Bass Rules (Don't touch that bass)

[dangnewt]

Rule 3.1415 Go ahead and order some pie - bassist needs a big bottom.

 

[tekhedd]

Um...

#6a - Do not loan your flash light to anyone. Ever.

er, oops,k there's a 6a. 6a'? 6b?

 

[frankenjazz]

rule # 87 balleds are not the time to channel your inner rocco perista

 

[HeadyVan Halen]

Rule #Blue--If you reach into our tip jar, you will be using your insurance card.

 

[Staccato]

Bass Rules to know, and tell...

Rule #A- Always argue about the best bass for metal.
Rule #Blue--If you reach into our tip jar, you will be using your insurance card!
Rule#0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club!
Rule# 0.032- "If someone asks you why your guitar has only 4 strings you will respond politely!"
Rule #7/8- Get a good job with good pay and you're okay.
Rule #1- You WILL bring extra cables, 9v batteries (if applicable) and strings with you. Also a backup bass if your so inclined.
#2- More cow bell.
#3- Never leave the cable connected to your active bass-when you catch a phone call, or when you set the bass aside.
#4- Learn the PHANTOM turn down. This comes in handy when dealing with a sound guy that has no clue or band mates that don't yet understand that all the other instruments, including the singer, are only there to accompany the bass!
#4a- Stay in the pocket, or play lead guitar, but don't let the audience forget you're there.
#5- Tubes are HOT!....MMMKAAAA
#6- Keep a flash light in your gig bag.
#6a- Do not loan your flash light to anyone. Ever.
#7- No "Cowboy" belt-buckles!
#8- No shirts, no shoes.
#9- If the Bass is groovin', the butts will be movin', therefore, if your having fun, the crowd will too.
#10- Only agree to remove effects from your rig if your guitar player will do the same!
#11- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
#12- Don't forget to clip your finger nails.
(Note: If you gig in bare feet or sandals, you might want to clip the toenails, too!)
#13- Always check the backseat!
#14- Beware of smoke or sticky stuff leftover from the gig.
#15- Pain and cramp are serious warnings.
#17- Don't expect your singer or the sound engineer to be on time.
#18 - Slappa da bass.
(Note: Rule #18 IS NEVER TO EVEN BE MUTTERED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BASSIST!)
#22- Don't play a gig for free unless you want other musicians on your bad side.
(Exceptions to Rule #22- Charity gigs or Celebrity roasts.)
#34- If the bass exists, there will be photo proof! (NBD has a photo requirement.)
#42- Don't Panic!
#43- Only after Rule #42 is applied, make sure you bring a towel.
#43a- Bass is the way. The way is good.
#66- Travel my way, take the highway that's the best.
#69- Don't play your bass in the opposite direction!
#86- If the guitarist is actually a guitard, he has to go...
#87- Ballads are not the time to channel your inner Rocco Perista.
#404- Rule Not Found!
#420- Gigging under the influence is A-Ok.
#421- Don't gig under the influence.
#444- Turn down the guitards amp when he is not looking.
(Note: Prepare for payback from guitard.)
#500- Leave some space between the notes.
#666- Thou shalt have no other bass but the Mothman!
#2012- Play until the worlds demise!
#2112- Don't attempt to play any Rush songs like Geddy...It is not physically possible.
#3620- Cram as many speakers in one cabinet as you can.
#5150- Make sure the cable is plugged into your bass before freaking out thinking your amp has broke.
#54321- Thunderbirds Are GO!

 

[Doom]

Rule 3620: Cram as many speakers in one cabinet as you can

 

[rational baze]

Rule 5150-Make sure the cable is plugged into your bass before freaking out thinking your amp has broke.

Yep, happened more than once.

 

[sikamikanico]

Rule #7/8- Get a good job with good pay and you're okay

 

[SantiagoGT15]

Rule# 0.032 " If someone asks you why your guitar has only 4 strings you will respond politely "

 

[pringlw]

Why are these the same?

Rule #0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club.
#10a- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!

Can we amend this to Rule #11? or both rule#0 without the repete?

I take it you have never seen the movie "Fight Club"

 

[Staccato]

See updated Rules, above...

 

[JTFormula]

Rule #54321: Thunderbirds Are GO!

I thought the Fit is GO, that's what the Honda commercial said.

 

[JTFormula]

I have an actual true rule:

#16 - If you book a gig, you comit to that gig. Under no circumstances, unless you are dead or 30 mins away from death, do you cancel a gig or bail out on your band mates.

 

[Staccato]

Bass Rules for Navigating the Music World!

Rule #A- Always argue about the best bass for metal.
Rule #Blue--If you reach into our tip jar, you will be using your insurance card!
Rule#0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club!
Rule# 0.032- "If someone asks you why your guitar has only 4 strings you will respond politely!"
Rule #7/8- Get a good job with good pay and you're okay.
Rule #1- You WILL bring extra cables, 9v batteries (if applicable) and strings with you. Also a backup bass if your so inclined.
#2- More cow bell.
#3- Never leave the cable connected to your active bass-when you catch a phone call, or when you set the bass aside.
#4- Learn the PHANTOM turn down. This comes in handy when dealing with a sound guy that has no clue or band mates that don't yet understand that all the other instruments, including the singer, are only there to accompany the bass!
#4a- Stay in the pocket, or play lead guitar, but don't let the audience forget you're there.
#5- Tubes are HOT!....MMMKAAAA
#6- Keep a flash light in your gig bag.
#6a- Do not loan your flash light to anyone. Ever.
#7- No "Cowboy" belt-buckles!
#8- No shirts, no shoes.
#9- If the Bass is groovin', the butts will be movin', therefore, if your having fun, the crowd will too.
#10- Only agree to remove effects from your rig if your guitar player will do the same!
#11- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
#12- Don't forget to clip your finger nails.
(Note: If you gig in bare feet or sandals, you might want to clip the toenails, too!)
#13- Always check the backseat!
#14- Beware of smoke or sticky stuff leftover from the gig.
#15- Pain and cramp are serious warnings.
#16- If you book a gig, you comit to that gig. Under no circumstances, unless you are dead or 30 mins away from death, do you cancel a gig or bail out on your band mates.
#17- Don't expect your singer or the sound engineer to be on time.
#18 - Slappa da bass.
(Note: Rule #18 IS NEVER TO EVEN BE MUTTERED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BASSIST!)
#22- Don't play a gig for free unless you want other musicians on your bad side.
(Exceptions to Rule #22- Charity gigs or Celebrity roasts.)
#34- If the bass exists, there will be photo proof! (NBD has a photo requirement.)
#42- Don't Panic!
#43- Only after Rule #42 is applied, make sure you bring a towel.
#43a- Bass is the way. The way is good.
#66- Travel my way, take the highway that's the best.
#69- Don't play your bass in the opposite direction!
#86- If the guitarist is actually a guitard, he has to go...
#87- Ballads are not the time to channel your inner Rocco Perista.
#404- Rule Not Found!
#420- Gigging under the influence is A-Ok.
#421- Don't gig under the influence.
#444- Turn down the guitards amp when he is not looking.
(Note: Prepare for payback from guitard.)
#500- Leave some space between the notes.
#666- Thou shalt have no other bass but the Mothman!
#2012- Play until the worlds demise!
#2112- Don't attempt to play any Rush songs like Geddy...It is not physically possible.
#3620- Cram as many speakers in one cabinet as you can.
#5150- Make sure the cable is plugged into your bass before freaking out thinking your amp has broke.
#54321- Thunderbirds Are GO!

 

[AwkwardBass]

Rule 19: Never gig with a boner. If you do, it'd better be part of a gimmick.

 

[jefwho]

30# If you didn't throw in for the pizza you are not entitled to half of it.

 

[thunderstation]

#

Bass Rules for Navigating the Music World!

Rule #A- Always argue about the best bass for metal.
Rule #Blue--If you reach into our tip jar, you will be using your insurance card!
Rule#0- You DON'T talk about talkbass club!
Rule# 0.032- "If someone asks you why your guitar has only 4 strings you will respond politely!"
Rule #7/8- Get a good job with good pay and you're okay.
Rule #1- You WILL bring extra cables, 9v batteries (if applicable) and strings with you. Also a backup bass if your so inclined.
#2- More cow bell.
#3- Never leave the cable connected to your active bass-when you catch a phone call, or when you set the bass aside.
#4- Learn the PHANTOM turn down. This comes in handy when dealing with a sound guy that has no clue or band mates that don't yet understand that all the other instruments, including the singer, are only there to accompany the bass!
#4a- Stay in the pocket, or play lead guitar, but don't let the audience forget you're there.
#5- Tubes are HOT!....MMMKAAAA
#6- Keep a flash light in your gig bag.
#6a- Do not loan your flash light to anyone. Ever.
#7- No "Cowboy" belt-buckles!
#8- No shirts, no shoes.
#9- If the Bass is groovin', the butts will be movin', therefore, if your having fun, the crowd will too.
#10- Only agree to remove effects from your rig if your guitar player will do the same!
#11- YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TALKBASS CLUB!!!
#12- Don't forget to clip your finger nails.
(Note: If you gig in bare feet or sandals, you might want to clip the toenails, too!)
#13- Always check the backseat!
#14- Beware of smoke or sticky stuff leftover from the gig.
#15- Pain and cramp are serious warnings.
#16- If you book a gig, you comit to that gig. Under no circumstances, unless you are dead or 30 mins away from death, do you cancel a gig or bail out on your band mates.
#17- Don't expect your singer or the sound engineer to be on time.
#18 - Slappa da bass.
(Note: Rule #18 IS NEVER TO EVEN BE MUTTERED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BASSIST!)
#19 - Never think you don't need a strap loc
#22- Don't play a gig for free unless you want other musicians on your bad side.
(Exceptions to Rule #22- Charity gigs or Celebrity roasts.)
#34- If the bass exists, there will be photo proof! (NBD has a photo requirement.)
#42- Don't Panic!
#43- Only after Rule #42 is applied, make sure you bring a towel.
#43a- Bass is the way. The way is good.
#66- Travel my way, take the highway that's the best.
#69- Don't play your bass in the opposite direction!
#86- If the guitarist is actually a guitard, he has to go...
#87- Ballads are not the time to channel your inner Rocco Perista.
#404- Rule Not Found!
#420- Gigging under the influence is A-Ok.
#421- Don't gig under the influence.
#444- Turn down the guitards amp when he is not looking.
(Note: Prepare for payback from guitard.)
#500- Leave some space between the notes.
#666- Thou shalt have no other bass but the Mothman!
#2012- Play until the worlds demise!
#2112- Don't attempt to play any Rush songs like Geddy...It is not physically possible.
#3620- Cram as many speakers in one cabinet as you can.
#5150- Make sure the cable is plugged into your bass before freaking out thinking your amp has broke.
#54321- Thunderbirds Are GO!

 

[rust_preacher]

Rule 19: Never gig with a boner. If you do, it'd better be part of a gimmick.

...wearing only the tennis sock...