushes).

3) I suspect the set list is not as critical, as long as you make sure you: a) have the bride's special song requests down; b) have some "typical" wedding stuff under your fingers; c) carry a couple of fakebooks for that last-minute request from important guest. But how important the set list would probably depend greatly on who you're playing for; another thing to discuss.

Finally, remember that no matter how well prepared you are, something is almost certain to go not to plan. You've got to feel confident enough that you can keep the party going no matter what. And "no matter what" is different than in the bar. So heads up!!!

Best of luck whatever you decide to do.
 
The biggest complaints I've heard about wedding DJ's:

1. Too loud
2. Offensive
3. Refused to play requests

I have only attended one wedding where a DJ provided music. The guy cranked the bass to such an extreme level, it was absurd. Aside from a number of musicians in attendance, there was also a good sound man there as well. We could not take it anymore, and so the sound guy had a talk with the DJ about how bad the sound was. The DJ actually made an improvement, for a while, but soon went back to a horrendous bass heavy EQ. It was really bad. I see an earlier post saying that a DJ can make $2k for a wedding. If I was not so introverted, I would send in for the Foley-Belsaw School of DJing correspondence course, and cash in on the exciting, and lucrative world of being a DJ.
 
A buddy of mine is a professional party planner and DJ. $1500 is NOTHING for a wedding DJ. This guy does SWEET SIXTEENS where he charges $5000. He did my daughter's as a favor for $800 and I was thrilled. It normally would have cost over $3000. I guess it depends where you live but where I am that number is REALLY low.

I was travelling from Texas to Wisconsin, bay way of the scenic route, one time, and I found myself spending a night near Hog Eye Arkansas. I bet a DJ in that area does not get $5000 a night. On the other hand, I bet you could find a couple guitars, a fiddle, and a banjo player to play a wedding around there for a good price.
 
Always know your audience before booking any gig. Talk with your cousin and make sure that he knows what you will be playing. It would help if he can hear your band first. The last thing you want to do is run the chance of ruining the wedding if they do not like your band.

My old band did a wedding in the early 1980s. The bride and groom wanted a rock band. Most of the guests were in their 50s, 60s and 70s and did not appreciate the music.
 
I know the band has broken up and the OP is no longer relevant, however I have to ask:

c) carry a couple of fakebooks for that last-minute request from important guest.

What exactly do you guys mean by fake books? I always took it to be books containing jazz standards - lead sheets / chord sheets. Is the term now so widely used as to include ANY type of music?
 
Locally, DJs have pretty much taken over for the market for music at weddings. There are exceptions, but they are few and far between.

I have played many in the past, and I must admit they were not my favorite job. Yes, they paid well, and yes, the hours were great, and yes, there were usually perks such as good food and free drinks.

The negatives were legion, unfortunately. The most common denominating disaster went along these lines:

1. The bride and groom loved our rock band and booked us for their reception. But someone else was writing the check, someone who did not share the wedding couple's enthusiasm.

2. The happy couple would leave the reception early, leaving us to the comments and criticisms and demands of every aunt, uncle, and grandparent in the house. ALL acting as if they were now the boss, flooding us with commands to turn down, to play a waltz, to play George Jones, to play a polka, to turn down, to let cousin Myrtle sing "Muleskinner Blues," but especially to turn down.......

3. We would smile and nod, "Yes, we will get to that in a moment," as we stared at our now nearly worthless set list that had worked so grandly at the bar the weekend before. And then pray for the end of the evening!

Good times.
 
You're not a wedding band ... and I can't imagine why you think you can be for this one gig. Do your cousin a favor and just bow out. It takes a lot more than a set list to be a good wedding band or DJ.

+1 Sometimes you get what you pay for. A wedding DJ will probably do a better job and play a wider variety of music. That said you do have a year to research and prepare which includes adding a lot of keyboard driven silly dance music and ballads......even line dancing songs like the Cupid Shuffle or a naughty song like Blurred Lines. Some bands have problems playing music that they probably hate and never would normally even listen to ....especially lead guitar players. Besides keyboards... many successful wedding bands have female lead vocalists to handle much of the higher range rock songs, top 40 dance songs and ballads. Not trying to be sexist but attractive female singers rocking short black cocktail dresses tend to be a mandatory component to most of the high end wedding and dance bands in this area. Maybe only 1/4 of your current bar band set list is going to work at a wedding. If your a typical jeans and t-shirt guitar driven "dude rock" bar band.....it going to be a big transformation.....it can be done but will every one go along with it and learn a bunch of songs they don't like?
 
You're not a wedding band ... and I can't imagine why you think you can be for this one gig. Do your cousin a favor and just bow out. It takes a lot more than a set list to be a good wedding band or DJ.

+1 Sometimes you get what you pay for. A wedding DJ will probably do a better job and play a wider variety of music. That said you do have a year to research and prepare which includes adding a lot of keyboard driven silly dance music and ballads......even line dancing songs like the Cupid Shuffle or a naughty song like Blurred Lines. Some bands have problems playing music that they probably hate and never would normally even listen to ....especially lead guitar players. Besides keyboards... many successful wedding bands have female lead vocalists to handle much of the higher range rock songs, top 40 dance songs and ballads. Not trying to be sexist but attractive female singers rocking short black cocktail dresses tend to be a mandatory component to most of the high end wedding and dance bands in this area. Maybe only 1/4 of your current bar band set list is going to work at a wedding. If your a typical jeans and t-shirt guitar driven "dude rock" bar band.....it going to be a big transformation.....it can be done but will every one go along with it and learn a bunch of songs they don't like?
 
My band was put together to play my buddy's wedding - my first gig ever too! We had about as much time as the OP has stated, maybe a tad less. We pulled it off, had the place jumping and have continued on for 3 years now and approaching 30 odd gigs. Our plan was to play music that appeals to the masses and is non offensive as not to send Aunty Ethel into a tizzy but lively enough for the youngins to dig it!

Elvis, Beatles, Chuck Berry type of stuff, a few Johnny Cash and some Aussie sing along type songs that are recognisable for everybody to get into and not musically beyond us - we are just dudes having a go!

Turns out we had a tonne of fun and have built our set list and rep from said wedding and we now play a few bars and have gone on to play more weddings because people like our "Southern Aussie Rock Blues" thing because it is not YMCA, Chicken Dance or Insert other generic wedding song here...

Go for it dude, weddings are the best Non stadium gigs to play!