Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Bizarre things people say during practices
- Thread starter artechoke
- Start date
Singer borrowing my guitar, so she can instead bring the bassist's bass, so the bassist doesn't have to lug her bass to class. That results in: "this guitar matches your hair, cause it's asymmetrically orange".
- Aug 21, 2003
- 11,584
- 18,593
- Disclosures
- A-Designs Mike Lull GK Tsunami Cables GHS Strings RMI Basswitch Nordstrand Pickups Darkglass
Not really a bizarre thing that was said; more a thing that was done.
During one practice with my first band the drummer kept talking on and one about how he wanted a mohawk. (He had med/long hair).
We pretty much disregarded this, and kept on jamming. We finish the song that we were doing, and he stands up.
He says: "I'll be right back, guys. Keep working on that part."
Sure enough...
5 mins...
10 mins...
15...
And the guy comes back with a bizarrely done mohawk. Sits down, and carries on playing.
During one practice with my first band the drummer kept talking on and one about how he wanted a mohawk. (He had med/long hair).
We pretty much disregarded this, and kept on jamming. We finish the song that we were doing, and he stands up.
He says: "I'll be right back, guys. Keep working on that part."
Sure enough...
5 mins...
10 mins...
15...
And the guy comes back with a bizarrely done mohawk. Sits down, and carries on playing.
Guitard: You (myself) need to dress more slutty for the shows.
Me: As soon as you want to wear a dress with your junk hanging out with high heels i will join you.
Guitard: Thats not the same!
Drummer: Hes just scared because then people will find out he dosent have a pair.
Me: As soon as you want to wear a dress with your junk hanging out with high heels i will join you.
Guitard: Thats not the same!
Drummer: Hes just scared because then people will find out he dosent have a pair.
I'd do it.
Gonna have to practice playing bass in heels tho.
This was a first for me, honest, and no kidding. Keep him at all conditions. You'll never find anyone like this again.
At a gig not all that long ago..
My singer falls off the stage (about 2 feet up), gets back on the stage and in the middle of the song answers her phone. She asks to cut the set short - SO SHE CAN FUGGIN PUKE her brains out. Keep in mind we're only at the first set..
In between sets, she and her mom RAIL ME because its my fault she fell off the stage, answered her phone and puked BECAUSE THE BASS WAS TOO LOUD. Well, the bass and drums were "slightly elevated" so we could cover up her word slurring ass if she remembered the words. Set 2 we sat her down... Ok - thats weirdness number 1.
The next Friday night 6/29/2013 to be exact (don't ask me how I remember - lets just say it was either one of the best or one of the worst weekends EVER) - Im at a Mets game. My drummer calls me (another rocket scientist) and its URGENT I call him. Im put on double secret probation because our singer puking, falling off the stage and answering her phone was my fault. I laugh and hang up. Next practice Im warned, I LOL right in the entire bands face - They ask wheres my gear, I tell them A) I QUIT, B) All the gigs I booked, I took, C) Im playing in the competing band who we always followed them on the slow weekend.. See ya! So anyone every hear of a bass player being blamed for a puking singer who was 10 shots deep?
My singer falls off the stage (about 2 feet up), gets back on the stage and in the middle of the song answers her phone. She asks to cut the set short - SO SHE CAN FUGGIN PUKE her brains out. Keep in mind we're only at the first set..
In between sets, she and her mom RAIL ME because its my fault she fell off the stage, answered her phone and puked BECAUSE THE BASS WAS TOO LOUD. Well, the bass and drums were "slightly elevated" so we could cover up her word slurring ass if she remembered the words. Set 2 we sat her down... Ok - thats weirdness number 1.
The next Friday night 6/29/2013 to be exact (don't ask me how I remember - lets just say it was either one of the best or one of the worst weekends EVER) - Im at a Mets game. My drummer calls me (another rocket scientist) and its URGENT I call him. Im put on double secret probation because our singer puking, falling off the stage and answering her phone was my fault. I laugh and hang up. Next practice Im warned, I LOL right in the entire bands face - They ask wheres my gear, I tell them A) I QUIT, B) All the gigs I booked, I took, C) Im playing in the competing band who we always followed them on the slow weekend.. See ya! So anyone every hear of a bass player being blamed for a puking singer who was 10 shots deep?
Ahh, finally a face to the expression Drama Queen. Or that was perhaps the stage name of hers, or your band name?
singer to us (the band) "so we'll go through these 40 songs (?!?) for the new year gig and finally decide which 20 to do, besides we'll play most of those songs to backing tracks at the gig but you guys have to be ready just in case the backing tracks f up" ..
They don't realize it, though. They think they're in C.
Someone answers the phone, and just have to, because bass was too loud?* That's a first too. Sell your stuff to phone operators. They want as many as possible to pickup their phones and answer. Will give'm cash. And the phone calls are drawn out beyond any reasonable time, because everyone keep sayin "What !!!!??" or "I can't hear you..." for several minutes due to the bass in the background. More "catchink" in their cash, and intervals.
*Frankly, that must be some physical or psycic condition, some "letter-combination" thing, like OCD, but a B thrown in. B like in BASS" OCBD.
The only one I can remember from way way back was (still, all in our teens):
The dangerous thing with new members in a band in their first few rehearsals, is when the other cracks a deliberate musicians joke, or say something as a joke, but is interpreted by the other as totally serious, due to the combination to comply and trust the other members and lack of ANY musical education/theory at all. I e a misunderstanding of a deliberate joke. Like turning it the other way around. We think the new guy is cracking a good joke, but is dead serious:
Addressing the keyboard player:
Me: You have to play G7 there...
Keyboardist: Seven of'em? Isn't one enough?
The rest of the band, including me: Cracked up, and totally laughed our butts off! Thought it was a hilarious joke, a deliberate pun. What a witty guy! He's perfect in this band, we thought. But he didn't react. Just a slight shy smile to join in, so to speak.
We then threw us into the song, and he really played seven G chords (not with a 7) in a row each bar (7 bars) when it came to that part, though the rest of us changed chords after each bar. We stopped and asked him why? And he said "You said 7...". We still thought he joked and pulled one on us, but as we could detect and see his face expression we knew he was dead serious, and he saw on all our faces that we flushed, and after a while he turned silent. He got very embarrassed and flushed too. Then I had to drop the "hard line" being the straight man, and asked him if he knew what a G7 chord was, and sure enough, he didn't. When he saw that one written down, he always thought it was an abbreviation of playing G seven times in a row (never mind the minor or major thing) instead of having to write out the letter G seven times!
He even played each chord with the root at the start of his fingers/hand, otherwise he got lost. Root note of the chord first, otherwise lost.
Now today, when I tell this it reminds everyone of that Monthy Python sketch "When we tell this to younger people they don't believe it really happened...". No one believes this until they've asked the rest of the members of the band. They think it's a contrived made up joke, or "dramatized" or "added content" to make one of the guys a laughing stock. Especially as it was a keyboard player and not a "just startin out" punk guitard which could mitigate the credibilty to the story somewhat. I think that we ourselves taking it as a joke from the start would be the laughing stocks just as well then. Self-deprecation.
The dangerous thing with new members in a band in their first few rehearsals, is when the other cracks a deliberate musicians joke, or say something as a joke, but is interpreted by the other as totally serious, due to the combination to comply and trust the other members and lack of ANY musical education/theory at all. I e a misunderstanding of a deliberate joke. Like turning it the other way around. We think the new guy is cracking a good joke, but is dead serious:
Addressing the keyboard player:
Me: You have to play G7 there...
Keyboardist: Seven of'em? Isn't one enough?
The rest of the band, including me: Cracked up, and totally laughed our butts off! Thought it was a hilarious joke, a deliberate pun. What a witty guy! He's perfect in this band, we thought. But he didn't react. Just a slight shy smile to join in, so to speak.
We then threw us into the song, and he really played seven G chords (not with a 7) in a row each bar (7 bars) when it came to that part, though the rest of us changed chords after each bar. We stopped and asked him why? And he said "You said 7...". We still thought he joked and pulled one on us, but as we could detect and see his face expression we knew he was dead serious, and he saw on all our faces that we flushed, and after a while he turned silent. He got very embarrassed and flushed too. Then I had to drop the "hard line" being the straight man, and asked him if he knew what a G7 chord was, and sure enough, he didn't. When he saw that one written down, he always thought it was an abbreviation of playing G seven times in a row (never mind the minor or major thing) instead of having to write out the letter G seven times!
He even played each chord with the root at the start of his fingers/hand, otherwise he got lost. Root note of the chord first, otherwise lost.Now today, when I tell this it reminds everyone of that Monthy Python sketch "When we tell this to younger people they don't believe it really happened...". No one believes this until they've asked the rest of the members of the band. They think it's a contrived made up joke, or "dramatized" or "added content" to make one of the guys a laughing stock. Especially as it was a keyboard player and not a "just startin out" punk guitard which could mitigate the credibilty to the story somewhat. I think that we ourselves taking it as a joke from the start would be the laughing stocks just as well then. Self-deprecation.
Last edited:
