Best bass for self defense?

[bassmeknik]

I may be old fashioned but this thread just glorifies violence and that IMHO should not be acceptable on this forum.

 

[chokeslam512]

Something with a graphite neck or maybe one of those aluminum necked Kramers. You do want to be able to play said bass after said altercation right?

 

[Jay2U]

A Gene Simmons Axe!

 

[Ben Noblit]

A bunch of old pros over here will tell you that a Peavey T-40 is the workhorse of weaponized basses.

 

[pklima]

This classic. It's sharply pointy and long, so you have a range advantage.

 

[Heathen]

I may be old fashioned but this thread just glorifies violence and that IMHO should not be acceptable on this forum.

This thread also requires some strange quality known as a Sense Of Humour.

 

[Old Fart]

Small man syndrome...very popular in Ireland..you know the whole "fighting Irish" thing? It's no mere stereotype..and it's got nothing to do with throwing off the yoke of British occupation etc...basically the Irish like to beat the **** out of each other in the streets. Since nobody carries weapons here, everybody is a valid target.

As for my own size/appearance...I can make a precision look like a guitar:



Am a pacifist/bassist/nerd/software engineer but am built big...in the last 4 years I've been beaten into the head so hard I lost proper use of my right hand for a week (at random, in the countryside), been mugged at an ATM machine and accidentally almost killed the guy, been kicked up the ass lifting gear into a countryside gig by a drunk stranger, had a death threat from a junkie about 6 months ago, attacked by two of them yesterday, been thrown down a flight of stairs at a nightclub for sitting on the wrong seat..the list goes on. Violence is hard to avoid in Irish life, especially if you're over 6 foot in a country of relatively small people.

I lived outside Ireland for my entire twenties and never accosted ONCE..

I grew up in a small logging town in North Idaho, where fighting was one of the most popular pastimes. There is a sign over one of the bars in tow;

"Absolutely no fighting. Don't even ask."

 

[wideload]

Best is Gibson RD Artist. LOTS of wood to hide behind, and a long neck and lethal point to take it to the hooligans. Covered me in many a bar fight in the 80's!

 

[vollerenbass]

Sharpen gene simmons' bass that outta fend some people off...or a hamer for the mass!

 

[Hawkbone]

maybe the best thread ever! lots of hilarity all around. I think the fish is the winner - just do a Python fish slapping dance with a bass in each hand and your enemies will cower before you

 

[Chebass88]

This classic. It's sharply pointy and long, so you have a range advantage.

Plus, you could string it up like a longbow & put an arrow through their chest.

 

[Saxn]

This classic. It's sharply pointy and long, so you have a range advantage.

This was obviously designed by Klingons and therefore is automatically a contender. WTH IS this Klingon-bass contraption??

 

[pklima]

It's Link Removed. Sadly underappreciated in the pantheon of weird basses.

 

[jags]

Isn't that Worf's bass? The one he uses when he jams with Data on oboe and Riker on trombone!

Link Removed

 

[theundecidedone]

I grew up in a small logging town in North Idaho, where fighting was one of the most popular pastimes. There is a sign over one of the bars in tow;

"Absolutely no fighting. Don't even ask."

ahh, Idaho. isn't it great?

 

[Semisweet]

just do a Python fish slapping dance with a bass in each hand and your enemies will cower before you

+1

 

[okcrum]

It's Link Removed. Sadly underappreciated in the pantheon of weird basses.

Man, that thing reeks of epic.

 

[ReginaldPLinux]

Has Electrical Guitar Company been mentioned in this thread? All aluminium. Although I'm not sure how well the hollow neck would hold up in battle.

 

[Sneakypete]

I'm guessing the dayjob isn't with the Irish Tourist Board then?

 

[steveksux]

The original steinberger would be my favorite in a fight. Its only drawback is no headstock, if you go sweaty in the fight, it could end up slipping out of your hands. But its a solid piece of graphite, and weighs almost as much as a regular bass. It would do a lot of damage, and not get knocked out of tune.

Its graphite, I suspect it could even be bulletproof, although with its small size you'd have to keep it covering your junk and sacrifice other nonvital areas like your chest...

The problem is they are pretty rare now, people need another option for self defense.

So my other obvious choice would be...

WISHBASS!!! If you break off a piece, who could tell the difference??

Randy