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Bass Rules (Don't touch that bass)
- Thread starter Staccato
- Start date
Important Bass Rules...
Rule #A- Always argue about the best bass for metal.
Rule #0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club.
Rule #1- You WILL bring extra cables, 9v batteries (if applicable) and strings with you. Also a backup bass if your so inclined.
#2- More cow bell.
#3- Never leave the cable connected to your active bass-when you catch a phone call, or when you set the bass aside.
#3.1415 Go ahead and order some pie - bassist needs a big bottom.
#4- Learn the PHANTOM turn down. This comes in handy when dealing with a sound guy that has no clue or band mates that don't yet understand that all the other instruments, including the singer, are only there to accompany the bass!
#4a- Stay in the pocket, or play lead guitar, but don't let the audience forget you're there.
#5: Tubes are HOT!....MMMKAAAA
#6- Keep a flash light in your gig bag.
#6a- No shirts, no shoes will attract a crowd!
#7- No "Cowboy" belt-buckles!
#9- If the Bass is groovin', the butts will be movin', therefore, if your having fun, the crowd will too.
#10- Only agree to remove effects from your rig if your guitar player will do the same!
#11- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
#13- Always check the backseat!
#14- Beware of smoke or sticky stuff leftover from the gig.
#17- Don't expect your singer or the sound engineer to be on time.
#18 - Slappa da bass.
(Note: Rule #18 IS NEVER TO EVEN BE MUTTERED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BASSIST!)
#22- Don't play a gig for free unless you want other musicians on your bad side.
(Exceptions to Rule #22- Charity gigs or Celebrity roasts.)
#34- If the bass exists, there will be photo proof! (NBD has a photo requirement.)
#42- Don't Panic!
#43- Only after Rule #42 is applied, make sure you bring a towel.
#43a- Bass is the way. The way is good.
#66- Travel my way, take the highway that's the best.
#69- Don't play your bass in the opposite direction!
#420- Don't gig under the influence.
#444- Turn down the guitards amp when he is not looking.
(Note: Prepare for payback from guitard.)
#666- Thou shalt have no other bass but the Mothman!
#2012- Play until the worlds demise!
#2112- Don't attempt to play any Rush songs like Geddy...It is not physically possible.
Rule #A- Always argue about the best bass for metal.
Rule #0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club.
Rule #1- You WILL bring extra cables, 9v batteries (if applicable) and strings with you. Also a backup bass if your so inclined.
#2- More cow bell.
#3- Never leave the cable connected to your active bass-when you catch a phone call, or when you set the bass aside.
#3.1415 Go ahead and order some pie - bassist needs a big bottom.
#4- Learn the PHANTOM turn down. This comes in handy when dealing with a sound guy that has no clue or band mates that don't yet understand that all the other instruments, including the singer, are only there to accompany the bass!
#4a- Stay in the pocket, or play lead guitar, but don't let the audience forget you're there.
#5: Tubes are HOT!....MMMKAAAA
#6- Keep a flash light in your gig bag.
#6a- No shirts, no shoes will attract a crowd!
#7- No "Cowboy" belt-buckles!
#9- If the Bass is groovin', the butts will be movin', therefore, if your having fun, the crowd will too.
#10- Only agree to remove effects from your rig if your guitar player will do the same!
#11- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
#13- Always check the backseat!
#14- Beware of smoke or sticky stuff leftover from the gig.
#17- Don't expect your singer or the sound engineer to be on time.
#18 - Slappa da bass.
(Note: Rule #18 IS NEVER TO EVEN BE MUTTERED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BASSIST!)
#22- Don't play a gig for free unless you want other musicians on your bad side.
(Exceptions to Rule #22- Charity gigs or Celebrity roasts.)
#34- If the bass exists, there will be photo proof! (NBD has a photo requirement.)
#42- Don't Panic!
#43- Only after Rule #42 is applied, make sure you bring a towel.
#43a- Bass is the way. The way is good.
#66- Travel my way, take the highway that's the best.
#69- Don't play your bass in the opposite direction!
#420- Don't gig under the influence.
#444- Turn down the guitards amp when he is not looking.
(Note: Prepare for payback from guitard.)
#666- Thou shalt have no other bass but the Mothman!
#2012- Play until the worlds demise!
#2112- Don't attempt to play any Rush songs like Geddy...It is not physically possible.
Rule 732: Always fart before or after your solo, never during.
Rule 34: If it exist, there is porn of it.
Rule 34: If it exist, there is porn of it.
Why are these the same?
Rule #0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club.
#10a- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
Can we amend this to Rule #11? or both rule#0 without the repete?
Rule #0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club.
#10a- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
Can we amend this to Rule #11? or both rule#0 without the repete?
Also I believe we need to all repete the lyrics from the Decendents "All-O-Gistics"
o worshippers of the mighty all
i had a dream
the bass master general came to me
we had a little snack at the donut shop
he said
"drink of my bonus cup, it is my blood"
"eat of this crapper, it is my body"
and his spirit entered me and i became all-ular
the bass master said "you are the chosen one"
"these are the all-o-gistics"
[chanting begins]
thou shalt not commit laundry
thou shalt covet thy neighbor's food (all)
thou shalt not create ties with the scathed (no all)
thou shalt always go for greatness
thou shalt not commit adulthood (all)
thou shalt not partake of decaf (all!)
thou shalt not suppress flatulence
thou shalt not commit hygiene (all!)
thou shalt not have no idea (all)
thou shalt commit thyself to an institution (no all)
thou shalt not take the van's name in vain
thou shalt not allow anything to deter you in your quest for all (all!)
tell me good people who is the sole achiever
who has ground his teeth and gums
so we may live in the beauty of all
(bass master general)
you may achieve all
and not wallow unknown for eternity,
all you have to do is do it! all!
(we shall achieve all)
study them, believe in them,
you must believe, do you believe in it?!
believe and you shall achieve
(we shall achieve all)
he who bears the most gas,
let him also bear forth his ass,
and cast forth the first frap
(all!)
you may achieve bass by chanting the small psalm of all (all!)
chant with me
qwah qwaaaah qwaoh qwah
chant!
qwah qwaaaah qwaoh qwah
pretty good, pretty good
qwah qwaaaah qwaoh qwah [x2]
oh no! here we go again!
the mighty spirit has taken over!
do you feel it, do you feel it?!
(bass master general)
he does everything for us [best guess for this phrase]
for when he brought it among us
the bass master issued[?] forth an all-timatum:
(we shall achieve all)
if you believe, if you believe
you shall achieve all, all, allll!!!
(we shall achieve all!)
o worshippers of the mighty all
i had a dream
the bass master general came to me
we had a little snack at the donut shop
he said
"drink of my bonus cup, it is my blood"
"eat of this crapper, it is my body"
and his spirit entered me and i became all-ular
the bass master said "you are the chosen one"
"these are the all-o-gistics"
[chanting begins]
thou shalt not commit laundry
thou shalt covet thy neighbor's food (all)
thou shalt not create ties with the scathed (no all)
thou shalt always go for greatness
thou shalt not commit adulthood (all)
thou shalt not partake of decaf (all!)
thou shalt not suppress flatulence
thou shalt not commit hygiene (all!)
thou shalt not have no idea (all)
thou shalt commit thyself to an institution (no all)
thou shalt not take the van's name in vain
thou shalt not allow anything to deter you in your quest for all (all!)
tell me good people who is the sole achiever
who has ground his teeth and gums
so we may live in the beauty of all
(bass master general)
you may achieve all
and not wallow unknown for eternity,
all you have to do is do it! all!
(we shall achieve all)
study them, believe in them,
you must believe, do you believe in it?!
believe and you shall achieve
(we shall achieve all)
he who bears the most gas,
let him also bear forth his ass,
and cast forth the first frap
(all!)
you may achieve bass by chanting the small psalm of all (all!)
chant with me
qwah qwaaaah qwaoh qwah
chant!
qwah qwaaaah qwaoh qwah
pretty good, pretty good
qwah qwaaaah qwaoh qwah [x2]
oh no! here we go again!
the mighty spirit has taken over!
do you feel it, do you feel it?!
(bass master general)
he does everything for us [best guess for this phrase]
for when he brought it among us
the bass master issued[?] forth an all-timatum:
(we shall achieve all)
if you believe, if you believe
you shall achieve all, all, allll!!!
(we shall achieve all!)
Yes. The requestor suggested that the rule was THAT important!
And, thanks for the lyrics!
Bass Rules- Practice your techniques, and remember the rules!
Rule #A- Always argue about the best bass for metal.
Rule #0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club.
Rule #1- You WILL bring extra cables, 9v batteries (if applicable) and strings with you. Also a backup bass if your so inclined.
#2- More cow bell.
#3- Never leave the cable connected to your active bass-when you catch a phone call, or when you set the bass aside.
#4- Learn the PHANTOM turn down. This comes in handy when dealing with a sound guy that has no clue or band mates that don't yet understand that all the other instruments, including the singer, are only there to accompany the bass!
#4a- Stay in the pocket, or play lead guitar, but don't let the audience forget you're there.
#5: Tubes are HOT!....MMMKAAAA
#6- Keep a flash light in your gig bag.
#7- No "Cowboy" belt-buckles!
#8- No shirts, no shoes.
#9- If the Bass is groovin', the butts will be movin', therefore, if your having fun, the crowd will too.
#10- Only agree to remove effects from your rig if your guitar player will do the same!
#11- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
#12- Don't forget to clip your finger nails.
(Note: If you gig in bare feet or sandals, you might want to clip the toenails, too!)
#13- Always check the backseat!
#14- Beware of smoke or sticky stuff leftover from the gig.
#15- Pain and cramp are serious warnings.
#17- Don't expect your singer or the sound engineer to be on time.
#18 - Slappa da bass.
(Note: Rule #18 IS NEVER TO EVEN BE MUTTERED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BASSIST!)
#22- Don't play a gig for free unless you want other musicians on your bad side.
(Exceptions to Rule #22- Charity gigs or Celebrity roasts.)
#34- If the bass exists, there will be photo proof! (NBD has a photo requirement.)
#42- Don't Panic!
#43- Only after Rule #42 is applied, make sure you bring a towel.
#43a- Bass is the way. The way is good.
#66- Travel my way, take the highway that's the best.
#69- Don't play your bass in the opposite direction!
#86 - If the guitarist is actually a guitard, he has to go...
#404- Rule Not Found!
#420- Gigging under the influence is A-Ok.
#421- Don't gig under the influence.
#444- Turn down the guitards amp when he is not looking.
(Note: Prepare for payback from guitard.)
#500- Leave some space between the notes.
#666- Thou shalt have no other bass but the Mothman!
#2012- Play until the worlds demise!
#2112- Don't attempt to play any Rush songs like Geddy...It is not physically possible.
#54321- Thunderbirds Are GO!
Rule #A- Always argue about the best bass for metal.
Rule #0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club.
Rule #1- You WILL bring extra cables, 9v batteries (if applicable) and strings with you. Also a backup bass if your so inclined.
#2- More cow bell.
#3- Never leave the cable connected to your active bass-when you catch a phone call, or when you set the bass aside.
#4- Learn the PHANTOM turn down. This comes in handy when dealing with a sound guy that has no clue or band mates that don't yet understand that all the other instruments, including the singer, are only there to accompany the bass!
#4a- Stay in the pocket, or play lead guitar, but don't let the audience forget you're there.
#5: Tubes are HOT!....MMMKAAAA
#6- Keep a flash light in your gig bag.
#7- No "Cowboy" belt-buckles!
#8- No shirts, no shoes.
#9- If the Bass is groovin', the butts will be movin', therefore, if your having fun, the crowd will too.
#10- Only agree to remove effects from your rig if your guitar player will do the same!
#11- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
#12- Don't forget to clip your finger nails.
(Note: If you gig in bare feet or sandals, you might want to clip the toenails, too!)
#13- Always check the backseat!
#14- Beware of smoke or sticky stuff leftover from the gig.
#15- Pain and cramp are serious warnings.
#17- Don't expect your singer or the sound engineer to be on time.
#18 - Slappa da bass.
(Note: Rule #18 IS NEVER TO EVEN BE MUTTERED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BASSIST!)
#22- Don't play a gig for free unless you want other musicians on your bad side.
(Exceptions to Rule #22- Charity gigs or Celebrity roasts.)
#34- If the bass exists, there will be photo proof! (NBD has a photo requirement.)
#42- Don't Panic!
#43- Only after Rule #42 is applied, make sure you bring a towel.
#43a- Bass is the way. The way is good.
#66- Travel my way, take the highway that's the best.
#69- Don't play your bass in the opposite direction!
#86 - If the guitarist is actually a guitard, he has to go...
#404- Rule Not Found!
#420- Gigging under the influence is A-Ok.
#421- Don't gig under the influence.
#444- Turn down the guitards amp when he is not looking.
(Note: Prepare for payback from guitard.)
#500- Leave some space between the notes.
#666- Thou shalt have no other bass but the Mothman!
#2012- Play until the worlds demise!
#2112- Don't attempt to play any Rush songs like Geddy...It is not physically possible.
#54321- Thunderbirds Are GO!
I have to dispute rule 420. I'll request it be changed to rule 421, and rule 420 read Gigging under the influence is A-Ok.
