• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Bizarre things people say during practices

artechoke

artechoke

Guest
Nov 9, 2012
65
22
Rhode Island
#1
My band dissolved a couple of weeks ago because our drummer is moving to Kentucky (!@#!$)—and I was thinking about some of the weird things we've said to each another. I wanted to write this stuff down before I forget it all (I know I've already forgotten some good ones, its frustrating).

Most of the head shaking stuff came from the singer:

Singer vs Bass

singer: Why don't you do a bass run or a fill or something during that part?

me: Well <guitar player> is already arpeggiating all of the chords, and its getting too noisy. I'm just going to keep it simple.

singer: There you go with those five dollar words again!

me: arpeggio? Have you ever heard defenestrate?

Singer vs Bass

singer: oh you like Peaveys? I have a Peavey bass, you'd really like it. (I think he said it was a Foundation)

me: Cool.

singer: I converted it to frettless by tearing the frets out and filling the cracks, but I never finished the job. Have you ever done that to a bass?

me: No.

singer: What?! You haven't!?

I can't over emphasize how shocked he was.

Singer vs Guitar

singer: don't take offense at this, but your solo should be more !#@!$ed up.

guitar: ...

Bass vs Singer

me: <singer> you should do heroine.

singer: What? No! I've never done anything like that, never will.

me: Bear with me.

me: Phillip Seymour Hoffman before heroine: Phillip Seymour Hoffman—actor!

me: Phillip Seymour Hoffman after heroine: Phillip Seymour Hoffman—LEGEND!

singer: I don't wanna be a legend.

Bass vs Guitar

guitar: the progression goes like this.

bass: are those all major chords?

guitar: yeah.

bass: ever think of putting some minors in there? You know, mix it up a little?

guitar: ...no.

Maybe it was funny if you were there... maybe not. I know there about a million other weird conversations, but they all sort of smear together into one gigantic blur at this point. The singer was always going on about being an expert at things that he wasn't an expert at...
 
  • Like
Reactions: SeamzKing, Brazilfunk and avillani89
#2
Singers are often quite 'special'.

We had one come to rehearsal, and place his mic in the clip on the stand (and not even plugged in yet), and say
"There, I'm set up. What's taking you guys so long?"

I also had one tell me that practice was still on, even though we were in the midst of a raging snowstorm.
I show up at the guitar player's house, he's still at work, and the singer had decided to 'fix' the guitar player's cabinet, which was a small home built 1X15.
The singer cut out the baffle and changed it to a 2X10 (with a different baffle obviously).
The guitar player freaked out when he finally got home several hours later.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Brazilfunk
#5
kcole4001 said:
I show up at the guitar player's house, he's still at work, and the singer had decided to 'fix' the guitar player's cabinet, which was a small home built 1X15.
The singer cut out the baffle and changed it to a 2X10 (with a different baffle obviously).
The guitar player freaked out when he finally got home several hours later.
Click to expand...

Why? Why would anyone do that? I've got nothing on that. That's insane.

JohnDeereJack said:
'Heroine' as in a woman admired for her courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities or 'heroin' as in a highly addictive analgesic drug derived from morphine?
Click to expand...
Well, he usually didn't have anything good to say about the former. Incidentally has anyone heard the term, "clown face?" His typical conversations about, "heroines" were usually along those lines. If you don't know what I'm talking about, do yourself a favour and don't look it up. Its not good. It was an educational moment I'd rather hadn't happened.

@rtav, thank you sir.
 
#6
Singerbabe gets very creative at times, and it goes strange and sometimes wonderous places. We should probably make a catalog of the stuff she says. She had some competition yesterday. Drummerbabe who just turned 27 was explaining about blue pills. I asked her why she knew what color those pills were and all about them and I (54) didn't. Lots of laughing and off color comments after the pause.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Klonk
#16
artechoke said:
Bass vs Guitar

guitar: the progression goes like this.

bass: are those all major chords?

guitar: yeah.

bass: ever think of putting some minors in there? You know, mix it up a little?

guitar: ...no.

Maybe it was funny if you were there...
Click to expand...

That is funny, especially since I had that same discussion with a guitarist 33 years ago. So I took his guitar and played it with just 1 chord different a (Db maj to a minor).
It had honestly never occurred to him. I didn't get writing credit because it was an original from before I joined (even though it improved the main riff, bridge, and lyrics).

On our second day together, I was bombarded with stories of previous bass players and their eccentricities.

Months later, my then girlfriend came to audition as singer (we were in a Rush phase), the first words spoken to her were: "You like chocolate donuts?...Good!" (Not waiting for a response).
The gf is now my wife, we still laugh about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Brazilfunk
#17
I played with a guy for a few years who said all of the following:

I suggested he take some lessons once and he replied:
"I don't need to know note names or theory, music comes from the soul, if I learn that it will just make me worse".

I suggested we try some songs in a minor key, he replied:
"This song uses a lot of minor keys..LOOK!" he proceed to show me his fingers on the black keys of the piano "see I'm playing the minor keys"

I was explaining to our guitar player the song we were learning, so I said "It's super simple, it's I -IV- V in C"
When the drummer asked "what does that mean?"
He chimes in with this gem: "It means what fret they are playing on, it a way for amateurs to explain to each other how to play things"

picard-facepalm.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: WinterSun_Fan, Brazilfunk, MegaSwing and 2 others
#18
Drummer shows up for rehearsal with a pump shotgun and tells the guitar player's wife (we were at GP's place)...

"If the cops show up asking about me I ain't here. If some red headed MF shows up asking about me, don't tell him I'm here, just come get me."

Fortunately, no cops or red headed MF's showed up.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Osztertag2112
#20
nothing wrong with not knowing music theory. Only wrong if you start pretending what stuff means when you really don't.



I played for a while with a drummer who had a fire alarm type bell as part of his drumset. We're between songs and he does a little roll on the bell.

"time for school, boys," I say.

The guitar player leers at us both.
"It's always time for schoolboys" he says.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Brazilfunk

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back