Best Bass for Bar Fights?

[DredFetus]

You could go with gene simons axe

 

[I Need a six...]

This is the stupidest thread I've ever seen. If you going to hit someone with it you shouldn't be playing it In the first place. Get a billy club

 

[TripleDouble]

You do realise you're asking a bunch of old men incapable of holding a bass that weighs more than 7.25lbs advice about fighting?

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

so:
you're looking for an instrument you can physically beat people with?

that's so wrong, on so many levels, I don't even know where to start.
FAIL.

Nope, can't go around defending yourself. That wouldn't be friendly at all.

 

[bholder]

This is the stupidest thread I've ever seen. If you going to hit someone with it you shouldn't be playing it In the first place. Get a billy club

If you get stopped by the police, a billy club is considered a dangerous weapon and can lead to unfortunate consequences. Less risky with a T-40. And if it's in the hardshell case, pretty much guaranteed no harm will come to the bass unless someone starts shooting.

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

if you use the mic stands with the heavy weight at the bottom rather than the lighter foldup tripod style, it will save your bass and is actually a better weapon.

 

[Son of Wobble]

Don't do damage to your basses, guys.

Best barroom weapon by far is a POB - "pitcher of beer." Should be constructed of glass so as to insure maximum heft and cranial damage.

 

[Canadian APII]

Some P from the pawn shop down the road.

 

[TripleDouble]

And as tough as you might feel doing it, don't try biting the top off a beer bottle and spitting it at anyone. I saw this rocket surgeon move attempted once by an acquaintance, right before we all went to see the mouth surgeon.

 

[JanusZarate]

I agree that you should never use your bass as a weapon.

With that said, I have personal experience with using an EBMM StingRay as a bar fight weapon. It is still in my recording and live arsenal after 7+ years and has never needed repairs. That should tell you everything you need to know about its effectiveness in battle.

 

[Coolhandjjl]

 

[Quilbert]

My money would be on some type of stick bass with a good mahogany body. Something you can swing easily.

 

[BrewsterRooster]

I'd hit 'em with a large-mouth bass. 3 to 4 pounder would do it.

Fresh or frozen?

 

[Jamvan]

As the OP, I'm not sure what I find more frightening about my original question; the fact that some don't get that it was asked with tongue firmly planted in cheek -OR- that so many of you have actual combat experience with your basses?!

I'm optimistic this gig won't resort to violence although it is during a Zombie Crawl so I'll be fighting the undead anyway...

 

[BostonTerror]

If you get stopped by the police, a billy club is considered a dangerous weapon and can lead to unfortunate consequences. Less risky with a T-40. And if it's in the hardshell case, pretty much guaranteed no harm will come to the bass unless someone starts shooting.

Excellent point.

 

[Blue Moose]

Personally, I'd grab my guitar player's rosewood Telecaster. No need in trashing a perfectly good Jazz Bass when somebody else's instrument is handy

 

[Jason Tubbs]

A steinberger. It is light but solid and it has a tighter swing radius for close combat.

My XL2 is heavier than my AS Jazz Bass, but I'll agree on "solid".

 

[higain617]

One of those Series Alembics. They are 15 lbs. and shaped like a big paddle.

 

[BostonTerror]

I dunno guys - I had a gig where a past prime stripper crawled up on stage, started dancing, and whacked the headstock of my '74 P with her hand bag as she twirled around. She took a nice divot from the headstock. Stripper - 1, P bass - 0. I kinda like the frozen 3-4 bass option, though I might substitute for a larger, striped version.

 

[Subbota]

For a heavy duty club that makes bass-like sounds you need to import some good old soviet hardware. They make the T-40 look like a lightweight, can be used to drive railroad spikes, and if you're drunk enough sound like a bass guitar.

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Beware: In Soviet Russia bass plays you!