Haji
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Bassist Jokes
- Thread starter Kurtis Marleau
- Start date
Dan's where all my favorite drummer jokes came from.
"How can you tell when a stage is level? Dan drools out of both sides of his mouth!
Dan - the recovering drum addict...
butchblack
Life is short. Do good. Find and do what you love.
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
28...one to change the light bulb and the rest to discuss how Jaco would have done it...
28...one to change the light bulb and the rest to discuss how Jaco would have done it...
Why is a bass so much better than a guitar?
It will burn longer.
It will burn longer.
I went to the Crossroads and met the Devil. He told me I could be the greatest guitar player in the world. All I had to do is promise him my soul for all of eternity. And that's how I became a bass player....
What's the difference between a bassist and a roast chicken?
A roast chicken can feed a family of four.
A roast chicken can feed a family of four.
Using your best Rodney Dangerfield voice....
Yeah...when I was a youngster I had sex with my music teacher...Too bad I was home schooled!
Yeah...when I was a youngster I had sex with my music teacher...Too bad I was home schooled!
Touching on that, at least we can say the drummer was 'locked in' for a change! *rimshot*
....alright, I'll go now.
My question is what were they doing in the light bulb to begin with?
Hi,
My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they want to or not.
Thank you for your indulgence,
BassCliff
My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they want to or not.
Thank you for your indulgence,
BassCliff
What do people say when they meet a bass player for the first time?
"Hey everybody, the pizza is here!"
What do bass players ask people when they first meet?
"Paper or plastic?"
"Hey everybody, the pizza is here!"
What do bass players ask people when they first meet?
"Paper or plastic?"
Two guys die at around the same time, and end up in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter calls up the first guy, looks him up in the Book of Life, discovers he is a priest, and says “I see you are a man of the cloth. Please head up the hill on the left as you pass through the gates, and you’ll find your house second on the right. It has floor to ceiling windows, and new carpet.”
St. Peter calls up the next guy, looks him up in the Book of Life, discovers he’s a bassist, and says, “right this way, sir. I’ll escort you personally to your mansion. It is brand new with Italian marble kitchen and bath, 24 karat gold leaf mouldings, and a vintage Rolls Royce in the garage.”
The priest feels slighted by the attention and lack of appointments in his eternal home, and brings it up to St. Peter.
“What’s the deal Pete? I’m a man of God, but he gets a nicer mansion and a personal escort? What gives?
St. Peter responds, “well, up here we get priests all the time—this is our first bass player”
St. Peter calls up the next guy, looks him up in the Book of Life, discovers he’s a bassist, and says, “right this way, sir. I’ll escort you personally to your mansion. It is brand new with Italian marble kitchen and bath, 24 karat gold leaf mouldings, and a vintage Rolls Royce in the garage.”
The priest feels slighted by the attention and lack of appointments in his eternal home, and brings it up to St. Peter.
“What’s the deal Pete? I’m a man of God, but he gets a nicer mansion and a personal escort? What gives?
St. Peter responds, “well, up here we get priests all the time—this is our first bass player”
Mean guitarist put one of the bass players strings out of tune..but wouldn't tell him which one...
What do Double Basses and elderly parents have in common?
They're fragile, unforgiving, and difficult to get in & out of cars.
They're fragile, unforgiving, and difficult to get in & out of cars.
Q: How many drunken bass players does it take to dig out a tree stump?
A: Two... one to attack the roots, and the other to bring the fifths.
A: Two... one to attack the roots, and the other to bring the fifths.
how many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
Five.
One.
Five.
One.
Five.
One.
Five...
One.
Five.
One.
Five.
One.
Five.
One.
Five...
